The price of the forbidden feelings

Ivy and Stan felt from the first moment they met- the sparkle was there. Their love escalated quickly, they didn't even notice when it got under their skin. For months they were sneaking from their homes and secretly finding ways to spend time together. Even if it is just a look shared between their eyes in the crowd, they felt fulfilled and happy. Small talks through short walks on streets by the steps taken "accidentally" one by another.Slippery smiles. Everything he said seems to be funny, even the silliest jokes were the funniest thing in the world. Every minute was priceless for them. Every day spent apart felt like eternity. It look like a true love story. Every single time, even the thought of each other make theirs hearts bumping so hard and fast as they were about to escape from their chests. How can you stop the bumping heart, and give an order to stop to feel? They just swam with the flow of their emotions. Innocent and unconscious for the future of them selfs. They were trying to be ignorant of the dark truth that all of this was forbidden feelings. But the breaks of their parents were heavy like mountains and they were always pulling back. Smaking them every time like a slap in the face. Only arranged meetings by the family were allowed. Ivy was raised in strict control by her father, traditional maners, well educated, and her family was financially stable so it has taken care of her every single need. There was only one bit of a problem: she was lonley and had no one to open her hart to and let the river of thoughts and feelings out. No one took care on her inside, no one asked her how is she feeling. Her parents were cold and serious people. The silly feelings of falling in love were forbidden. Stan's family - the Nikolov felt humiliated and offended by Ivy's family - the Romanov who were too strict and determined that this boy Stan was not worthy of them. He couldn't maintain their standards. Not only because the Nikolov family were poor, not educated in royal schools, but also there were rumors that Stan's mother is unfaithful to his father just because she was seen not once, but twice, laughing and talking with some unknown man at the market in the absence of her husband. So Mr.Romanov experienced that as unacceptable behavior. In that time, in that town, the only aseptable woman's behavior was in the home taking care of the kids, doing all the housework and shores by herself alone, and going outside of the house only accompanied by her husband. But Mr.Nikolov did not want to be submissive and he was too proud. He promised to himself that he would never consent to his son asking for Ivy's hand from her father. He rather give himself the hardest punishment. He once said to Stan: "If I ever lose my mind and do that, please God don't forget make lightning to strike me! Let my life end better than see that!" He would never change his mind. On the other side Stan was poor boy, helping to his father's work in order to earn some extra money. He was cultured, respectful, super nice, sweet and funny guy who just fell in love on first sight with Ivy... but never had a clue what he is getting in to, nor worrying about his or even their future. He hasn't very much to offer except his love and affection. Oh and Ivy ... no one gave her a moment to hear her opinion, nor was she ever allowed to talk about her feelings. She was so fragile. In her eyes Stan was the perfection of a boy. For her, he was the kindest and sweetest, not considering she barely knows him. One peacefully afternoon, sitting on the table after finishing the family lunch, she tough it would be a perfect situation to try bring the "Stan theme" on the table: "It was so lovely day... I would like to go to the market later, some of the kitchen supplies are already used up... If you allow father..." said Ivy, with unsure voice. Her father just nodded his head in sign of appointment, so Ivy tried to continue: "After that I would like to take turn to that silver jewelry shop on the corner..." her father immediately pointed his look in her, and furrowed his brows in anticipation of what she would say next... Ivy started to stuttering, but she put a smile with shyness: "You know, the boy which helps in the work there... Stan... He is very kind, and I find it funny how he....." the sentence was interrupted by the cracking of her father's hand on the table, he was strict: "I do not even want to hear his name! I know what are you trying do do here... You need to learn to control your emotions like a lady! I don’t want you to be ridiculed, shamed and humiliated in our city! Everyone knows us, we are a famous family, they will gossip... you must not let the people find out that you have fallen in love with this clown of a boy!"- Her father was yelling from the bottom of his feet. He continued to yell till the roof didn't start shaking: "You have to maintain the status of being a housewife and a home-educated girl, ready to birth and raise children and take good care of the home and your family in the future! I don’t want my daughter to be pointed with a finger and be the one people talk about that she goes to bed with whomever she wants, like a little slut who can't hold her legs together! Who will marry you later, if you are torn between your legs!? No one will want to take you to their family as a bride if you have been touched by another man before!!! Don't you dare ruin yourself!" Mr.Romanov was already red-faced with veins pulsing on his face. Ivy was shaking in fear. "What a shame!