Love or not love

I could still remember how my mum smiled sweetly at me and how she placed my little hands on her laps and began caressing them and the next thing I heard was a loud bang and then I lost consciousness. When I opened my eyes I saw my my in a pool of her own blood.It’s been 15 years now and I still can’t get over the trauma of loosing my mum in an accident.Sometimes, I wish I had gone to heaven with her because after that accident, my dad lost his mind and he lost everything to the bank where he took a huge loan for his business.He started being so aggressive,he became a drunk,he stopped providing for me and I later went to live with my uncle and his family when I turned 18 hoping that they would take me as family. That was a bad idea,because they treated me so badly. And now, I’m a waitress in a bar where I don’t even earn enough for my rent. I was snapped out of my thoughts by Natalie who has been my best friend for 6 years and now we work at same bar. “Erica,the tables won’t clean up themselves”she said and sat down next to me. “What are you thinking Erica”. I realized that i was lost in my thoughts again and this time at my work place.Natalie stood up from the seat where we sat, she walked in front of me,held me by my hands and helped me stand up. “Everything would be fine baby girl, it’s a matter of time”. I’m so grateful to God for giving me Someone like Natalie. “Thank you Natalie,I don’t know what I would have done without you”I said as I went in for a hug. “You’re always welcome baby girl, I got your back”. We went back to cleaning the remaining dirty tables and once we were done cleaning, we went to the dressing room and changed from our uniform to our casual clothes. Immediately we stepped out of the bar ,Natalie got a call. “Who’s that?”I asked.“ its zack” she replied lazily.She walked forward and answered the call. After what seemed like a minute or two she walked back towards me . “Zack wants me to come have a drink with him at his house,please leave without me, I’ll text you when I get there”.she then made a cute face urging me to agree. “Come on Natalie, you told me you don’t like this guy and you still manage to hang out with him, you guys are not even dating,who are you?”. “I’m Natalie defender of Erica’s kingdom”she answered while making a funny gesture with her hand.we both laughed our ass off. “Be careful gir. . “ before I could complete my sentence, she had already ran off and took a cab . “What’s wrong with this girl” I chuckled softly and began walking down the road to the bus stop where I took a bus to my house.