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CAT- FAMILY FOR ME?
Family, huh! what I know about the family you ask? Do you really want to know? You won't like my answer. You will only be disappointed with my answer. Because whether you believe it or not, To me family means just some human beings or person who brought you into this world for their own selfish reasons, they had the same genetic structure as you, same blood type, and similar physical properties. And nothing more or less. They needed someone to give meaning to their lives so they brought you into the world. That's it.
You know once when I was a kid about six or seven years old, there was an essay competition in our school. This incident is so engraved on my heart that I can still feel the emotions I felt that day which was more than a decade ago. In that competition, the participants were asked to write essays about their families, like how your parents are, what you like about them, your siblings, etcetera and the winners who had the best essays will get their essays posted in the school's newspaper and website. Of course, I didn't participate in it because I didn't have anything to tell anyone but I read the essays of other students who won the competition on the website. And you know what that was the first time in life when I got to know that having a family is actually a good thing for normal people. For me, the family was just like some people who are licensed to insult embarrass and punish you whenever and however they please.
I've never felt like I can have a normal family like some of my friends do. When I was a little girl maybe around eleven, I use to have a friend, she was very close to me. We were in the same class. Her name was Caroline, her parents were both teachers. I use to visit her house very often. I stayed overnight too. She treated me well and so does her parents. Her parents were a very nice and warm person and The way they treated her was just the opposite of how I was treated at my house. Her mom cooked her favorite food, or whatever she asked for. Her father took her to any place she wants to go, amusement parks, movies. They recited stories for her on her bed. They spend time with her. I couldn't help but be jealous of how lucky she was to have such caring parents. After all, that's only what a kid wants is to get the love of their parents. I never had that in my life. That feeling is still so foreign to me and I think it will always be this way.
Being a kid my father never had time for me. He kept me away from himself. I lived with my butler and a nanny. I once heard him saying that he hated looking at me because I looked like my mother and it reminded him of her and the fact that I was the reason she is dead now. That was the first time I got to know why he treated me differently from my sister. There was a time when I didn't saw him for months, he never bothered seeing me. His secretary gave me his messages and orders if he has any. I was too young to understand what that all means but as I grew up, I can now understand. He hates me and the fact that I am his daughter and he can't get rid of me, he can't change it. So he is keeping me away. No one other than a few people who are closed to dad personally knows about his younger daughter which is me. Everyone knows about my sister but no one knows about me. My father is too ashamed to show me to the world. The way he treated me contradicts to my sister. He is too proud to show her off, her success, but he doesn't give a damn about me. I just wanted to go away from him, to be dead for him. I decided to run away from home once I am eighteen. But somewhere in the way, I got greedy, I wanted his love, I wanted his care.
- Writer
