Traumatized Love

Episode 12

I didn’t know how long we laid there but it must have passed lunch time. I dozed off for awhile and when I woke up, Steven was still there next to me.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” he asked.

I didn’t know what to say because I wanted to say I was okay but I’m actually not. So I kept quiet.

“Do you want to go home?” he asked.

I nodded my head.

“Okay, I’ll take you home.”

I got up and went to the bathroom to wash my face. When I looked in the mirror, my face was red and puffy and my eyes look swollen. Looking at my pathetic self make me want to cry again. But I tried to keep it in and splashed some cold water on my face hoping that the coldness would numb my feelings.

As we headed downstairs, the house was getting quiet. Most of the guests have left and there were a few lingering around. Amanda approaches me carefully and took my hand.

“Are you hungry, dear?” she asked. “Do you want to eat something first before you leave?”

“No, I’m not hungry. But I’d like a glass of water if you don’t mind.”

“Sure, of course.”

I gulped down the whole glass in one go. And then I stood there waiting for Steven. Amanda packed us some food to take home. I felt guilty for spoiling the party.

“I’m so sorry for spoiling the party,” I began, my eyes began to tear up.

“Beth, it’s okay. You don’t have to worry about anything. Just go home and get plenty of rest alright?” Amanda said comforting me. “And if you need anything, even if you need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to call me.”

She gave me a hug and held me tight. I felt so sorry for being like this. Steven came to lead me out as Amanda saw us off at the door.

“I’m so sorry for ruining this,” I said again.

“It’s alright, dear. Take care of yourself okay. I’ll come and stop by for a visit ina few days if it’s alright with you,” Amanda said.

I nodded my head and hugged her back apologizing again.

It was late afternoon when we reached back to the apartment. I felt tired emotionally and mentally that I went straight into my room. Somehow, I still couldn’t get my mind off what I saw in the news. The choking feeling in my throat and chest began again. I felt like I was going to break down again. I went into the bathroom turning on the shower and sat in the floor letting the cold water cascade over me hoping to numb the pain and wash away my tears.

-Steven’s POV-

I didn’t expect the events to turn out like this tonight. I didn’t know news of the situation in Camden would affect Beth in such a way. I have seen my fair share of breakdowns and moments of despair among soldiers but I was surprised to see someone like Beth to react this way. What I didn’t expect was how I reacted to it. My heart broke seeing her this way. All I wanted to do was to comfort her, console her and hold her tight until she stopped crying. I couldn’t bear to see someone so strong like Beth to suffer like that.

We were quiet in the car when I drove her back to the apartment. I didn’t know what to say to her. I didn’t think any words would able to comfort her. She went straight into her room after we entered the apartment. And then I heard the sound of the shower turning on. I suppose she’s taking a bath. I took out the food Amanda packed for us and started eating because I felt hungry as I barely ate today.

After I finished eating, I cleaned up and put the leftover food in the fridge for Beth just in case she wanted to eat later. I could still her the shower on in her bathroom. It should have been around twenty minutes since she started showering. All of a sudden, a thought flashed through my mind, and I started to get worried.

I went and knocked on the door, “Beth? Are you in there?”

There was no answer.

“I’m coming in,” I said.

I slowly open the door. No one was in the room. I started to panic. The sound of the shower was still coming from the bathroom. I went to knock on the bathroom door.

“Beth, are you alright?”

No answer again.

I opened the door slowly to peak inside. I saw a figure on the floor in the shower stall. I quickly went in to turn off the shower. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Beth who is shivering in the floor. I carried her into the room and put her on the bed. I quickly dried her as best as possible including her hair.

“Beth, are you alright? Beth, look at me please,” I told her.

The look she gave me was of hurt, despair and sadness. It hurts me to see her like this.

“Let’s get you changed. You’ll freeze in this clothes.”

I quickly searched for something in the drawers and decided on a sweatpants and hoodie. I carefully remove her clothes and put the dried ones on. I tried my best not to look at her naked body. She didn’t resist and just allowed me to undress her. I continued to wipe her hair. And then she leaned her head in my chest and tears started steaming down her face. All I could do was rub her back and hold her.

“Come one, lets put you in bed,” I said.

I laid her down and tuck the comforter around her. I was about to leave when she grabbed my hand.

“Stay, please,” she said softly.

I couldn’t resist, “Okay,” I replied.

I slipped under the comforter next to her and held her until she fell asleep. Soon, I fell asleep too.