Traumatized Love

Episode 8

I followed Dr. Delaney out of the room.

“Is Beth going to be okay?” I asked her.

“Yeah, she’s very strong and she’s doing great. We just need to observe her for a few days before she can be discharged.”

“I’d like to ask, mentally and emotionally, will she be alright?”

Dr. Delaney sighed, “For someone like her to go through so much, she may suffer from PTSD. I’ll talk to her again later to assess her mental status and refer to a counselor if needed.”

“Thank you so much doctor.”

“No problem,” she smiled and walked away.

I went back into Beth’s room. Beth was quiet as she looked out the window.

“Beth, the doctor said you’ll be alright. You don’t have to worry too much,” I assured her.

She turned to look at me with weary and sad eyes.

“Yes, I guess I’ll be alright eventually.”

“Okay, well I’m going to let you rest. Do you need anything else?” I asked.

“No, it’s okay. You should go rest too.”

I squeezed her hand and gave her a smile. And then I left to return to my room.

-Beth’s POV-

I woke up feeling rested and refreshed. I looked out the window. It looks like it was late afternoon. I’ve been in and out of sleep the whole of yesterday and this morning. I felt much better today. I didn’t feel any pain and I was comfortable. I tried to get up and leaned back. There was a moment of peace which I felt and I was grateful to be alive. But this feeling didn’t last long and I suddenly felt all the worry and anxiety engulfing me from the inside. Suddenly, I felt suffocated and started to breath heavily. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths to calm myself down. I kept telling myself over and over agin that everything would be fine. But deep down, I knew I wasn’t fine. I heard a knock on the door. I opened my eyes to see Steven standing there.

“Hey, Beth,” he called out. “Am I disturbing?”

“No,” I replied.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

I paused before answering, “I’m fine.”

Somehow seeing him makes me feel at ease. Maybe it’s because we went through a lot together and he saved my life. Steven came to sit by my bed. He was dressed in a casual shirt and pants.

“Are you discharged?” I asked.

“Yes, I am. You look better today. I came over this morning but you were asleep, so I didn’t want to disturb,” he told me.

“You did? I didn’t know. And yea I feel much better and more rested.”

“That’s great. I spoke to Dr. Delaney, she said you probably have to stay here for a couple more days.”

We were quiet for a moment not knowing what to say.

“Well, I just wanted to come see you before I leave,” Steven continued.

“Thanks for coming Steven,” I said.

“No problem. I’ll come and visit you again tomorrow alright? Please rest well and I hope you’ll get better.”

“Thank you. You don’t have to worry about me,” I forced a smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Steven said taking my hand and squeezing it.

“Alright.”

I was left alone again and suddenly I had a tight feeling in my chest again. I was going into a panic attack. I took deep breaths waiting for the tightness to fade. It took me a few minutes before I felt calm again.

Dr. Delaney came into my room then.

“Good evening Beth. How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Umm, I feel some tightness in my chest but other than that I’m feeling alright,” I answered.

“Do you feel any pain? Do you have difficulty sleeping at night?” she asked further.

“I don’t feel any pain right now. I do have nightmares when I’m sleeping though. It does wake me up at night.”

“Okay, well your blood tests all came back normal. You don’t have anemia, no signs of infection and all the other tests are within the normal range. So overall you’re recovering well,” she said pausing awhile.

“However, from what you told me, it seems like you might be experiencing PTSD. It’s normal for someone who has been through what you have. There is treatment for sleeping disorder and anxiety. If you’re okay with it, I can refer you to a counselor or a psychiatrist as well,” Dr. Delaney explained.

“I understand. If it’s okay, can you prescribed me with some painkillers and sleeping pills?” I asked.

“Of course but you do know the effects of taking benzodiazepines for sleeping right?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m aware of that. I’ll take it only when necessary.”

“Alright. Do you want me to refer you to a counselor? It would really help if you talk to someone.”

“Yeah, sure, why not,” I told her.

“Okay if there’s no other problems, we’ll observe you for another two days before you can be discharged.”

“Sure, thank you Dr. Delaney.”

Dr. Delaney smiles and left the room. I was back to being alone wondering what the future will hold for me. What am I going to do here in this foreign country? How am I going to live my life now? The tightness in my chest started again and I thought it was probably a good idea for me to talk to a counselor after all.