The Loveteam

2

Adan

“WHAT THE F*CK, Adan?!”

“Get out of here,” ang naging tugon ko sa paninigaw ni Owen. Tiningnan ko nang masama si Aaron, ang assistant, na siyang nagbukas ng pinto kay Owen. Kaagad niyang iniiwas ang paningin.

“You’ve lost your mind! I told you... I told you—“

“I said get out!” ang singhal ko kay Owen.

“You can’t tell me what—“

Hindi na niya naituloy ang anumang sasabihin dahil marahas ko siyang itinulak patungo sa pinto. Hindi niya gaanong inasahan ang ginawa ko kaya kamuntikan na siyang mawalan ng balanse. I don’t care. I want him out of my place. I’m not in the mood to hear anything he has to say.

Patuloy ko siyang itinulak hanggang sa ganap siyang makalabas ng penthouse ko. Ini-lock ko ang pinto. Matagal-tagal na ring hindi alam ni Owen ang codes ng penthouse na iyon kaya hindi siya makakapasok uli. I made sure this place would be very private. This is my space. No one tells me what to do around here.

Lumayo ako sa pinto nang marinig ko ang marahas na pagkatok ni Owen mula sa labas.

“Subukan mong pagbuksan siya uli, Aaron. Try my patience and see what will happen to you,” ang sabi ko sa assistant kong nahihintakutan. Hindi rin siguro niya mapaniwalaan na ipinagtabuyan ko palabas ang manager ko.

“No calls. No messages. No visitors. No one disturbs me,” ang sabi ko habang patungo ako sa aking silid. “I don’t care if the world is falling apart, I don’t wanna be disturbed. Clear?”

“Yes po, Boss,” ang tugon ni Aaron, may nginig sa tinig.

Pabalibag kong isinara ang pinto ng aking silid. Hinihingal na isinandal ko ang aking sarili sa pinto. Naihilamos sa mukha ang dalawang kamay at pilit na kinalma ang sarili. Hindi ko gaanong napagtagumpayan.

“Damn it!” ang aking sigaw.

I am so angry and frustrated. I don’t know how to deal with those, to be honest. No, that’s not entirely true. I don’t really want to deal with all of it.

I’m just tired. I’m so tired.

I go to my bed and just drop myself in there. Napapabuntong-hininga na ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata. Alam ko na hindi ko ito ganap na matatakasan. Alam ko na kailangan ko itong harapin. I’m not an irresponsible adult. I had choices and admittedly, I made a few bad choices earlier or technically last night.

It just pisses me off to be in this position when I didn’t really have to. Gusto kong magbago na ang sitwasyon. Gusto kong magawa ko ang lahat ng gusto kong gawin. Pakiramdam ko ay nakakulong ako at hindi makawala.

Parang habang tumatagal ay mas lumiliit ang kulungan na iyon. May mga pagkakataon na parang ang hirap nang huminga.

I acted out last night. I can admit that. Owen has a valid reason to be livid and to be worried. I didn’t lose my mind. I knew what I was doing last night. I didn’t not care. I think I did.

It was a form of rebellion, I guess. Plus I was drunk and my inhibitions were down. My self-control was non-existent.

“You’re too old for this,” I tell myself. I know that deep within. Mahirap lang talagang panindigan minsan.

I tried to sleep and not think about what is happening outside. Owen will put the fires out. Tiwala naman ako sa manager ko kahit na alam kong muhing-muhi at galit na galit siya sa akin sa kasalukuyan. Hindi niya ako pababayaan. Hindi niya hahayaan na madungisan nang husto ang magandang pangalan ko.

I can’t find sleep. I can’t find peace. I’m in turmoil.

Napapabuntong-hininga na tumihaya ako at tumingin sa kisame. What is happening to my life? What is happening to me?

Sa loob ng mahabang sandali ay tumingin lang ako sa kisame, pilit na hinahanapan ng sagot ang mga katanungan na gumugulo sa aking isipan.

