Episode 9
804 Words
The next day, the counselor came to see me in the morning. At first, we talked mostly about my background and how I came to serve as a doctor in Camden. It felt good to talk to someone and to discuss about my problems and worry. It was difficult to talk about being r***d and the fact that I almost died in Camden. I also mentioned about my panic attack and the nightmares I have at night. I’ve never felt like his before. Even though I came from a poor family and I watched my mother single handedly raise me up by herself, nothing prepared me for what I’ve gone through. I’ve seen my own fair share of war, fighting and crimes committed by the Military Order in Camden. I just didn’t expect to be a part of it as well. The counselor told me that different people manage their PTSD differently and that I just needed to find my own way to manage it comfortably. Some who manage to keep it under control continue to lead a normal life while others resort to alcohol, drugs and crime to manage their traumatic life. I made up my mind that I would be strong and face this obstacle in my life with determination like I have always done.
After lunch, I decided to go out for a walk as I felt suffocated staying in my room. The hospital was situated in the suburbs with plenty of land surrounding it. There was a small lake adjacent to the hospital overlooking the city skyline. I took a seat by the lake observing the surrounding nature. It was peaceful and nice. I haven’t been in a peaceful place for some time, so I really appreciated it right now.
“Thought I’d find you here,” a familiar voice called out.
I turned to see Steven walking up and taking a seat next to me.
“I went to your room and you weren’t there. What are you doing here?” he asked me.
“I just wanted to get some fresh air. I feel suffocated lately.”
He put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
“You’ll get through this, I’m sure,” he tried to reassure me.
I could only look at him and nod my head.
“I hope so,” I said softly.
“Well, look on the bright side, Dr. Delaney said you can be discharged tomorrow,” Steven said.
“Yes, she told me this morning.”
“I was just wondering,” Steven started saying. “My sister has an apartment in the outskirts of the city. It’s vacant, so I thought you could stay there for now. I mean until you get yourself settled down and all. You can stay there as long as you need.”
I looked at him, “Steven, I don’t want to intrude....”
He cut me off, “You’re not intruding, I spoke to Amanda and we want to help you, to make you feel welcome and have a comfortable life here,” Steven said.
“Look, the US government would probably grant you refugee status and with it a monthly allowance which should be sufficient to support yourself. Plus, you don’t have anyone else. Please accept our help,” Steven said pleading me. “You can stay at our apartment until you decide what to do with your life.”
Thinking about the present is already making me anxious. I can’t imagine thinking about the future. The future is what’s worrying me the most. What will I do when I leave the hospital? I have nowhere to go. All this worry is making me feel overwhelmed. I didn’t realize that my eyes started to tear up blurring my vision.
“Hey, hey Beth. Please don’t cry,” Steven said putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.”
I wiped away my tears. “It’s not your fault. I was worried about so many things and now it seems like you just provided a solution for everything. I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t think any further. Just say yes and let us help you.”
I couldn’t stop my tears from streaming down my face. I’ve been an independent person that I thought I would never need anyone’s help all these years. Even after my mother passed away, I never told anyone for fear of other people having sympathy and pity for me. I didn’t have any words to say right now. All I could do was nod my head.
“Thank you,” I said. “Thank you so much.”
Steven held me in his arms and rubbed my back to comfort me.
“Don’t mention it.”
- Writer
