A Walk to the Moon

“Cheers!!” shouted from the people in the table next to us here in the bar. As they clink their glasses with booze on it. I think they are celebrating something. It was so dark and different lights and lasers were dashing that it made me somehow dizzy. It is so crowded with loud DJ Music that has been bothering my eardrums since the time I got here. But I can’t blame them since this is a typical bar. I am not the God so that I can change this place into something I want. Other people might enjoy this place but not for me. I hate bars as f*ck but I don’t know the reason, it might sound crazy for you but, I don’t care anymore. I should be having a rest now from a very long flight from Canada to the Philippines. But my friends were very eager to meet me since it has been a long six years since the last time we saw each other. Wait — no, it is the last time they saw me, when me and my mom migrated to live with my dad in Canada, but unfortunately my mom got divorced with my dad for some common reasons – affairs. “Hey guys! Put some booze in your glass and let's cheer for Elixir’s comeback!” a friend of mine excitedly ordered my other friends. Well, our pack has accommodated a sum of two tables with eight people in each. In which seven of them were originally my friends and the rest were uninvited by me, but they were invited by my friends, mostly their chicks. Now they are now loading their glasses with so called booze while I am enjoying my favorite non-alcoholic drink. Because to be honest I am not a fan of drinking alcoholic drinks and getting drunk, being drunk is too hard for me and I can say that it is one of the most awful things that happened in my life. “Elixir! Give me your glass!” Jhaemiel said, one of my transgender friends and the one who is the mastermind of all the happenings tonight. “No! I am not drinking any alcoholic drink, Jamie.” I shouted in the midst of the loud music in the bar. I call her Jamie because it is her want since Jamie sounds like a good name for a girl. “Come on! Dear give me your glass.” she said and she’s trying to reach on my precious glass. But she can’t. But instead, my other friend was the one who reached for my glass without me knowing. And he is Jonathan, ‘Jona’ for short. A very energetic gay-man friend I have. I gave him the sharpest look I have, but instead of him getting afraid of my sharp eyes. “Rawr!!” and unknowingly he depicts a roaring lion and I was the one who got afraid because of his ugly face. And after a couple of seconds my glass has already had a booze on it. And my favorite sprite with yakult drink was wasted and it was the most terrifying thing. “Okay okay guys! Let’s all rise.” again, Jamie ordered our pack as if she’s a priest from a catholic church with matching rising his glass full of booze. She’s been getting crazy and drawing the attention of other people. Well, that’s the perks of having friends who live under the rainbow. They always tend to put smile and laughter on human’s face, unless if that person was homophobic that don’t support the people who lives under the rainbow. “This toast is for our dearest friend who came back from the land of Maple Tree after a fuckin’ 6 long years. Welcome back Elixir! Cheers!” a brief intro of Jamie that caught several people. “Cheers!” after which our pack shouted and clinked our glasses. With me wearing an against look as if I do really want to drink this booze in my hand. I was just about to take a sip of it just to show my other friends that I am being with them, not being boring or kj (killjoy) but this piranha friend of mine and yes i was pertaining to Jona that is in front of me, suddenly pushed the glass all the way through until I drank all the bitter with a touch of sweet drink in my glass. He looked at me and laughed slightly, I know he is laughing because of me drinking the booze even though I don’t. After that Jamie reaches onto Jona and they give each other a high-five. Just wait Jona I am going to kill you soon! After that toast for me everything went to normal, well I do really appreciate that toast for me since it feels like there are really people who wants to see me when I came back here, they made me feel I am loved and welcome not because I use to grew on Canada but it is because I was their dearest friend. Right now, they are doing their own things and I am not bothering them and I’m just busy scrolling through my phone. My friends from Canada who are pure blooded Filipinos or those who grew up here are asking for any Filipino snacks as pasalubong for them through my social media accounts. Well, I know pasalubong is not a thing in other countries but in the Philippines, it is. While seeing my friends enjoying themselves I decided to sneak out of the pack and get out of the bar because I was really suffocated and dizzy with the changing lights in the darkness. Well, my friends and company