Melody de la Douleur

RELEASE

RELEASEI can not shake off this nagging feeling of being watched. And sure enough, when I look around, I see many eyes staring back at me. Not to mention that most of them are from the male population. I can not remember the last time I am getting this much attention, but I sure know that it was when I was still performing. This is the same, except when they part that I am neither singing or playing an instrument.

Why are they looking at me like that? It is like they are admiring me or something. But that can not be right. The students of St. Lathios do not like their neighbors. Everyone one, except Clovis.

Speaking of the devil, here he comes carrying a tray of food.

“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you. Where have you been?” he asks, taking a seat next to me. There is nothing different the way he treats me, unlike the rest.

I am sitting under the sun for the first time in such a long time, and it also does not hurt. We are in one of the tables at the balcony, just outside the VIP cafeteria. A huge umbrella is placed above the table, but I moved my chair just a little bit away from it, allowing light to shower my skin.

“Visiting Nixandre,” I answer. With that, his eyes widen.

“Why would you do that?”

“I was being generous, offering to return the stolen energy back to him. But he did not take it and even kicked me out,” I answer.

“Well, that’s a relief,” he says, taking a bite of his bread. “Why did you even bother to return it in the first place?”

“I was concerned that he would end up killing someone in the progress of restoring his energy, but turns out that he hadn’t fed off anyone just yet.”

“Would you like to have some of mine?” he asks, offering some of his food.

Again with the question.

I eye at my options, before taking a green apple. I hold it in my palms for him to see, as it turns dark. Not rotting, but more like influenced. A demon can influence any living material on Earth, including this apple, since it is part of nature.

Clovis watches in fascination as the apple in my hands turn black. He is about to reach out to touch it before I snatch it away.

“Don’t touch it. It’s poisonous,” I tell him.

“Is that you’re not eating?” he asks.

I nod. “Yes. Other part of it is because I do not need to eat human food. Life force is my sole nutrition source. But enough about me. How about you? Aren’t you going to increase your practice time, now that you are a candidate?”

He blushes a little at my question, before clearing his throat. “It’s not that I am overly confident or not, but I do not need to practice much in order to win this. I’ve been in the first place ever since I started participating.”

“You are talented, I know. But you’ll never know. You’ve got some pretty tough competition this year. Demons are not ones that you can beat easily, especially when it is in their expertise.”

“I know. I’m looking forwarding to watch your performance.”

I wrinkle my eyebrows in annoyance. “I told you. I’m not going to participate.”

“But─”

“I was talking about the twins. They weren’t here last year, were they?”

“How did you know?” Clovis asks in surprise. “They just transferred in this year at the beginning of the semester.”

“It’s not hard to guess. I’ve noticed that the sakuras in this school has been rather withered for quite some time now. They have been like that when I pass the school fence outside in the last few months. Now I know why,” I elaborate, putting the apple in my hands away and making sure that it is not going to contaminate anything else.

Days pass by quick. Class after class, I still meet the twins. Bellathrone glares at me as she usually does whenever she can, while her brother avoids me at all cost. They do not need practice like the humans. I see Nion coming out of the practice room once in awhile though. Turns out he is pretty good in playing the violin, and it is pure talent this time. But if he is so good at it, I wonder why he chose St. Luthias. Unlike me, he will not kill anyone else who listens to his performance.

So what is stopping him?

I sigh at the thought. I wish I would participate as well. But I know better than to have some wishful thinking. But there is a way…. Oh, what I would do to learn the way. For everyone to once again enjoy my music…. without having to die as the result.

“There is a way, you know.” The voice catches me off guard. The only one who can do that is….

….Another demon, Nixandre.

“What are you doing here?” I have decided to spend my lunch break alone today, leaning against the railing of a balcony from the library. I do not have the mood for reading at all this time.

“Come. I’ll show you,” he says, before walking into the building.

His words are too good to be true, but I am whisked by the chance. If there really is a way…. If he can help me make it come true…..

Nix leads me out of the library, into the corridor, and back to the sections of practice room. Students give us a passing glance once in awhile on our way there.

“What are we doing here?” I ask as he chooses no particular room as I follow. He makes sure to close the door and lock it.

“We don’t want any intruders,” he tells me, before approaching the grand piano at the center. Standing by its side, he says, “Take a sit.” He reaches for something in his pocket and places a black box on top of the piano. It is a video camera, as I examine closer. He sets the device and I see a red LED flashing. “Play,” he orders when I do nothing.

All sorts of things cross my mind the moment I ready myself. This is an entirely different effect: things start to feel familiar. It is like watching a movie scene that I know so well, yet much hazier, and I can not put a title to it. A split second passes so fast, before that certain tingle begins to overwhelm me.

Yes…. This is it. Finally.

