In Between Us

Chapter 3

It’s been a month since Lucas took charge of the company. I wasn’t forced to move to Lucas as his admin, so Samantha assigned another lady from the Marketing dept. I think I owe that to Victor. He is a saviour. I also didn’t ask Victor about his conversation with Lucas, since it’s none of my business anymore…well, as long as I wasn’t forced to be assigned to Lucas.

Lucas' presence still bothers me big time. But the good thing is, I can already ignore him as if he is not around. Seeing him every day is inevitable. My desk is close to his office and I’m not on the corner, somebody can pass by my area anytime and that includes him.

He also did not attempt to send me another letter after his first attempt when I was in production floor. It’s a good thing, of course, because I honestly don’t know how I am surviving my every day knowing that he’s just around the corner. My day to day life here in the office is still a struggle. There’s no day that I didn’t think about bumping into each other eventually and that gives me a troubled heart. Leaving the company is my last resort to be honest. I am afraid and worried of leaving because of so many things and I think that was valid. I have been here since I graduated and building my trust in everyone I am working with takes years. I found this company as my comfort zone. I know it’s not brilliant because I am caging myself here, unable to explore other options outside this company.

But now, I am considering it because I am not comfortable anymore. I do not like how I am behaving each day here in the office, unlike before. Would I be OK sooner or later even though he is around? I hope I know when it will be, so I have something to look forward to at the end of this struggle.

Perhaps seeing him every day will make me feel better little by little. Perhaps seeing him every day will help me remove the pain he has caused me and eventually forgive him. Perhaps. Who knows? But for now, I need to bear whatever I am feeling right now. There’s no scape but there’s a chance of moving forward.

I can do this. I need to do this not for myself but for my Jacob.

Rock and Roll Annual Party Invitation

I opened the email and read it. 

It’s happening! Please get yourself ready for the biggest celebration of the year as we embrace our annual yearly celebration at the Shangrila Hotel Makati.

There are lots of prizes to be won.

Registration for Lavida Dance Diva is now open.

Php 50,000 will be given to our Lavida Dance Diva Champion! 

Consolation prizes will be given away.

Stay tuned for more updates Lavida lovers!

My eyes turned widely upon seeing the first price. It was Php 50, 000! I am not a greedy person, but I’m quite surprised that they are giving this huge amount for a dance competition this year.

I love dancing and it’s not new to me joining a dance competition. Even before, I have already been active in participating in a different dance contest. It’s a big help for me, especially I need money. My family was not blessed financially. We are poor, so if I always see an opportunity like this, I won’t let it pass. I will join. I am not ashamed of joining a dance contest because I know I can dance really well. Whatever money that I could get, I know that I deserve it because I will be going all out just to be deserving.

Just like last year. I won the first price of Php 20, 000. Yes, it was only Php 20, 000 and now the company is giving more.

This is my second time to join in case. I got excited. Dancing can really change my mood. Now I have found a reason to feel excited about coming to the office every day. Perhaps diverting my thoughts into joining this dance competition will remove my anxiety.

It’s only the first week of October and the organizer has already sent this Christmas party invitation this early.  The event will be happening on 23rd of December.  I decided to browse some songs that I could potentially use for my dancing. It’s better to be early than late, right?

I was in the middle of taking notes of my top 3 songs when somebody banged my wall. I almost dropped the mug beside me when my hand swung suddenly in surprise. I hold my chest to calm down when I see who’s in front of me.

“Girl, let’s join the dance competition so it’s more exciting..and you know, for more adventure and challenge because this time I will beat you on the dance floor.” He smirked. It was Joey, my gay friend from the Product Development team.

He raised his hand for a peace sign when I just looked at him blankly and didn’t respond to him.

“Sorry!” then he winked at me.

“I got excited girl, sorry for the noise. I am just so thrilled to share with you the news.” His excitement was visible in his eyes.

“As if I haven’t read my email?” I asked foolishly while looking at him sulkily.

He raised his eyebrows, challenging me.