didn’t notice that I left them there. But it doesn’t mean I’m really going to leave them there because I told them they can enjoy themselves as much as they could because it is my treat. As I reached outside the bar my skin felt the cold breeze of the night, the moon was up in the night sky with its full phase. It was too good to look at it with the billion shining stars around it. But then I was thinking of a thing I can do here, I unknowingly got out of the place without any plans. And not being over exaggerated, I already felt my cheeks were becoming hot. And I know it is because of the booze I drank a while ago. Finally, my eyes met a very bright place and as I looked more into it, I became more excited as I saw a convenience store where I can buy things I want. I started walking, towards it, it is too near that can be good for a walk. But right after I took several more steps, and right before I could reach the convenience store, my eyes met a street food vendor. I know it is already late at night. But this street food can be sold during this time. My choice from convenience store to street food changed quickly since I am really craving for any street foods I used to eat before. An old woman approached me with a smile on her face. Maybe she was happy to see that she has a customer right now to buy her goods. Since I am a kind kid, I gave her my very rare polite smile too since her smile is too warm. But after that I looked into her goods and I can see she’s selling the things I am expecting to see. “What do you want ijo?” she asked. Being called ijo by old people is too good to hear. Because in Canada they don’t call me that even my own mother who is a pure blooded Filipino, and they only call me by my name. Unless, if I talk to some old Filipino people in Canada they would call me ijo. “Grandma, I want this.” I said and pointed at the egg being cooked in steaming hot water covered with plastic to trap the heat of the steam.. I still remember how my mom teached me how to eat balut. It is still vivid in my memories,  I can still imagine how she eats that cooked developing duck inside the egg. I was really afraid of it before. But when it reached my taste buds. My world has changed. “Do you know how to eat this?” the old woman asked and she gave me the balut with some paper since this egg was too hot to handle. “Yes grandma, I know how to eat this delicacy.”  “Wow! You must love the Philippines that much huh?” she said with a smile. I started to c***k the upper part of the egg by hitting it onto a solid surface since the eggshell of this food is kinda sturdy unlike the normal egg. “Well I am a Filipino-Canadian, and I grew up most of my early days here. But my mom and I migrated to Canada six years ago.” I politely said. After that I was able to slurp into the egg I was opening a while back. Until I enjoyed eating them, and same with I enjoyed talking with grandma by sharing each other's own story. Well maybe this is the main enjoyment of eating this kind of street food. Devouring it while having a good talk with someone. After a long minutes I unknowingly consumed five baluts. Well I can’t help myself when I am craving something most importantly if it is a food from the place you grew up with. “Grandma, how much do I owe you?” I asked and I reached for my wallet inside one of the pockets of my jeans. “You ate five and it is ₽30 each. That would be ₽150 ($2.95) total.” When I was about to pay and took a glimpse of my wallet. I was afraid I couldn't pay grandma for what I ate. She was still smiling at me  and obviously waiting for my payment but I was already thinking of a way to pay her. Because I remember I do not have any Philippine Money yet and all I have is my card. “Ahhhh.” I stammered, ” Grandma?” I continued and gave her the most nervously smile I could give. “Yes ijo?” “I do not have any money right now. Do you perhaps accept cards?” I asked. I was just hoping that she could understand my situation. But I was wrong all along. I watched her remove her apron and reached for something under a table. It was a long stick, and I was not wrong about what I was thinking -- it was a baseball bat. “Grandma.” I said politely but she’s not listening to me now. She is slowly walking towards me and rustling the metal baseball bat on the floor. She pulled up the baseball bat and shouted. “ARE YOU GOING TO PAY OR NOT?! YOU PIECE OF s**t!” she shouted and about to swing the bat she is holding. Fortunately someone did stop her. Someone came from her back. I looked into him. He was wearing black hoodie, with thrashed and semi-fitted blue navy jeans with the common black old skool vans as his shoes. And based on his appearance it seems like we are the same age. He was too handsome. His figure is too perfect to describe. His hair, face, body figure, and even his smell is too perfect. Plus his taste for fashion looks so neat. He can be a great