I am tired, I realize. That’s not something new. I have working almost nonstop for the last six months. I have a movie that’s coming out next month. My teleserye is extended for another month. I’ve opened a new Korean restaurant. I had photoshoots, commercials, endorsements, shows, guestings, appearances and business meetings in between.

Last night, I just want to let go. Be free. I just want to have fun with friends. I just want to drink and be merry.

I just had to screw things up.

Naiinis na tumayo ako sa kama at tinungo ang banyo. I strip and take a long shower. I felt a little more human after at least.

Nagsuot lang ako ng athletic shorts at hindi na nag-abala sa shirt. Lumabas ako ng kuwarto at hinanap si Aaron. Ipinagpasalamat ko na natagpuan ko siya sa kusina. I need coffee. A gallon of it. Mukhang nagulat ang aking assistant nang makita ako.

“How are things?” ang tanong ko habang abala ako sa coffee machine.

“Uh...” Tiningnan niya ang mga gamit na nakalatag sa may kitchen counter. Nakabukas ang laptop niya. Naroon din ang cell phone at tablet.

“You can tell me. I have to deal with it.” Naupo ako sa isa sa mga high stool habang hinihintay na mapuno ang malaking mug ng kape. “I really don’t want to but it’s the adult thing to do.”

Hindi kaagad sumagot si Aaron, nakatingin lang sa akin.

Napapailing na natatawa ako. “How long have you been working with me?”

“Two years na po.” Iniabot niya sa akin ang mug.

Tumango ako. “Thanks,” ang sabi ko pagkatapos kong humigop ng kape. “Two years. You’ve been my personal assistant for two years. I think you’re one of the few people who knows what’s really happening behind the scenes, off camera. You should know me by now, being you’ve been by my side for two years. You’ve handled a lot of things in my life. I know it has been not easy two years. You’ve been loyal to me kahit na technically ay si Owen ang boss mo talaga. I’m not always easy to work with, I know that too. I’m sorry for the trouble I’m causing now.” Nagpakawala ako ng marahas na buntong-hininga bago ako nagpatuloy. “I’ll handle things. Wala pa akong ideya kung paano pero I’ll handle it. I’ll figure things out.”

May munting ngiti na gumuhit sa mga labi ng assistant. “Thank you for being not angry now,” ang sabi niya, may pag-iingat sa tinig.

“I’m not angry. I’m... frustrated. I should get to do things like this, you know. I should be free.”

Tumango-tango si Aaron. “You should be. Pero...”

“Ginusto ko `to. Pinili ko `to,” ang sabi ko bago ko pinagtuunan uli ng pansin ang kape. “Hindi ako dapat na nagrereklamo. Hindi  dapat na naiinis. Dahil ito ang pinili kong buhay. There are things that I should do.”

“There’s not much fire to put out,” ani Aaron.

“There isn’t?” Owen is efficient but this is fast even for him.

“Nag-post ng statement si Rianne sa Instagram.”

“She did?” Hindi ko sigurado kung bakit ko pa iyon ikinagulat. Of course Rianne would be be there to save the day. And I would owe her a lot. I hate that.

Dinampot ni Aaron ang phone na nasa table at iniabot sa akin. Tinanggap ko iyon at tiningnan ang post ni Rianne.

There’s no cheating that happened. This kind of thing happen all the time. Adan, my sweet faithful boyfriend of four years, is one gorgeous guy. The sexiest. The most beautiful. Women throw themselves at him all the time. Sometimes, he just couldn’t hold off an attack like this.

He attracks women and that’s not his fault. It’s not his fault that some women would do anything and everything to chase clout.

This is not an issue for me. Huwag na nating palakihin dahil iyon ang gusto ng ilan na may hindi magandang intensiyon.

Adan didn’t cheat on me. He loves me and only me.

We’re good. We’re happy. We’re very much in love.