- He continued- I don’t even want to think about it! Now get out of my sight before I start hitting you!” Her father was decisive. And her mother just kept quiet. She was feeling guilt and shame, because of the behavior of her daughter. She raised her to respect her father who is the "head of the family". After her husband leave the room, she immediately run to the window to make her self sure that the neighbors weren't got together under, in front of their house, to listen the fight, for how they can later gossip around the neighborhood. Ivy was sick of that, but didn’t have any choice but just to bow her head down, stiffened her jaw, clenched her tongue with her teeth so she didn't even get a word out of her mouth... like usual... and then quietly locked herself in her small room, which choked her on more and more. She closed the anger in her soul and swallowed it like wormwood. The pillows were already too wet from her tears. She felt like she wanted to get out of her own skin. Oh, this pain was enormously big, she couldn't take it anymore. There was no place for her in this world. What could she do? She was in her young 18s. Hormones raged in her. No man had ever kissed her till then. He was her first ever love. Her first physical contact with a man and her first passion. She could feel the tornado of warm and sweet emotions in her stomach every time she thought of him. And "that" appearing to her father and the society, was a big sin already. But the more the fruit was forbidden, the more attractive, the more desirable it was. After all, despite the great pressure and bans, Ivy could not give it up. The heart didn't wanna know what the mind had to say. She didn't want to accept this nonsense of society's restrictions and condemnations. Ivy took every risk to just see him again and feel his kisses and touches, just to melt in his arms, wishing it would last forever. She didn't wanna think about the reasons why her father is like that, she just wanted this forbidding of love and true feelings to end. Tuesday was the day when they meet each other. Ivy waited impatiently for Stan to show up at their favorite hiding place by the old school building in the evening. Her soul was trembling like a little rabbit, a flame was burning in her hazel eyes, her whole body was overwhelmed with excitement, she could only think of his black deep eyes and his juicy lips... Forgot her reality surrounding. She just wanted to be entirely his, with all the parts of her body. And no, she did not even want to think about the end of this secret relationship, but also didn't have any idea of how she would proceed with this, and what if her father found out? ...Heartbeats were getting stronger and faster as her heart was beating in the rhythm of his rapid steps as she heard him approaching from the corner of a neglected building. Finally together! Stan grabbed her tightly without hesitation. And time has stopped. It seemed that they could stand like that for eternity. For a moment everything disappeared again and only those two were here alone. "..Ivy" Stan looked at her gently, placing her palms on her blushing cheeks in excitement "I can no longer hide. My love for you drives me crazy. Please let me talk to your father, maybe I can convince him..." Ivy was startled for a moment and slammed to reality, in a second of time she was overcome by fear and revolt at the same time... she felt like someone had by surprise showered her with an ice cold water. "No… wait... please don't... I don't know... Look, of course I want ... but ... I think that things can only change for the worse. My father would get out of control.” Ivy tried to clear her mind. Stan was desperately trying to find a solution: "My dear, I would like to fly somewhere far away with you only, but I have nowhere to take you except my parent’s small modest house, and you know my parents will not accept such a marriage without the blessing of your parents. Either way, I have no money right away to provide you with a home somewhere far away from here where we can live happily alone… I'll need to find a good job to provide the necessary conditions for starting a family and home. Until then… will we survive like this? I promise I will do everything for you!" Ivy wasn't thinking anymore. It felt like an unsolving riddle. She started drowning in his eyes, loosing up, just burning in a desire to be completely his. She answered without hesitation: "Yes, I will wait patiently. I'll do anything for you, my only love! I don't want anything else in my life!" as she takes his hands on her heart. "Now I have to go, my father will arrive earlier from work, he must not see that I am gone, he will go crazy." She kissed him passionately and for a just a moment sank into the fire of their love. He couldn't control his hands anymore as Ivy started to melt in them. They were slowly and gently going lower through her back down to her tiny waist as he started to approach her hips, grabbing her butt and kneading it like dough. His lips went through her neck down to her chest. Her skin was all prickling. The