Falling In love With The Alpha Again

Chapter 7: Gone

Cara's POV

I pressed my back against the tree, my hands trembling as I tried to catch my breath. I planned to give him sleeping medicine tonight so that I could slip into the town after the border to gather information on the Black Moon tribe.

“You can push me away all you want, but I'm staying right here, with you..”

His words echoed in my head, over and over, like a wound that wouldn't stop bleeding.

I slid down to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest. I could hear the sound of my heart, beating in sad rhythms like a heavy load had just been placed upon it. Through the crack under the door, I could see the firelight from the room. Uriel was in there hoping and waiting for me to come back even after I told him I needed air.

The sad look in his eyes when I slipped out of his arms without saying a word to his confession, nor even stare at him in the face.

"You could have handled that better," Mia whispered, her voice low like she could feel his pain.

"No." My voice cracked. "You know I can't. This is the best for both of us."

I forced myself to stand, moving to the small kitchen compartment in the corner. My hands shook as I reached for the jar of sleeping herbs, measuring them into a cup.

"Because of the revenge?" Mia said softly, asking me a question she already had the answer to.

"Because of everything!" I kept my voice low, but the words came out fierce. "My family is dead, Mia. My entire pack was slaughtered like animals. I watched them burn, watched them bleed, and there was nothing I could do, except run like a coward while they died."

Mia's feelings for Uriel were also getting stronger by the day so I understood why she's insisting I give Uriel a chance. But she wasn't there. She didn't see what our tribe went through that night. She didn't understand how much this revenge meant to me.

I stirred the herbs into hot water, watching them dissolve into a mix.

“I might not be there, Cara, but I felt every emotion you felt.” Mia's voice came out strained. I knew she was hurting too. “And besides, you can't keep blaming yourself for what happened. You were just a child…."

"I don't care!"

Tears spilled down my cheeks. Choosing revenge over the love I was starting to feel, it was tearing me apart piece by piece. "I swore to them that I would make the Black Moon Tribe pay. Every single one of them. I can't just... forget that."

“No one is asking you to forget, Cara, that'll be very selfish. But what about him? What about your growing feelings for Uriel? You can't just ignore that. What if he's our mate, will you be acting this way?"

“Well he's not.”

I pressed my palms against my eyes, trying to stop the tears. "He doesn't even know who he is, what if his memories come back and he leaves? What if he remembers a wife, a family, a whole life he left behind?"

I knew those were just pathetic excuses to make the weight of my choice feel less heavy. But I was terrified of opening myself to be left broken again.

"What if he doesn't?" Mia whimpered softly in my head, the thought of losing Uriel heavy on her as much as it was on me. But at this moment, it doesn't matter.

"It doesn't matter, Mia. Get your emotions right." I shut her out and picked up the cup, my hands steadier now despite the ache in my chest.

I've been working toward this for months, I need to go to the village near the border, I need information about the Black Moon Tribe. Their movements, their plans. I've been so caught up with Uriel and the way he makes me feel that I've totally neglected everything else.

I knew he was going to feel hurt when he found out I drugged him.

My throat tightened. I can't risk him following me. The town is dangerous, if anyone recognizes me……

"Then maybe you shouldn't go without him." Mia's insistent voice rose up again.

"I have to." I stared at the dark liquid in the cup, I could feel my sight getting better.

I paused, drawing my brows together.

“Have you been working on my eyes, Mia?” I asked.

“Every night while you were asleep.” she said simply.

“What?”

“You did the same thing to Uriel, I just borrowed a page from your book.”

She wasn’t wrong. I had slipped him sleeping potions disguised as herbal tea. So yeah… she had every right to call me out.

But once my sight is fully restored, none of this will matter. I’ll finally be able to slip into the Black Moon tribe and do what I’ve been training a long time for.

"And Uriel?" Mia asked again, eavesdropping on my thoughts.

I didn't answer. There was no point dragging this out with Mia.

The silence stretched for a moment then I wiped my face roughly and stepped out into the room.

Uriel sat by the fire, whittling a piece of wood with the knife I'd given him. He looked up when I approached, his expression guarded, hope and hurt warred in his eyes.

"I made you tea," I said softly. "For your throat."

He stared at the cup, then at me. "You don't have to keep taking care of me."

"I have to." I said simply, avoiding his piercing gaze. "Please, drink it."

He took the cup slowly, his fingers lingering on mine. "Cara, I meant what I said. Every word."

My chest tightened. I gently withdrew my hand. "I know."

"Do you feel anything for me? Anything at all?" I wanted to lie, I wanted to tell him no, to make him hate me so this would be easier.

But I couldn't.

Instead I found myself urging him to drink up.

"It's going to get cold, Uriel." I stepped back.

He brought the cup to his lips, his gaze never leaving mine. I watched him drain it, watched his eyelids grow heavy, watched confusion cross his face.

"Cara..." His voice slurred. "I feel... strange..."

"It's okay." Tears welled up my eyes. "You're just tired, you need rest."

He tried to stand but his legs gave out. I caught him, lowering him gently to the floor.

