Chapter Thirty-One
James Bond and More
Accept what you feel; it’s your secret.
The day Mavis’s mother’s doctor told her that she had a year at the most, she, according to the carer, snapped. She decided to shock, annoy, and behave badly. She spent her last year wearing odd socks, eating chocolate, and demanding chilli in everything – then spitting it out and saying it was too hot.
“I want to experience everything like never before,” she said. “I want to piss people off and a noisy funeral. No hymns, just Neil Diamond and Mavis swinging her scarf.”
She even wrote it in her will:
“Mavis must dance, or I will come back and curdle your cream, swell your bunions, and haunt you like there’s no tomorrow.”
The doctor said it was the drugs talking. Fanny blamed her dementia, while Mavis hadn
