The Beta’s Alpha Mate

Fifteen

Grayson’s POV

Well this morning went to s**t fast, yeah? I said to Fang.

You could be nicer to mate. He’s trying. Things are new for him. My wolf was siding with Julien. Of course he was.

Why don’t you go hibernate and I’ll call you if I need your opinion? I snapped, not caring that it was insulting.

He sighed. You literally spoke to me first. Maybe in my next life I’ll get paired with a human who listens to my advice.

* * * * *

I spent the next eight hours or so trying to convince myself that Julien needed to apologize to me first. He had made multiple comments to make me feel guilty about how many partners I’ve had, when I know he’s had just as many. He was the one who wanted to keep our relationship a secret. He was the one ashamed of me.

But in the end, he was my best friend. I knew him better than anyone. And I knew that all of his reservations and hostile comments were a reflection of his own fears, rather than anything I personally had done. Julien had been trained to be an Alpha since he was a toddler, and even though Alpha Frank was a good man, he still had certain still rules and expectations for Juls. He was supposed to be strong, and hold back his emotions. He wasn’t allowed to admit when he was afraid, or relinquish control to anyone. He was supposed to find a mate to give him an heir, to provide the pack with their next Alpha.

Then the Moon Goddess spoke, and fate paired us together, and many of those expectations of being an Alpha were suddenly blurry instead of black & white. I needed to be more understanding. More willing to give him time.

And that is why, after everyone else was in their rooms following dinner our first night at Moonstone Pack, I found myself headed across the hall to Julien’s room to apologize. He had been quiet all day, and I knew our fight was on his mind as well.

Before I could knock, his door swung open.

“Oh!” There was my mate, looking tired but still beautiful. His dark blue eyes were wide, surprised to see me.

“Ah, hey, man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt-“ I started.

“No, no, I was just coming to find you,” he cut me off.

“Oh.”

“Well, do you want to come in?”

I nodded and followed him into the room, my plan suddenly less clear to me than when I’d set out. I sat on his bed, and he came to sit next to me, taking my hands in his before speaking.

“Grayson, look, I’m sorry. Really and truly sorry. I’m sorry about what I said about your past, and sorry I’m so bad at being your mate. I hope you can give me time to improve, and I promise I will. Please just don’t reject me,” his eyes were bright and glossy, as if he was holding back tears.

I squeezed his hands. “Juls, I was never going to reject you. I was coming to apologize, too. I thought about it a lot today, and I understand this is complex for you. I want to be there for you, and not pressure you, okay? We’ll do this on your timeline.”

Julien leaned closer to me, resting his forehead on my shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. “Thank you, Grays. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. I was… I was scared I would lose you. Ever since I found out we were mates, and then this morning everything felt like it clicked into place, and then I instantly messed it back up.”

"We both messed this morning up, but we can just start over. I’ll never leave, Juls. I’m all yours. As both your mate and your best friend and a pack leader, I promise I’ll be here,” I vowed.

We stayed that way for a minute, enjoying each other’s company.

“Can you stay with me tonight?” he finally asked, quietly. “I just… really need you.”

“Of course. Anytime you want,” I said, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “I’m going to go set up a bath for you before bed, though. You need to do something calming. You’ve had a long day and you look so exhausted. Just stay here for a minute. I’ll take care of you.” I kissed him on the forehead.

The bathroom in Julien’s guest suite was huge, and as I suspected, there were all the necessary supplies for a nice bath. I turned the water on and added lavender and salts, and some kind of bubbly mixture. While waiting on the bathtub to finish filling, I set out a towel.

“Juls,” I called, once everything was set up. “Come relax for a while.”

I walked out of the bathroom and sat back down on the couch, just as he stood up.

He looked puzzled. “Are you… not coming with me?”

Oh. “I mean… I certainly would if you want me to,” I smirked.

Julien offered me his hand. “Let’s go, before I get nervous and change my mind.”

Well, I wasn’t going to risk that. I quickly stripped down and followed Julien into the bathroom, both of us climbing into the circular bathtub. It was large enough for three or four people, honestly.

Gently, I pulled Julien over to sit between my legs. He didn’t resist, only leaned his head backwards to bury his nose against my neck.

“Let’s not fight all the time, okay?” He asked. I could tell he was still stressed about the last few days. He breathed in deeply before kissing my neck.

“Deal,” I told him. “Now let me help you relax, babe.”

I ran my fingers through his hair and softly traced down his neck. He was so f*****g gorgeous, and so strong. Running my hands up and down his arms, from his shoulders to his fingertips, I tried to memorize as much of him as I could. I slipped my hands over his shoulders to his chest, enjoying how smooth and soft his skin felt.

Julien leaned back against me, his breathing faster. My fingers ran down his sides, brushing his hip bones, stroking his thighs. He tried to bite back a moan, but I nipped his ear. “Don’t hide your noises from me. I always want to hear your sounds, Juls, I like knowing you’re enjoying yourself.”

He nodded quickly. I’m sure he could feel my hardness rubbing against him, but I had a goal, and that wasn’t part of it. I wanted to focus on taking care of him, and making him feel loved.

After a while, I took his hand and led him to the shower to finish cleaning up. He tilted his head back so I could put shampoo in his hair and wash it for him. His hair was so gorgeous. I loved running my fingers through it, and especially when I noticed goosebumps popping up all down his arms as I brushed my fingertips through his dark brown strands.

It seems like our Alpha enjoys being spoiled, Fang chimed in. I smirked at that thought, imagining all the different things I wanted to do for him.

When I was finished with Julien, I quickly cleaned myself, too, and we wrapped up our shower. After we were both dried off and dressed in boxers, we climbed into bed. Julien’s aura was different now, lighter, more content. I snaked one arm around his waist and tucked the other under his head as a pillow. His back was to me, and I only felt mildly guilty about the bulge in my boxers pressing up against his ass.

“Thanks for letting me see you tonight,” I told him. “I really want us to work. I want us to both be happy.”

He cuddled my arm closer to him and hooked his top leg over mine to pull me even closer. “I’m so happy.”

We laid in the darkness like that for a while, and just before I drifted off to sleep, I heard him whisper my name.

“Grays?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Let’s tell them.”

“Tell them what?”

“About us. Let’s tell everyone in the meeting. I’ll want them to keep it a secret for now, but let’s tell our friends first, and then soon, we’ll mark each other, I promise,” he swore.

“Juls, you don’t have to do that. I can wait,” I said honestly.

“No, Grays, I want everyone to know soon. You’re an amazing person and I’m not at all ashamed of you. I only worry about things like being viewed as a weak Alpha or not having a heir, and those are all selfish things that aren’t even based on facts,” he admitted. “I can be just as strong no matter who I love, and we can figure something out about the heir thing. But you deserve someone who will brag about having you as their mate, and I want to be that person for you, not someone who keeps you in the shadows.”

I felt relief flow through me. I did know how he felt about me, logically, but it was still nice to hear him say it out loud in such a kind way.

“Babe, we’ll do whatever you want to do in the morning. I’ll understand either way. Just promise me one thing.”

Julien stiffened slightly. “What’s that?”

I kissed the back of his neck. “Promise me that no matter what, tomorrow night, I’ll get to hold you like this again.”

He rolled over to face me and gave me a long, slow kiss. “I promise, I will be right here in your arms tomorrow night,” Julien vowed. He smiled at me. “I’m so happy you’re my mate.”

“I’m so happy, too, Juls.” I kissed him on the tip of his nose. “Now sleep, we have an early meeting tomorrow.”