breathing was faster and deeper, and their hearts were popping out of their chests. The flames between her trembling legs started to burn her whole body. Her panties were already all wet as she was falling into a temptation to feel his body completely naked on hers. Just when they were sunken in another dimension the deep kiss was stopped by the ringing of the clock tower by the river down by the bay. Ivy sighed and opened her eyes: “Oh Stan, I have to go!" Quickly setting down her black shaggy hair and taking back her twisted clothes in place. "Goodbye, my dear! On Friday my parents will go to the countryside for work. We can meet again in the same place at the same time, we can spend more time together." shouted Ivy running down to the path. "I look forward to seeing you, can't wait!" еxclaimed Stan, then took a deep breath and murmured, "Damn it! I wish I could steal you, grab you and take you to a safe place, out of this jail of a city, just the two of us." Stan stood a little longer in that spot. In the back of his mind he started to doubt, can he really maintain that promise... He was still young and bold, didn't have much of a experience of the life. His parents were poor, and offended by Ivy’s family, didn't have the support of that side either. Didn't really have a clue what to do. It was there for sure, the enormous flow of love emotions. Which were forbidden... So it startet to stir... with some unpleasant feelings. He just wanted to ignore that bad feeling... Suddenly the barks of the street dogs interrupted his thoughts. Just realized half an hour have past since Ivy left, so its time to run back home. This feelings will remain buried here for a while. The days passed as if they were endless. Hours were passing by like centuries. Ivy waited for Friday like a drop of water in the desert. There was no end to the housework, and she worked frantically in absentia. It was wednesday already. Her mother noticed her absence in her eyes, shook her hand, and spoke, clenching her teeth: "Look, young girl, I know that absent look. You are thinking of him again, don’t you? You filthy girl!" Ivy suddenly stopped her: "Ohh Mom, please! How can you use such a word! What is the big deal ypu are making of falling in love with someone I like?! Didn't you fell in love with dad before you get married?" Her mother got tangled up because of that question, didn't expect... actually never asked her before... but for a second pulled herself together, and continued: " hmh... Watch your words young lady! Don't try to change the subject. Don’t you dare embarrass our family! You need to maintain your dignity! This is a small town, and there is already gossip that you are in a relationship with that worthless rat! Is it true?! " Ivy looked her in the eyes with anger but did not dare to speak. She just kept swallowing her words. After a moment of silence, her mother muttered: "Pray to God that your father does not find out... You know where you will end up! You better finish that story right away!” She got up angrily and slammed the door as she left the room. Ivy set down slowly, full with anger, wanted to scream out the pain in the chest. She didn't even get the chance to talk about that. One thing started to go around in her head: what if she break the boundaries? Why it has to be so difficult, it is just a true and pure love feelings? Why they have to be forbidden? Maybe her parents will have no choice but to accept that... If she just let her heart leading. She really was tearing apart between the anger, sadness her parent and her love. The next day came. Ivy helped her mother in the kitchen to prepare breakfast. It was quite silent for a while. Than Ivy picked up some courage to ask her mother: "Mom... I was wondering... How you and Dad met? I've never talked for that theme with you before..." Her mother picked the head up and looked in Ivy’s eyes with surprise: "Well..." she stoped the work, and slowly sat on the closest chair, and continued with proud and calm voice: "My parents were good educated people, they have had a bakery, fields with grains, they were producing flour... and we were familiar family in our village. Your father's family were also good and kind people, your grandmother was a teacher in the primary school and your grandfather was market trader... and they had this beautiful big house in the city, where we are living now." Ivy looked her mother weird, and asked right away: "Why does it even matter, the families statuses... it's different things..." Her mother interrupted her by continuing her sentence: "It is very important indeed... they have known each other for a while, my father and his, and since we were little from time to time our families would wisit each other, and since we were close to years of oldnes, I was a good raised girl, from good family, they made a deal to merry us when the time will be right. I was a good choice and he was the right choice for me, the both families approved. So I knew since I was 10 years old, that when the time will come that my feature husband will be your father. So I waited till then, to meet him from closer, my one and only man, my destiny. So the desire was there for sure, since I never met a guy before him, I never even had a chance, so he was the only known term for men for me... eater way... see