The Lies They Told Us About Balance

VII

As soon as I stepped foot on the bathroom, two smiley faces and cheers made me forget my worries for milliseconds. My kids were inside the tub full of foam on their hair and body, and Neusa almost tripped trying to stand, that made me gasp a little, but it faded away when she bursts her butt laughing, so Núria and I join her.

The moment goes away and they sit for me to bath them, while I take in their small and fragile forms and feel impotence. How would I protect them if something ever came for them? Are they capable of bargaining? What would a bargain imply? I always heard a lot about deals with demons, but what does it really take away from you? In what cases is it possible to deal, does it take a special requirement, do they take any kind of deal? If I had to take a guess, I believed that a deal could have an impact on the natural order, but demons wouldn't mind it, would they now? What I also would bet it's that they wouldn't want a deal to benefit the other part, so it would either be an exchange or the deal would have an unexpected twist to it. I still would try it if the subject were my kids. That's the thing with us humans, right? For something we cherish we would risk an unpleasant outcome for a chance for a better one.

Núria, my eldest, interrupts my thoughts:

- "Mommy, are you okay?"

- "I am baby, just a little bit tired..." - I answered. - "And how was your day?"

- "It was good mommy, teacher Goslan taught us to count to fourty!" - Neuza tells me.

- "That's awesome, love!"

- "Yes, and she scolded Joseph for trying to climb the tree when we were playing!" - she adds.

- "And the man with the big eyes was laughing when he got caught!" - Neuza informs me and I feel a chill up my spine. - "He makes fun of him crying and we all laugh!"

Instead of asking about the man, I ask about his actions to not fright them.

- "Really? And the other kids laughed of his mocking too?"

- "I don't know... He gave us a lollipop and the others were not with us." - Núria says looking at her little sister.

On that exact moment I feel useless and realise that there's no stoping that creature. It's, undoubtedly, the one I found at the park. I just know it. What I don't know it's how long I just stared at nothing, but Núria calls me and looks startled.

- "Mommy, should we stay away from the big eyed man?"

I'm not sure what came over me, but I think that if he meant to hurt them he would've done that. I don't want to put them in danger, neither to I want them to fear something that I can't explain to them, so I tell them:

- "I think that he means no harm... Did you feel good with him?

- "Yes mommy, he gave us chocolat, and told us stories!" - My littlest baby said.

- "And he told you his name?"

- "Yes, Androm... ailous?" - It was Núria whom spoke.

- "Andromalius" - I whispered, but they heard me.

- "That's it mommy!! You know him too!!" - she exclamed. - "Are you friends with him?"

He could have killed me, instead he chose to leave and let me live. What meaning could that have? I have no idea, but I feel like he's exploring my fear. He went to the kids, we was by their side and, yet again, he did not harm them, which tells me he's not planning to, or he would've done it by now. So I make my answer simple:

- "Yes baby, he's a friend."

I don't push the matter any further, instead get them out of the tub and get them dry and dressed, prepare them to bed time. I walk them to their bedroom and accommodate their tiny figures down the covers thinking how much I love them and how much I want them safe. I want it so bad that it makes me want to do something bad. Maybe not all bad, but bat sh*t crazy.

- "Good night, my angels... I love you."

- "I love you mommy." - Núria says sleepy, while Neuza it's already fast asleep.

I stand up and walk to the door. I stand still for a little bit, admiring them from afar, taking in our surroundings. I always worried so much, worked so hard to give us confort, thinking that I was doing the best. Right now, it all feels so superficial... Making me realise how fragile and powerless we really are.