"Something's... wrong..." he mumbled, fighting to stay conscious. "What's... happening…what did you—"

"Shh." I brushed his hair back from his forehead, my heart shattering. "Just sleep, you'll feel better when you wake up."

His eyes closed and his breathing evened out, I covered him with a piece of clothing and I sat there for a long moment, just watching him sleep, memorizing the curve of his jaw, the way his lashes rested against his cheeks, he looked handsome even though I couldn't see what exactly he looked like.

I stood, grabbed my coat, and left.

*********

The Town market near the border was crowded when I arrived. I kept my hood up, weaving through people toward the medicine woman shop, an old woman with milky eyes and a loose tongue.

I picked up a pack of tablets, pretending to examine it. "I heard there's been unusual activity lately, strangers passing through."

She leaned forward, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Black Moon Tribe's been sending scouts, their Alpha is hosting some kind of ceremony, looking for beautiful people again to add to his collection.

The pack crumpled in my fist. "His collection?"

"Collects beautiful people like others collect jewels and keeps them in his compound." She shook her head. "He's sent his men out further, expanding his search. They took two people from the next town over just last week, grabbed them right out of their homes." Still rotten through and through.

She looked straight at me and my heart skipped. “You should hide this beautiful face of yours.” She whispered, looking around.

I nodded, placed a coin on her counter and turned away, my mind racing.

Near a produce stall, two women gossiped. "The Black Moon Alpha is offering gold to anyone who brings him someone beautiful enough. Can you imagine? Selling people like cattle."

I moved away, my stomach churning. The sun was beginning its descent as I made my way back through the forest, their words echoing in my head.

The cottage came into view through the trees and my thoughts scattered.

The door was open.

Uriel was awake? Already?

I ran the last few steps. My breath caught as I got inside. The bag I was holding slipped off my fingers.

Uriel was gone.

No.

I called his name as loud as my voice could.

"Uriel?" I shouted, my hands cupped on my mouth but there was no response. Tears welled up my eyes.

The room was almost empty and his things were gone. Fear engulfed me.

"No." My voice came out strangled. "No, no, no."

I searched every corner, every shadow, my panic rising with each empty space. He should still be asleep, the herbs should have kept him unconscious for hours.

"Mia, help me. Please, help me find him." The tears blurred my vision as I kept searching further.

"I'm trying, I can't sense him, He's... he's not here, Cara."

My legs gave out and I collapsed to my knees, sobbing, my chest aching so bad, just like the night I lost my parents. "How? How is he even awake? How did he…"

"Maybe he didn't drink all of it, maybe he suspected something and only pretended."

The memory flashed back, the way he looked at me as he drained the cup. Had he known before he drank it? Had he seen through me that easily?

The blanket I'd draped over him was crumpled on the floor, the fire had long since died and Uriel, Uriel was nowhere to be found.

"No." My voice came out strangled.

"Cara…." Mia started.

"He was supposed to be asleep! The herbs should have kept him out for hours!" My voice cracked as panic clawed up my throat.

I tore out of the cabin, my heart hammering.

"Uriel!" I screamed into the forest. "Uriel, where are you?"

There was nothing, no sign of him.

I refused to believe he was gone.

He said he was never leaving me.

I searched until my legs gave out, until my voice was bare. I combed through every path, every clearing, every place we'd walked together but there was no trace of him.

The night turned into dawn, and there was still nothing. Another day passed in desperate searching, another night of collapsing against trees, forcing myself back up.

On the third morning, I woke up slumped against a tree trunk, and blinked.

I could see.

"Mia," I breathed, staring at my hands. Everything was sharp, clear, vivid, different from how it looked through my thermal vision. "My sight..."

"It's fully restored," she said quietly.

Uriel would be so happy if he finds out my vision is back. I can finally see what he looks like now.

The excitement didn't last as I remembered he was gone.

"I can search better now, I can find him…"

"Cara,” Mia called softly, “we need to talk about what you learned in the village."

"Not now!" I stood, ready to continue searching.

“You heard those people, the Alpha of the Black moon tribe is gathering beautiful people.”

I kept walking. "I don't care."

"This is your chance, the chance you've been waiting for."

"I have to find Uriel first."

"You've searched for three days—no footprints, no blood, no signs of struggle. Either he left on his own, or whoever took him is long gone."

"Then I keep searching," I said stubbornly.

"For how long? Another week? A month? What happens when this opportunity passes?"

"You don't understand…"

"No one understands the situation better than me Cara,” her voice was sharp. “But this might be your only way of getting close to the black moon Tribe like you've always wanted."

I closed my eyes, feeling both choices crushing down on me. But Mia was right, I couldn't search forever.

I pressed my palms against my eyes. "What if something happened to him because of me?"

"Or what if he simply left?"

No, he promised he wouldn't leave me. He said he meant it.

Then let's get this revenge over it and search for him properly.

Finally, my hands shaking, I went into the room and pulled out parchment and charcoal.

Uriel,

If you see this, please wait for me here. I will come back for you, I promise.

—Cara

I left the note on the table, pressing it down with a stone, and walked out the door.

I have a mission to accomplish .