now that is the problem with you nowadays young generations. You have too many opportunities, you have too many freedom, and think you are smart enough to choose your future husband but your only driven by your emotions... You let your eyes first make a decision and after that your heart, and your desire... and all that silly emotions... and after the emotions will end and the serios problems will appear... but you are not even aware of that. Because the love is blind..." Ivy interrupted her: "But mom, isn't the love most important for two people leave together happily..." Her mom continues with higher voice: "Young girl, if you don't control your feelings, they will lead you to make a stupid decisions. When you onece try from the nectar of passion, you will not be able to stop yourself from desireing for more... and there is a reason why these sweet love feelings are forbidden for you to go deeper, while you are still not able to make a right decision, the price of experience them could be high, we could not take. Now tell me smart girl, that boy, that you think you love now... what have to offer to you? Just some good feelings? Can he offer a good home, provide a good and financially stable life for you and for your future children? What does he knows to work?..." There was a silence for a few moments. Ivy was trying to find a words, but her mother ended the conversation, she stand up, and continued to serve the breakfast: " You don't have to answer me now. Just think good about these questions. Before you even make some stupid move, and pay the price to the forbidden feelings later..." Ivy just like a shot from a gun posed a completely unexpected question: "But do you love him? Are you happy? What is the meaning of happy life? Sory for noticing but to me you both look like two cold stones without feelings between, just two partners who maintain a good family managment..." Just in that moment when her mom wanted to open her heart and talk even more, Ivy’s father came in, and they both shut their mouths immediately. Her father notice the wird silence, but didn’t said a word. Her mother immediately put a gentle smile on her face: "Breakfast is all ready. Let's eat, we have plenty of work to do today!" So everything stayed unspoken again. The day passed somehow. The night was full of endless thoughts. Ivy didn’t even slept. She was trying to find a justification for her feelings and her love. Her mother words sounded to her like nonsense. What kind of price she is talking about, what that even means? The love haven't got a price! She didn't wanna accept anything her mother explained. Finaly friday came. Ivy was already impatient. Early in the morning, her parents were getting ready silently to go to the village. Her mother packed up and helped her husband get dressed when he whispered to Ivy with relief in his deep voice: "Dear daughter, I know you are already looking forward to meeting the man of your life…" For a moment Ivy was filled with hope and happiness: "Did he really change his mind? My God, is it possible that he accepts Stan?! ” She thought to herself but did not say a word, just stared at her father without blinking, waiting for his thought to end, a shy smile curved on her face. Mr. Nikolov continued in a sublime voice: "I want to give my daughter to an honest, decent, and rich family. I will not allow some worthless boy to flatter her! That kind of things it does not suit you! You are worth a lot more, you're coming from a good standing family and everyone should know his place. So dear daughter I have already found you a worthy candidate for a husband. Tall, strong, smart, and from a rich family, merchants, his name is Tom. What else do you need from a men? Right? This is a good and smart choice. He will take good care of you! Tomorrow morning I will send a message to his parents, to arrange a meeting." Ivy felt like someone had stabbed her. He started stuttering "But Dad I... Wait a minute… No one asked me… And who is that man? I don’t even know him! What if I do not love him? Or maybe we will not like each other at all… I don’t want to live a life like that!" Ivy couldn’t hold her tears anymore "How can you be so heartless?! I’m not just an item! What am I for you? Just a machine for birth of children, so you can give me just like that? I have soul and feelings. This is too cruel! ” "Enough!!!" shouted her father. "Who are you to decide?! What do you understand? What do you know about life? I have raised you, I fed you, I educated you, I have given you home until now! And I will decide where you will end up! The time has come! Since your ass started to move around a lot, it’s time to settle you down. Your place is not under the father's eaves! You will make your own nest, but in a dignified family!" For a moment he turned to leave, but in a second turned back to Ivy's face and squeezed her hand: "Pray to God to be accepted. Do not embarrass me anymore squabbling around with anyone you reach! Now go back to sweeping, you seem to have too much free time!” Ivy must not speak anymore. If his father spoke another more word, he would be furious! She was scared and just swallowed the hot tears and looked at him with hatred. She had no choice but to swallow the pain like bitter wormwood again and to remain silent. Mr.Nikolov went angry but