Hindi ko napigilan ang mapahalaklak nang mabasa ang lahat. Nakalagay ang mga statement sa simpleng white background pero bold and italized ang mga letra.

“Isang bagay lang ang totoo sa statement na iyan,” ang sabi ko kay Aaron habang ibinabalik ang phone. “I didn’t cheat on her because we no longer have a romantic relationship.”

It had been years now since the breakup. We’re only together for a year. Pero hindi iyon alam ng maraming tao. Ang alam nila ay kami pa rin ni Rianne hanggang sa ngayon.

Why? It was to keep the loveteam alive. Yes, I’m a part of a successful loveteam. I have been for the last seven years of my life.

When I’ve decided to enter the show business, I didn’t think I would be in this position until now. I didn’t think it would last this long.

I can admit to everyone that I won’t be this successful if it weren’t for the loveteam. Hindi ako magiging household name kung hindi kaagad nakita ni Owen ang potensiyal namin ni Rianne.

Owen already had a handful of good talents then. Puro mahuhusay at regular naman na nakakakuha ng trabaho. Pero wala talagang maituturing na A-List. He knew what to do. A loveteam. He needed a really good loveteam. The loveteam that everyone would love.

Inggit na inggit noon si Owen sa success ng Kaime. The loveteam dominated everything in the showbiz world. If he could just find two perfect people who would be the perfect loveteam, he’d be able to give Kaime a good competition.

Owen did find me and Rianne. Rianne was a struggling artista then. Talented pero hindi gaanong napapansin. Puro extras ang role na nakukuha. Nakagawa ng ilang independent movie at nagkaroon naman ng recognition sa international scene pero hindi sapat. Rianne wanted fame. She believes she deserves that with her talent.

Maybe she really did.

I started out as a model. It wasn’t even serious. It was something to do while I was figuring things out. A paycheck. I was also saving up for my first restaurant then. Naisip ko noon na mas madaling makapasok sa modeling world sa Asia kaysa a America.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakita ni Owen sa akin pero kinumbinsi niya akong subukan ang pagiging artista. Hindi ako kaagad naniwala na puwede, na kaya ko. Parang hindi para sa akin ang pag-arte. Pero dahil napatunayan ko nang hindi ko na kayang magtrabaho sa isang restaurant na hindi akin, I gave it a try.

Wala namang masama, ang sabi ko sa sarili ko. If I’m horrible at it, I can always quit.

Owen sold his house to invest in us. Nagkaroon ng makeover si Rianne. Na-overhaul ang image. Ginawan ng persona. Persona na hindi na persona sa ngayon. Ganap na niyang niyakap iyon at hindi na matatagpuan sa kahit na saan ang dating Rianne.

Owen sent me to acting school. I went to workshops and all the acting classes my manager was able to find and sign up for me. Surprisingly, I was an okay actor. Hindi kaagad mahusay pero madali raw matuto. Nakikinig. Madaling turuan. May potential.

Prangkahan na sinabi sa akin ng isang coach na sa unang taon ko sa showbiz ay hindi gaanong papansin ang acting chops ko. Mas matutuon ang pansin ng mga manonood sa maganda kong mukha. Iyon muna ang magiging mahalaga. Susuportahan ako ng maraming tao dahil sa gandang-lalaki ko.

She also said I should be thankful for that. I shouldn’t be offended because that’s the way things are. Lalo na sa mabilis na paglago ng social media. I should make use of the time. Be better. Show everyone I can be a good actor, that I’m not just a beautiful face.

I’ve realized I didn’t want to be good, I want to be great.

I have improved since then. I worked hard not just to be good enough. Marami ang nasorpresa sa akin. I know I am good. I also know I can be better.

Pinagsumikapan ni Owen na mabuo ang hype para sa amin ni Rianne. He worked so hard to get us a movie deal that launched our career. Siniguro niyang magiging maganda ang promotion. Kumita ang pelikula na iyon. Ipinagdasal nila ang success pero hindi nila inasahan na magiging surprise hit iyon. Iyong klase ng hit na mga established loveteam lang ang nakakagawa.