My fingers move on their own before I acknowledge it. Melodies begin to ring in my ears, echoing through the soundproof room. Melodies of happiness, melodies of passion. Melodies of wonder, melodies of pain. Through this piece, I give my all. Islamey, an Oriental Fantasy by Balakirev.

Oh, the song. My music, my joy. I am truly heavenly delighted by the bless of your presence. Wash me over once more. Wash me over and carry me in your current. Let me drown in your unending waves. You go quick, you go fast. There is an interlude, and then we begin again.

Then things begin to build up, heading towards that climax. Not even for a single key that I miss. That goal is mine, and I am coming for it. It knows that I am coming, and so we collide.

The tune still echoes in my ear when it is finish. Nix does not say anything, only pressing the buttons in the video camera. I glance at nothing, but the instrument in front of me.

That was…. incredible!

“What do I do now?” I ask him.

“Nothing. I’ll take care of the rest,” he replies monotonously. Then, without as much as looking at me, he walks out of the practice room.

He is back to avoiding me again.

I leave the practice room a few minutes afterwards. Just in time, the bell rings, a sign that class is going to start soon. I rush to Acoustics. I share my class with Nion and Bellathrone. The teacher instructs us to practice with the violins, but I spend most of my time in class sketching. The annual performance is coming soon, which means all of the participants will have to wear formal clothes. I want to make something for Clovis. He will need at least a tuxedo suit.

I design the suit in all black. The jacket will be made out of high quality fabric. It has to be tailored by hand. I want white threads to stress the lines in the suit. But since it is white, I can not make any mistake. White buttons in form of tone symbols, just like those on his uniform, will accessories the jacket and sleeves. The pants will be made in the same good material, with white threads to stress the vertical lines. His tie will be silk and black. The shirt will be made of cotton, simple and clean. And for the addition, I want to pick out a fresh white rose to go in the breast pocket. This suit will match his features. His black hair and dark blue eyes will be enhanced. Plus, he has nice light skin. This will go well.

I can take the time to search for material after class, and begin drawing the pattern at the next day. However, before I can start the second step, I will have to learn his sizes first. But I want this to be a surprise, so I guess I will just have to examine him a little further and guess.

On the last class of the day, right in the middle of the lesson, the TV turns on. Then, without as much as an explanation, a video plays. It is the recording of me playing earlier on. At the moment I understand right away what Nix has meant. With this, the whole school sees.

Everyone stops what they are doing the moment they hear that melody. Their eyes are fixed on the screen almost immediately, catching the sight of me playing. I was so beautiful, playing the piece with a smile on my face. That was one of the rarest moment that I do smile. And my eyes twinkle as I gaze at nothing in particular, because I knew that the moment was a bliss.

When the video ends, the screen goes blank. The whole class is staring at me. A clap cracks the silence. It is a teacher. He praises at my performance, saying that I really deserve becoming part of the annual performance. The other students follow him, now beginning to really see me in a new light. I can not believe that there are so many people enjoying my performance and gets to see another day afterwards. Even as I walk home, a lot of students are encouraging me for the competition.

“That was Islamey by Balakirev, right?”

“You were amazing!”

“I didn’t know that a St. Luthias student can play that well.”

“Good luck with the performance.”

Students grow more eager when we enter the second month. It is two months away from the date of the annual performance, and the participants are all about practice all the time, minus a few certain people. Each participant will also have to choose an accompanist, to accompany them in piano while in the performance. So the number of students who are busy increases in twice.

“Have you found an accompanist yet?” Clovis asks me just before classes start one day. I shake my head. “Why? I’m sure that a lot of students have offered themselves after watching your performance the other day.”

“I told you. I’m not participating,” I tell him sternly.

“Again with that? I thought you’ve changed your mind after publicating that video. By the way, why didn’t you tell me that you were going to do that?”

“That’s because I wasn’t the one who did it. It was Nix. He was the one who helped me got it for everyone to listen.”

“Nix? Why would he want to help you? I thought you guys are enemies,” Clovis asks, sounding more curious than anything else.

“We’re not enemies. We just don’t get along. I don’t get along with other demons in general,” I explain to him.

“Anyway, I want to show you something,” he says, changing the subject. “I think you’re going to like it.” He leads me to a practice room ─ the one he usually uses. He opens the door and we enter. He places himself on the bench and begins playing.

It is a new song, as I noticed. The tune starts out nicely, slowly and smooth. Then he opens his mouth, and a brilliant voice pierce through me. His voice is clear and pure, like the water. Suddenly, everything else dies out around me, and the only light that vibrant in my sight is him. It is beautiful, how he sings and how the tune synchronizes with him. It is like the first time when I heard him sang, but this time much more intense. That wonderful sound overwhelms me with pure radiant, compelling me.