with a tought that he showed her the right place and that conversation will make her mind right. He couldn't accept his daughter to make some wrong step opposite to his orders. Ivy fell on the floor in pain. She couldn’t accept marrying someone else unknown to her and leaving Stan. Bitter tears continued to flow down her cheeks like a river. Her soul was torn into 1000 pieces and she persistently collected it piece by piece and tried to put it together. She felt helpless and didn't want to exist anymore. Just sat on the floor for hours drowning in her saddens, didn't even notice that noon has come. Ivy picked up strength to recovered herself, got ready, and slowly stepped towards the hiding place by the old abandoned building next to the big acacias near the river. She did not run with excitement as before. Her parents' words tangled around her legs, breaking her every step of the way, intertwining on her body, squeezing her around her chest. She could not breathe, she was choking from the pain. In her mind, her father's sentences were repeated over and over again. But only Stan was in front of her eyes. How would she tell him?? Is it time to run away with him? But where? Ohh so many dead ends… What is the wrong and what is the right choice? Stan waited impatiently. He didn’t wait any minute, he grabbed her in hugs immediately as he saw her. He couldn't resist to her. In his eyes Ivy has a beauty of a goddess. But now Ivy was just standing there like a live dead man unable to move. Ivy wanted to speak, but tears overtook her. "My father..." her words could hardly be understood. "What about your father? What happened to him?” asked Stan in astonishment. He got a darkest toughts in that moment of waiting to hear everything. Ivy just kept trembling in tears, lacking the strength to utter the heavy words. She didn not wanted say goodbye to him under any conditions. Stan was trying to calm her down, and after a few moments, she tried to speak again: “He wants to... arranged meeting... marry me... to some other man... I don’t even know who he is… He just kept saying that is the right choice...” Stan jumped: “No! He can't do that! I will go and strangle him with my bare hands!” But Ivy stopped him, kneeling in front of him, saying: “Whait! Please don’t do anything stupid… Just take me please, wherever you want, I’m not going back home, my father will arrange a meeting with that family tomorrow, and I don’t want to be there! I can’t imagine living a life without you!”. Stan fell on his knees and hugged Ivy very hard, taking her in his lap. "I love you!" whispered Stan. "Where would we go? Where would I take you? I have to think good, tomorrow morning will be the last chance to get away..." Stan was trying to find a clue. The tears from Ivy’s eyes were unstoppable. It feels like the love of those two was melting all the pain in that hug. Ivy gently lay down her head on his chest searching for her peace. They kept cuddling down by the tree, till the silence was cut by Ivy’s words: “Even if this is my last night with you, give me a memory that can last forever! Just take me by the hand while we do what lovers do, because It matters how this will end… what if I never love again?” Stan stopped her immediately, took his finger on her mouth: “There is no such a thing as last night, I will never give up on you!” Ivy cut his words when she started gently biting and kissing his lips: “I’ll be yours forever, no matter what. Remember that.” The words no longer had any need to be spoken since the flame started to burn and passion overtake them again… As Stan poled Ivy over him, sucking her lips, grabbing her around the waist and hips, she completely surrendered to him and they no longer wanted to think about tomorrow. Nothing matters to them anymore, at that moment they both knew nothing is going to stop them to lose themselves in the abyss of the desire. The mind was shutdown. Only emotions and passion now were on, to the highest level. The kisses felt like they were about to eat themselves. Stan slowly unbuttoned her shirt, one button by another continuously kissing her from the neck through her chest to the bellybutton. Ivy now completely lost her mind and control on her body. Her whole body was on fire and she wanted him closer to her more than ever before. They both never felt that feeling before, from that point on more they couldn't stop themselves for their future actions. Ivy for a moment tried to be sober and take a control of the situation. The toughts about "is this the right thing to do" , "What abot someone finds out", etc quickly came in her head, and quickly fadeout, as she couldn't resist on Stan's sweet and gentle touches all over her naked skin, that she eater way didn't wanna stop. Stan put her fingers trough her hair, grabbing gently her head and neck as passionately continues to kiss her under her ears, and next thing she knew his face was all over her brests. They were all bristly. As he licks them and gently squeeze them, Ivy turnd on even more and felt how warm liquids wet her panties. That drove her crazy. She pooled her body in to his and grabbed his hips with her legs around him so she felt the tension between his legs, he was hard and ready. It was the first time to go that far for the both of them. They just drove to the flow of the feelings.