The success had been overwhelming. Kaagad na dumagsa ang offers and deals. Hindi nagtagal, we signed an exclusive contract with a TV network who immediately gave us a primetime teleserye.

ARia.

That’s what people call us. I was the A of ARia.

Seven years. Minsan ay mahirap paniwalaan na pitong taon na rin mula nang makipagsapalaran sa amin si Owen. Pitong taon na ako sa industriya na hindi ko sigurado noon na dapat kong puntahan.

Hindi ko minsan mapaniwalaan ang naging pagbabago sa relasyon namin ni Rianne.

We are a good team. We are good being together. Sa simula ay may usapan kami. It would be professional between us. We can be friends and partners, pero hanggang doon na lang. Hindi na dapat lumampas sa hindi dapat. Kahit na gaano pa hilingin ng fans.

Sa unang dalawang taon ay napanindigan namin ang usapan na iyon. Until one drunken night after a premiere night. We were both horny and we have no one but each other. We couldn’t risk being with other people at the time. So we turned to each other.

We can’t really do one-night stand. We slept every night for a month or three after the first time. Dahil siguro alam namin na hindi kami maaaring maging karaniwang babae at lalaki sa modernong mundo, kailangan naming kumbinsihin ang mga sarili namin na in love kami sa isa’t isa.

I think I did fall in love with Rianne at some point. I have to admit, a small part of my heart will always love her. I care for her. Concern pa rin ako kahit na minsan ay hindi ko siya talaga matagalan. Naniniwala rin naman ako na ganoon din siya sa akin.

We’ve been partners for seven years. When it comes to work, the absolute trust is there between us. Kaya nga may ganoong post si Rianne ngayon sa i********:. Hindi niya ako pababayaan kagaya ng kung paanong hindi ko siya pababayaan kung nagkabaliktad man ang sitwasyon.

I just don’t know what happened to us. Nagbago ba siya? O mas nagbago ako? Nagbago kaming dalawa.

Isang taon lang ang itinagal ng totoong relasyon namin. Hindi iyon alam ng mga tao. Ang alam ng publiko, kami pa rin magpahanggang ngayon. Going strong. Magpapakasal balang-araw. Hindi ko sigurado kung kailan kami magkakalakas ng loob na aminin sa lahat na pagkukunwari na lang ang relasyon, na sa trabaho na lang kami partners ni Rianne.

Hindi matutuwa ang mga tao, ang sabi ni Owen. Maaapektuhan ang careers naming dalawa ni Rianne kung mawawala ang ilusyon ng pagiging living fairy tale naming dalawa. People loved that we’re in love on and off the camera. May mga pagkakataon na ayaw ko nang maniwala roon. I believed we’ve made individual marks, Rianne and I. Napatunayan na namin ang husay namin. Nagkaroon na kami ng mga independent projects. We are more than a loveteam.

Pero mali ako at tama si Owen. Patunay ang nangyayari sa kasalukuyan. Mabilis ang naging pagkalat ng litrato at video kong may kahalikang ibang babae sa isang bar. I am branded as a cheater in no time at all. Kaagad na nag-trend ang bad behavior ko. Kaagad kong naramdaman ang unhappiness at disappointment ng fans.

Unhappiness at disappointment na maglalaho dahil sa statement ni Rianne. Dahil ipinahayag niyang in love pa rin kami sa isa’t isa.

“I should thank Rianne?” ang sabi ko kay Aaron nang maubos ko ang kape sa aking mug.

Tumango si Aaron.

“I was the one who hit on her, the girl on the bar,” ang sabi ko kay Aaron. “Rianne’s post will be very helpful to me pero it’s unfair to the woman from last night. `Cause I bought her a drink. I told her she’s beautiful. I asked her to dance with me. I kissed her. I made out with her. It’s unfair for her.”