epitome of the clean handsome boy that every girl would go crazy for. “Grandma?!” he said. And now I was able to hear his angelic voice. “Let me go! I will never let a shameless boy run away again, I will beat him to pulp!” grandma was really angry now. She’s still in the posture of swinging the baseball bat to me, while this boy who came out of the blue is still not letting off the bat because anytime grandma might hit me in the head. The boy looked into me with his killing look. As if that look could kill someone. His looks could  kill someone rather than his terrifying looks. “Hey you!” he said and nodded his head “pay her or else I will let this old woman to yeet on you.” he continued and I looked at the angry grandma, she was so determined to hit me when this boy beside him would let him. “Okay look, I don’t really have any money.” I calmly said and revealed what’s inside my wallet “I recently came from Canada and I didn’t have any time to withdraw any money. Do you know any online ATM so that I can withdraw money” I said. “See? It seems like he does have his reason. So stop being angry you old woman, you might end up dying with high blood pressure.” he said in a sassy way as if these two were close friends. The boy managed to get the baseball bat from grandma, and the old woman was able to get back to her place, calmly. But then, this boy in front of me suddenly pulled the baseball bat and pointed it at my neck. I was shocked as if my soul had already left my body. He was looking at me as if he didn't trust me. Maybe he just convinced grandma so that she would not get tired of getting angry with me since she was already working his body on selling her goods. “You're dead, you shameless brat!” Grandma said and sat calmly on her throne as if she didn't care about my situation or what’s happening in front of her right now. “So how do you wish to pay?” I don’t really know what to say. Can I say? Can I pay with my body? But I was too careful since not all of the people here in the Philippines know my gender identity. Even my friends who’s getting drunk in the bar didn’t know the real me. I know you might wonder, why do I have transgender friends if I look straight in the eye of other people. Well, in the time when I left Philippines my friends look so cool as a gay wearing a mans clothes but in the span of six years many things has changed that includes our gender identity. “Bro, calm down first, okay? I told you I do not have any bills, maybe you can lead me to some Online ATM here?” I said and I pushed the baseball bat aside and showed him that I was sincere and a good man that is willing to pay for what I have got. “You came from the bar right? I smelled your perfume a while back there so I am familiar with it.” I lied. But I hope my instinct and drama will turn out well. “Yes. Why?” “ Well I have a friend there that was actually drinking. Maybe you can lend me some money and I will pay it there.” I suggested and I can see him being convinced,  “or maybe you can come with me and get the payment. I know grandma trusts you.” “Don’t call me grandma! This brat!” I just didn’t expect my cravings would end me up being hated by an old woman. But then the boy agreed to follow me in the bar so that I can borrow money from my friends. “Grandma, I'll be right back. Lemme just borrow this bat so that if this man would run away I would gonna bonk his head.” “Sure do what you want dear! Perhaps you can bonk both of his heads too hahahaha.” and that would be the very unexpected laugh and joke from grandma. I started walking towards the bar now and because of this little incident I already forgot that I have been eating balut. And because of the balut I was nearly hit by a bat. While I am walking, this unnamed boy is following me as usual. It was too awkward that someone was following me with a bat. It seems like anytime he would abduct me. And to make this awkward moment pass now I walked faster from my normal walking. Until we reached the bar, and the bouncer stopped me and asked something. “Are you from VIP?” he asked because I was taking the entrance for VIPS but right after I would brag about my stamp to him, he noticed the boy who’s following me. “Hey bro! Aren’t you coming inside?” the bouncer asked as if this guy without a name is a loyal customer here. “No, but I have a business with that man in front of you.” he said and pointed at me with the baseball bat he was holding. After that I showed my stamp to the bouncer and let me in and hurriedly ran towards my friends and in my highest degree of shock my friends were already knocked out by the booze except for those chicks they have that are having some party at the other table. Since I was too desperate to pay I searched the bags of my friends and yes! I was able to get ₱200 ($4.0) from their pouches. I hurriedly ran back towards the bar and left my friends unconscious. I will bring