♪ ♬ You are my light in the dark ♬ ♪

♪ ♬ The sun that sets in my heart ♬ ♪

♪ ♬ And I am about to get you ♬ ♪

♪ ♬ That beautiful radiance of my world ♬ ♪

♪ ♬ You brighten the void when I fell in abyss ♬ ♪

♪ ♬ I thought I knew this world, but you showed me more ♬ ♪

♪ ♬ Your voice, your face, they are out of this world ♬ ♪

♪ ♬ You are the angel of music ♬ ♪

I watch as he plays with the tune, washing over and consuming my hearing. He is really talented.

When the song ends, he tells me, “I wrote that song while thinking of you. What do you think?”

Instead of answering, though, I close the distance between us in two steps. Touching the side of his face, his eyes soften. Those deep blue orbs transform darker, glimmer. Silent words pass through from him to me. His breath is sweet and warm, inviting me in. His skin is so soft and fragile in my hand. I close those remaining inches between us.

But before our lips can touch, I step back and look away.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

He looks hurt and rejected, asking, “Why?” Almost in a whimper.

I bite my lower lips. “If I kiss you, I can suck out your life energy. I don’t want to do that to you,” I explain guiltily.

“Is there a way that we can─” he asks, but I cut him off.

“No!” I snap way too harshly. “We shouldn’t have done this in the first place.” He is a human. I can destroy him. This can not continue on. “I have to go,” I tell him and rush out immediately, leaving him alone in that room.

I walk through the corridor, not stopping even to catch the breathe I do not need. After some random turns, I end up at the library.

Just then my phone ring and I check to find a text message:

_________________________________________________________________________________

From: Len Gylithan

Receiving Time: February 16, 2053, 06:53 AM

Text Message:

_________________________________________________________________________________

Hi. It’s been a while. How are you? Are things going good at St. Lathios.

PS: Btw, I heard. You’ve made it to the elimination. Congrats!

─ Len

_________________________________________________________________________________

His message brings a smile to my face. Of course I am alright. I am a demon, after all. I will be as fine as I can ever be. I reply him that, minus the demon thing.

The reply comes not so long after that, saying that he wants us to meet up. It has been a while since we talk face to face, so I agree to it.

It is not long before the bell rings, but I do not think that I can face Clovis or the lessons today. I can not stay in the library for long, since the librarian will know that I am skipping classes. So I turn to the only staff in this school that I can truly trust: Regina.

“Hi, Regina,” I say, walking up to her registration podium.

She is chewing a licorice in one hand while the other is tapping her pen against her notes when her eyes glance at my direction. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in class? It’s not that I’m not happy that you’re here, but I’m pretty sure I’ve heard the bell rang just now,” she says as she keeps chewing.

“I did. To tell you the truth, I’m here to skip. Hide me, please?” I walk to the door. She stares at it, thinking, before unlocking it. I step in and sit on the floor, not wanting any passing staff to see me. Regina offers me a bag of licorice, but I just shake my head. “You seem to be stressing out. What are you trying to solve?” I ask as I take a peek at her notes.

“Nothing you should be concern off. Just math stuff,” she answers, twisting her chair lazily.

“I’m good with math as well, you know. Drawing patterns is about the right calculation,” I tell her as I skim down the notes on her desk. After a few seconds, I say, “Oh, here it is. I’ve spot the problem. You forgot to total the subtraction at the beginning.”

Regina actually arches an eyebrow at me, not believing for a second. I hand her the notes back for her to take a look at. Her eyes scan the lines suspiciously, before finally lighten up. “Wow, you’re right. Thanks for the help,” she says, before starting writing down on her notes hurriedly.

Time passes by slowly. Regina is too focused on her work to entertain me. And it really has been a while since we last talk. But that is alright. It is me who suddenly came, anyway.

When it gets to the last period, I decide to make a run for it and leave. I say my goodbye to Regina before heading out of school while the coast is clear of any other teachers or crowded students. I should be meeting Len soon. Along the way to the school gates, sakura petals rain on the pathway. That is when I feel it ─ that dark energy that seems to suck all the life that surrounds it.

The twins should not be out yet, since class is not over. They also do not seem to be the type who skip classes, since they have to keep appearances up. So who is it? Who is the demon that seems to be watching me from afar? The energy feels different.

Taking a long breathing, I catch the intense cherry blossom scent that comes from every direction. Pushing past the evaporating scent, I zoom towards that single foreign source. After quite an effort, I finally get a glimpse of it. Sweet…. vanilla scent…. rose…. No, lilac.

As soon as I identify the scent, it is gone. I look around, but find no one. It can’t be just my imagination now, can it? Besides, the only person who smells like that is….

There is another demon beside the twins. But can it really be him? Just thinking about it sends impossibilities to the soaring sky. It just can not be….