“Duh!..Of course I know. I wanted to walk around and since I saw you, I got a reason to stop and, you know, chat with you. Anyway, there’s a qualifying round next week for that dance competition. I want to see you there, OK? If you don’t know where to register, I can send the link or we can find it now if you want.” He continued while looking at his fingers.

I am surprised to hear that there’s a qualifying round this time. ‘Why? Isn’t it free? I mean anyone can join, prepare and show it on the day itself? Are they going to eliminate me since I won last year?’

I have shaken my head because I am thinking too much. I shouldn’t add this to my burden. That should be the last thing that I would do.

I looked at my monitor and Joey looked at it too.

I felt shy of the people around us when he screamed, not so loud but enough to disturb our colleagues nearby.

“Pssssh…You’re already getting their attention.” I said in a low voice while putting my index finger in my mouth.

I turn off my monitor because of this guy here beside me.

“Impressive!” then he laughed. “You’re already selecting songs for that dance?! That’s wow! I thought you would not be interested anymore. My gosh! Why do I think so hmmm?” he stood straight, putting his hand on his waist and thought of something.

“Can I see that again? Is it Ariana? Break Free? Nice.” He smiled at me sweetly and eagerly.

I glanced at him and smiled at him finally, too. This guy is funny.

I was shocked when he moved his face close to mine. I felt uncomfortable suddenly. I quickly turned on my monitor again and looked at it to avoid his face. He also then moved his focus to the monitor but his face was still so close that I could feel his breathing.

 “Excuse me.” On a sudden, a deep voice appeared right in front of us.

Joey, my friend, immediately rose up from an almost crouching position beside me.

I also turned my head up to check who was the owner of the voice, which I quickly regretted.

Shock might be visible in my face. I couldn’t react either because of a sudden outburst of emotion.

“Can I talk to you for about 5-10 minutes?” I heard him say. “In my room. I’ll wait for you there. Please.” Then he left us.

I saw Joey, stiffened but somehow looked amazed.

He licked his lips.

“How can this guy exist? Can you tell me? And why on earth did he talk to you only without even looking at me, huh?” Joey in a soft voice while controlling something about himself.

“Now I totally agree with those girls downstairs, he is really so damn hot! My God! Do you know that there are lots of girls talking about him and fantasizing him? I think I’m already part of their group now.” Joey in his puppy eyes. I just keep my mouth shut while listening to him.

“But, girl, he is such a snob. He didn’t even look at me now or even glance at me for a second like hello, I’m here!” he exaggerated.

“I’m thinking if he has a girlfriend, he looked so serious, scary you know?”

“Hey! Why are you so quiet? I kept on talking here and you’re not even responding! Didn’t you hear him? He is asking you to go to his room! Oh my God, you’re so lucky!” Joey almost screaming while shaking me.

I remained silent. I am thinking about whether I should follow him. Then I felt a hand on my chin. Joey is examining me.

“You know what? You’re so simple yet so beautiful. So go, get him, OK?” he joked at me.

I can barely listen to him. My mind is flying to whether I’ll follow Lucas or not.

“Girl, grab him immediately right after you close the door, OK?” he laughed evilly.

‘Nosy.’

I looked at him with a grimace.

“Girl, have you seen how he looked at you? He is like a boy longing for someone. His eyes looked sad, I don’t know but that’s how I read it.” Joey continued.

I turned to Joey, continued staring with a blank look on my face. I couldn’t utter any words. Totally no idea of what to do.

This is the first time he approached me. All of a sudden, out of nowhere.

‘Please.’ Did I hear it right? Did he really say please? And his voice, it’s deep, mature, solid yet there’s a hint of pleading, soft as Joey said.

“I’ll go now. You look weird.” He looked at me with a confused expression.

“Bye, see you next week!” he said before disappearing in front of me.

I am contemplating whether to go or not to go.

If I go, what am I going to do inside his office? Did he not realise that it would be awkward for the two of us?

‘Hi, how are you?’ that was so pretentious.

‘Why did you call me?’ stupid question, I guess.

‘What can I do for you?’ I don’t think he needs my help at the moment, he has his own admin.