Ilang sandali na natahimik muna si Aaron at mukhang nag-iisip. He does that a lot. He often thinks first before he speaks or acts. It’s one of the reasons why he’s still my assistant. It’s why I like having him around.

“Yes, may punto ka naman po sa sinabi mo. Totoo rin naman. Kasalanan mo. Pero...” Naging abala si Aaron sa smartphone. Nang mukhang mahanap niya roon ang kailangan ay ibinalik uli niya sa akin ang phone. Nakabukas pa rin ang i********: pero nasa profile na ng babae na nilapitan ko kagabi.

Her name’s Felice. She posted a picture of us together. Hindi ako nakaharap sa camera at hindi ako aware na kinukunan na kami. She basically confirmed what happened last night and she even alluded that something more had happened. Which is not true.

“It’s still unfair, Aaron.”

Yes, this Felice may be a clout chaser. She knew who I was, she knew I have Rianne and let me have my way with her anyway. She may take advantage of the situation. She may be the one who spread our pictures making out all over the Internet. She may cause more trouble. But...

“Hindi magbabago ang fact na ako ang lumapit sa kanya, na ako ang gumawa ng unang move.”

I feel bad because I know how vicious the people in the Internet can be. I love my fans but they can be too much when something like this arises. May ilan na ayaw tumanggap ng posibilidad na hindi kami ni Rianne ang magkakatuluyan balang-araw. There were death threats in the past, not just mean words.

Felice is going to be the bad guy. The one who flirted and seduced me. She’d read mean comments about her entire being. And words sting kahit na nababasa lang sa screen. Nakakapanakit pa rin ang mga hindi magagandang salita lalo na kung hindi totoo. Nakakatakot pa rin ang threats mula sa mga taong hindi mo kilala at hindi ka kilala.

“Hindi maiiwasan ang ilang bagay, boss,” ani Aaron sa munting tinig.

“And it’s my fault.  Owen told me to behave last night before I went out. It pisses me off. Para akong bata na imbes na sumunod sa bilin ay nanggigil na sumuway.” Nahagod ko ang aking buhok na hindi ko pa natutuyo. “I messed up.”

“May panahon na nahirapan kang aminin ang bagay na iyan.”

“You’re saying I grew up naman kahit na I screwed things up last night?”

“I’m saying you’re a good man, boss. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Napangiti ako sa kabila ng lahat. Totoong ngiti. “Thank you for saying that.” It is nice to know someone is in my corner no matter what.

“You have people to clean this up,” ani Aaron. Iginawa niya ako uli ng kape.

“I should just ignore this?”

“You need a vacation,” ang pahayag niya. “You’re burned-out, boss.”

Napabuntong-hininga ako.

“Hindi lang isang gabi. Two weeks at least. Abroad. Huwag dito. Kailangan mong mag-relax at maghinay-hinay. Hindi makabubuti kung magpapatuloy ang ganito.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice to just pack and jump into a plane?”

Tumango si Aaron. “Pero hindi puwede dahil hindi ka irresponsable. Hang in there for a little while. We’ll figure things out.”

Banayad akong natawa. “Okay then. Kung makumbinsi mo si Owen na bigyan ako ng bakasyon, you’ll get a hefty bonus at the end of the year.”

Ang ganda ng naging ngiti niya. “Hindi naman kailangan—“

“Okay.”

“Pero tatanggapin ko nang maluwag sa aking dibdib. Magpapasalamat ako ngayon pa lang. Ako naman kasi ang magbabakasyon after.”

Muli akong natawa. “Thank you, man. And sorry kung nasigawan kita kanina.”

“It’s okay. Naiintindihan ko naman.”

Kailangan ko sigurong magpasalamat na may mga tao na katulad ni Aaron. Mga tao na talagang nagmamalasakit. Yes, I need a vacation. A very long one. I need it as soon as possible.