Just now my phone rings. I check it to find a new text message coming in:

_________________________________________________________________________________

From: Len Gylithan

Receiving Time: February 16, 2053, 13:47 AM

Text Message:

_________________________________________________________________________________

Sorry for the late call, but Mr. Barnas just signed the class with a sudden homework and it’s due tomorrow! I can’t meet you today, but I promise to make it up to you.

─ Len

_________________________________________________________________________________

Just my luck, I put away my phone with a sigh.

On my way home, I hear loud music coming out from somewhere near. I glance at a line of people dressed in low cuts and suits as they wait for their turn into a nightclub. The bouncer seems pretty strict on letting people in, but I know a few ways to get in without having to wait in line.

Dismissing at where my train of thoughts is going, I keep walking. But just a few steps afterwards, my nerves are already shaking. One taste and you’re out for more. This new power is tipping my scale off. It seems almost so easy to slip off. And the pounding music from the club is not helping at all. Just one dance. You’re not going to sing.

Gripping the straps of my bag, I walk pass a street light and turn into the shadow, allowing the chance of darkness to change my appearance. My lime green jacket turns black and gets remodeled into cashmere. The pink shirt underneath changes into a tight hot pink and black stripes corset. My checkerboard pattern skirt turns from green and pink to black and hot pink. My school shoes change into a pair of dark boots. And last but not least, the school bag transform into a hot pink rose handbag.

With confidence a school girl does not possess, I walk towards the entrance of the night club straight away. The bouncer only takes a single glance at my dark magenta eyes, before allowing me to pass by. My eyes stay in that shade with a while as I brisk into the dance floor.

The music changes just in time, the rhythm getting even more techno than the previous one. I throw my hands in the air and let the beat takes over. My hips swing, my body turns. There is only music and me on the dance floor. Music controls me. I control music. The energy channels back and forth, going both ways and unstoppable.

The crowd of dancing humans grows bigger as I loosen up. It gets easier and easier by the minute, and the music helps like a drug. Men come and go to offer their company, but I turn them all down, only caring about dancing. That is, until I smell that familiar lilac fragrance once more.

A firm chest presses against my backside as a cold breathe blows on my right ear. The crowd seems to move slower and the sound deafens as a voice whispers to me inhumanly.

“My, my. You’re not forgetting yourself, are you?” His voice echoes unspeakable terror, as if in any second would consume me. But I fight it off.

“Who are you?” I ask lowly. And if my senses are correct, then he should be able to hear me clearly even through the loud music.

A chuckle vibrates against my body. He closes the little remaining distance between us and whisper in my ear again, “Don’t you know already, sweetheart?”

“So it’s true then.” With that, I spin my body around. Sure enough, the face I am looking at is Len’s. But it is also not his at the same time.

His hair is not golden blonde, but green like the grass with black highlights. His eyes are not blue or soft, but emerald and are staring at me deeply. His lips do not form an innocent smile, but are so twisted that it makes his facial expression looks like one of those villains in the movies.

The person who is standing in front of me is definitely not Len, but a demon. What surprises me the most is that he is not just any demon, but a demon lord as well.

“Beelzebub,” I mutter, and in a second I feel like a cold glass of water has been sprayed at me. My lips turn into a frown and I bite my lower lip. “I should have known.”

“My, my,” he flushes our bodies together, circling his arms around my waist and the back of my head, making it looks like we are a couple on the dance floor. The song ends and a new song begins to play. And just my luck, it is a love song as well. “You seemed rather shocked to learn this. Is it because you couldn’t sense it all along before you got this new power?” he teases, laughing at his own sense of humor. I notice that this new appearance of his allow him to be slighter taller, making him stands a few millimeters higher than me.

“You were keeping an eye on me,” that comes out as a statement. “Did Lucifer tell you to do it?”

Len, or Beelzebub, twirls me around in his arms, before pulling me closer again to reply, “Why, you know me. Things do not change that much ever since the last time you came visit. He wanted to make sure that you are not plotting against him, while I personally just want to keep myself close to you. You’ve got to say, though. For a demon of pride, he sure is not one to underestimate you. After all, what is stronger than hatred, but love. And you know just how close lust is in between.”

I grip the shoulders in my palm tightly, causing my nails to sink into his flesh. He simply keeps smiling in that twisted smile of his, enjoying even every inch of the pain. “You talk too much,” I say through clenched teeth.

“Why, sweetheart?” he asks his eyebrow. “Is it because I said the word? Lust. Does it remind you too much of what you are?” One of his hands, the left one, leave the back of my head to travel down to my chin, lifting it up so that your eyes stare into each other’s. His emerald eyes are particularly burning in fascination as they bore into mine. “The demon of music, demon of lust, Saw.”