I stopped thinking of what words I should say because I had already dropped the idea that I would be following him inside his room.

'President my ass.' I murmured. Though I'm scared, what if he throws me out of this building?

Instead of staying at my desk, I decided to go down to Finance and submit the documents that Victor asked me this morning instead of going to his room.

‘I am not reporting to him, so I don’t think we will be discussing work. Most likely it’s personal. We don’t have anything to discuss about because he already put an end to it the last time we talked.’ I told myself.

'Seeing you around is already a nightmare. How much more if we talk?'

When I was about to enter the elevator, I heard footsteps coming. I immediately positioned myself at the right corner so that the person behind me could easily enter the elevator too. There are 3 of us inside.

I froze when I realized who it was. I couldn’t move suddenly, it felt like my feet were glued to where I am standing. ‘Is he following me? What the hell, Lucas?’

I could feel my heart beating loudly. The elevator moved up. That’s when I realized I shouldn’t get in and had waited for it to go down. I shouldn’t be trapped here with him if I just stayed focused. It felt like the elevator became very slow at that moment and I couldn’t wait for it to open so I could move out.

The elevator stopped at the 7th floor and the lady who’s with us came out.

Without a second thought, I followed her.

The girl tapped her card at the glass door and before she could enter, I spoke to her.

“Hi. Sorry..hmmm can I ask a favor?” I hesitate when I’m trying to get her attention. I don’t want to stay outside knowing that Lucas might be around waiting for me.

“Y-yes, what is it?” the lady answered me.

“I just need your help to be honest. I’m from the 6th floor.” I showed her my ID so that she would not doubt my intention. I didn’t hear the door of the elevator closing, so my mind is imagining that Lucas was looking at us the whole time. The idea of me with him inside the elevator scares me.

The lady didn’t answer, she looked like she was waiting for what I was going to say.

“Ahhh..” This is unbelievable. “Can you help me check if the door of the elevator is already closed and has it already moved to another floor?” I hope I am not scaring her. “I am trying to hide from someone, sorry for bothering you, I really cannot look at it by myself.” I saw her smiled. I sighed. Good thing she got what I mean and now she’s helping me.

The lady moved her gaze at my back, then her eyebrows furrowed.

“Hmmm it didn’t move, it’s still here on the 7th floor, but yeah, the door is closed.” She told me.

‘I knew it.’

“Ok..T-Thank you Ms.” I smiled at her, unable to reach my eyes.

“Sorry, I need to attend a meeting.” The lady spoke while looking at her watch.

I still want to stay but I already saw the lady going inside the building. I suddenly felt uneasy knowing that I am alone here.

I quickly glanced at the elevator and, truthfully, the elevator was on the 7th floor.

‘Is he inside?’

‘He didn’t come out, so most likely he is just there.’

I turned around and quickly went to the fire exit while my eyes were on the elevator. I took the stairs going to the 4th floor where Finance is located.

‘Ridiculous. I cannot do this every single day. This is not funny, Lucas. Whatever you’re doing, you should stop.’

Being close to him is what I always dreamt of when we were still young. Being around him makes my heart alive. I was so full of energy every time I saw him, every time I talked to him. He made me so happy, I was so in-love. My day wouldn’t be complete if I couldn’t see him. I was so desperate to make him happy, to make sure that I could make him smile. I can do anything for him. I am really badly smitten. I can go crazy over him. 

But…that was all before.

Now, the idea of being close to him destroys me. I hate him to the extent that I seriously do not want to see his face. But what can I do? Fate brought him here and there’s nothing that I can do at the moment but to face this life is throwing me.

Indirectly, he is still my boss and whatever I do, I hope he will not use it against me to lose my job.  

I entered the office of Finance and submitted the documents with my thoughts flying around. Lucas affects me and my work is becoming affected. I cannot let him control me. I cannot avoid him too and always find ways to run away if we meet unexpectedly. Definitely we will bump into each other soon. I cannot talk to him, that’s for sure. I still cannot do it. My anger towards him is too much, so talking to him is not a good idea because definitely, we will end up fighting.