them home later after I paid my credit so nevermind them. But when I reached outside, the boy disappeared and the bouncer who asked for my stamp a while back isn’t here now and it is now different. So I am going back to the angry grandma again so that I can clean my name from his bad boy list. But right after I would take my second step someone whistled and it got my attention and took a glimpse out of it. And it was the boy I was looking for. And I have never wasted time and I run hurriedly towards him. But when I reached the place where he is now he was sitting on a bench holding some cigarettes. “Here.” I said and gave him the money I owe, “ and please say sorry to grandma.” “Don’t be sorry. And just come back again to her store and satisfy your cravings there. That would really mean a lot to her….. and me.” he said and sounded like they were a family. He sounded so sincere when he said those words to me. I was about to leave him sitting on the bench but then he suddenly speaked and the reason why I had stopped. “Can you stay here for a while?” he asked. I was not expecting that question coming from a stranger like him. I hope he does not have any bad plans for me. But I know he is a kind person. So I never did speak again and sat beside him, with the baseball bat dividing our middle. He took out his lighter out of his hoodie pocket and lit up his cigarette that was clinging in his nice lips. Maybe this can help him with his personal problems. Because I was smoking too sometimes if I am very stressed with something. “Do you smoke?” he asked and offered a cigarette. “Ahm. Yes.” I replied back and shyly reached out for a single stick of cigarette and clinged it on my lips. And I was about to reach and asked for his lighter, but he suddenly lit up the lighter where my cigarette was. His gesture showed that he was too gentlemanly. The way he moves and so on. That makes him more attractive. But when we were in the midst of smoking he suddenly speaked. “I am sorry,” he said out of nowhere. I didn’t know why he was sorry. But I didn’t ask him and I just showed him my ‘not sure’ face since I wasn’t sure why he was apologizing. “I am sorry if I frightened you, that’s what I mean. '' well then he was able to read my face, ”I was really a kind person if a person is kind to me too.” he said and he continued on smoking his cigarette. “Then may I ask, why were you so fierce back then?” “Well,” he said and coughed out of his itchy throat -- maybe? “She’s been selling there for years already and you know, many drunk assholes from this bar would not pay and it was really hard to earn money in this country.” he explained, and now I already know the reason why grandma has this baseball and acted like that a while ago. “We are not family related but she was the best person who became part of my life. And I considered her as one of my family. That’s why I could help her with anything I can do to pay for her kindness when I need her the most.” and with this I was so touched. That the grandma who is shouting at me is too kind to other people. “Then do you trust me? Why are you smoking with a stranger like me” I asked. “Well, smoking alone is bad. Smoking with someone that is a good person is too good, even though they are strangers. That’s my philosophy.” I think somehow this boy with me is crazy. After that question and answer session with him and after smoking we remained silent and looked up at the night sky, reminiscing the beauty of the moon and the stars I was praising a while ago right after this little incident happened. I was not expecting that this incident would happen to me on the first night of me being back here in my hometown. Minutes passed and this boy I still don't know his name stood up and picked up the baseball bat on the bench. And expectedly I stood up too. “Well I think we will now part our ways?” he said in a friendly manner. “Yes, I think.” “By the way,” he wiped his right palm on his black hoodie, “It’s nice meeting you.” and offered his hand for a shake. Well it’s bad to reject his invitation to shake hands. I grabbed his hand. I felt his hand so soft as a feather. My heart started beating too rapidly like I was injected with a hundred milligrams of adrenaline. “Can I ask, are you craving the balut a while back? I was just curious.” he laughed slightly. And still our hands were still at contact. “Well -- yeah, very unexpected right? I nearly got hit by a baseball bat because of that good egg.” we both laughed at each other. And I am really proud of myself for replying that fast without even showing a hitch with this situation I am now. “Well maybe that is also a reason we are destined to meet, because of your craving.” he said and let go of my hand. “See you when I see around you bro.” his last words before he left. And I was still here standing and I didn't know what to do. I think my heart already ran out of blood to pump.