Chapter 6: I Hate Me
926 Words
Chapter 6. [ I Hate Me]
Zachary's POV
It's been a month since nag start ang klase. Medyo umiingay na ang paligid dahil nagkaka palagayang-loob na ang mga kaklase ko.
While I'm still stuck at the corner of this room and I find tranquility here.
Maaga na-dismiss ang klase namin. I have nowhere to go kaya I stayed in my seat.
A group of ladies also stayed. I can hear their random voices and chitchats. But a euphonious voice caught my attention. Parang boses ng anghel, sobrang sweet at kaakit-akit. Pwede kong pakinggan maghapon na hindi naiinip at pagsasawaan.
Ah, si Chari pala, kasama ang bff's. Sanay na akong tinititigan niya, so I'm not bothered with her presence anymore. But having her clamorous bff's around is truly annoying.
I just focused on my work-in-progress anime sketch and put on my airpods and didn't mind them.
"Ano bang nakita mo d'yan sa weirdo na yan. Bukod sa matalino aside from that ano pa? Marami namang apo ng mga CEO na heartthrobs na may gusto sa'yo bakit yan pa?"
"Yep, he's so arrogant. Insensible. Boring. Obviously, woman-hater."
"Yeah yeah. I can't imagine pag magdate kayo, for sure nakaka antok yan. Hindi yan makakasabay sa mga trip mo."
"Hey, stop it girls. Baka naririnig kayo." Saway ni Chari sa kanyang bff's.
Though I can't see them but I can hear them. Galit siguro sila dahil sa binigay kong sulat. I don't want to be rude, I should have said it personally at hindi na pinadaan thru a letter pero wala akong lakas ng loob to approach her. Nahihiya ako dahil napapaligiran parati siya ng mga kaibigan at tagahanga, kung hindi naman ay family niya ang parati niyang kasama.
Hindi ako gaya niya na friendly. I chicken out every time na gusto ko siyang batiin whenever she's around.
"Then let him hear us. Chance n'ya na marinig kung ano ba talaga tingin ng lahat sa kanya. Akala siguro n'ya porke heir of Cruszi clan sya--"
Oh, is it my fault if I was born a Cruszi? And should I be grateful kung marinig ko ang inyong gibberish opinions behind my back? Ano bang pake ko sa tingin ng lahat sa akin? Miss, mind your own business or better yet mind your pathetic grades.
Their nonsense talks irritates me. No choice lang na marinig dahil kanina pa lowbatt airpods ko kaya boses nila ang naririnig ko.
"Chance mo na rin iparinig kung bakit head over heels ka sa lalaking weirdo na yan. Kahit hindi mo naman feel mag Journalism, kinuha mo pa rin, para sundan yan. My ghad, Chari kaloka."
Alright, I'm getting nosey with their girl talks. Interested din ako kung bakit sa dami ng lalaking mas higit sa akin ay ako pa ang pinagkakaabalahan niya?
So, dahil pala sa'kin kaya n'ya kinuha ang kursong ito. Bakit naman? That's a bit impossible to believe.
"Can't you see? Napaka ideal man niya."
Iyon pa lang ang nasabi niya, but I think my heart beat faster than usual. What's being 'ideal' sa gaya ko? Is it because I'm a Cruszi? Hindi naman siguro. Chari is from a well-off clan too. Me, being a Cruszi is out of the context.
Kung sa physical aspect naman, though I know I'm a presentable guy but not handsome enough para magustuhan ni Chari at ihayag sa lahat na gusto niya ako. Mas marami pa ang good-looking, at mas ma-appeal kaysa sa akin na pwede ipagmalaki.
"Such a gentleman," she added.
Oh, really? My gestures are just natural for a man how to act accordingly. Does chivalry hard to find nowadays?
Pero sabi nila, arrogant daw ako. So it's just on Chari's point of view na gentleman ako.
She still likes me pala kahit na alam kong rude yung binigay kong sulat last month. Hindi lang dahil sa nahihiya ako sa kanya kundi sinadya ko rin yun para ma turn off s'ya sa akin. Since then, mas lalo dumami haters ko. Ok lang, sanay naman na ako and I have no responsibility to please anybody.
"Wala akong nakikitang panget sa kanya, physically, his physique, his intellect. Everything in him is mysteriously addictive. Napaka strong ng aura niya. Oh my, I'm getting giddy."
She made my heart beat faster even more. Ugh, I'm getting flattered baka mahalata nilang naririnig ko sila so I keep that flattery inside of me.
"His deep-set eyes telling me how genuine a man he is. Sa mga mata niya rin nakikita ko, how lonely his life has been."
My brow furrowed with what I heard. What does she know about my goddamn life? Naawa lang sya sa akin. Is that it?
Bakit ba ako naiinis? Dahil sa nanghihimasok na siya sa personal life ko? O dahil awa lang pala ang nararamdaman niya sa akin at hindi talaga---
The bell suddenly rang so my thoughts were being interrupted by the boisterous sound. Their lousy girl talk ended as well.
I find it lousy kasi ako ang topic. I hate their topic. I hate myself.
Nakaka inis bakit lahat na lang kinaiinisan ko. Sobrang weird ko na nga siguro na maski ang sarili ko ay hindi ko na maunawaan. Sobrang impactful ni Chari sa akin that she made me overthink. I'm so focused with my life, with the responsibilities that is on my shoulders but damn it, I got distracted by her.
How will I believe Chari that she likes me kung sarili ko nga mismo ay hindi ko magustuhan.
Pero... Dahil sa mga narinig ko ngayon, maniniwala na ba akong gusto niya talaga ako?
- Writer
