Loving Her

CHAPTER 1 ‘Shero P.O.V’ “What am I? It’s your fault! If you hadn’t gambled, the money we saved wouldn’t have been used up,” I closed my eyes because of mom’s shout at dad. This is the scenario I encounter every time I come home from school and the market. I snorted loudly so that they would notice me. They both looked in my direction. “Oh, you’re home.” Mom’s mouth, my step mother. I wanted to answer and block it but I just kept my mouth shut and nodded. “How much did you sell?” dad asked. I turned here and gave the fish I sold earlier in the market. Every Saturday and week I sell at the fish market, on the sideline to supplement our daily living and to be my pocket money for school. I only gave half of my salary to my father and the other half was for me. “Why only this?” papa asked and put two hundred right in my face. “That’s the only salary I was given,” I answered and backed away slightly. “What else do you expect from that boy? Of course nothing, he won’t imitate his brother Gelo, he’s already in another country and can work well and help us while your son likes him? There’s no use at all,” continued- mom’s next cry, I bowed to the hurtful words she said but I won’t cry, not anymore. “Leave it, for now, I’ll miss it. Next time, just give me a bigger amount,” dad spoke and then left in front of me and left the house. “Oh, what are you looking at? Cook dinner,” mom ordered, I just nodded and walked to the kitchen. I sighed before washing my hands in the sink. I’m used to what they say every day. That I’m useless and I’m always compared to my older brother who is in another country. What else could I expect? Do they praise and notice what I do? Even if I clean the whole house and give millions if any, they still see me as useless. Later that night I will play a racket to add to my savings and give to dad. I brought home some tilapia, it was left over from my merchandise earlier and was just given to me when the owner of the fish I sold at the market. I even cleaned it and washed it before cooking, I’m going to cook it passively, because I’m afraid to fry it. While cooking, I also cooked the rice on the other stove so that while cooking the dish, I was also cooking rice for us. After finishing, I prepared the dishes, glasses, cutlery on the table and called mom and dad. After they sat down at the dining table, they immediately started eating while I prayed fervently before eating. “Are you coming in later?” mom asked. I chewed before nodding. “Yes.” “Well, it should be,” he answered and continued eating. When they finished eating, they just left and left me eating, I just finished the meal with a sigh. I also washed the dishes because there was nothing I could hope to do. I went to my small room and got a towel and a change, I had to take a shower and change because I still smell like fish, it’s embarrassing to go to the bakery if I smell like fish. I was about to leave when I noticed that mom and dad were gone, they probably left and went somewhere. I just sighed and closed the door before walking away. I walked to the corner and stopped to wait for a tricycle to pass. After waiting for a while, a tricycle passed by, I got on the outside because it was full of passengers inside. The tricycle I was riding stopped in front of a bakery, not far from the place where I worked. I paid the fare before walking away and to the lugawan. I went inside and was greeted by Aling Betty, the owner of the lugawan. It made me smile. “It’s good that you’re here, Marlo isn’t here yet, Marla is probably late again, go ahead and take care of the other customers, there’s more and more.” I just nodded in response and walked into a door, and there I saw Manong Berting the cook, this is the one who cooks the porridge, this is also Aling Betty’s husband. I took the black apron hanging on the side and put it on, I took the four trays, and laid them on the big table, I took the bowls with only porridge and put them on the tray on the table. “Take this list of orders here next to me, so you know who to give the orders to,” Manong Berting ordered, I silently nodded and walked closer to him, then I took the list that was right next to him . I looked at it for a moment and read it before I put it in my apron pocket. I picked up a tray with only porridge then walked out of the room. I placed five bowls of porridge on the first table. “Five orders of porridge, do you have anything to add?” I asked in a serious voice. One raised his hand. “Do you have soup?” one of them asked, I nodded before leaving. I went back inside and told Mang Berting about the five broths. I took a bowl to put the soup in and handed it to Mang Berting. I also took another tray and put the bowls full of soup there. I went out again and put the soups in the bowl on the beggars’ table. I turned around and went back inside, I took the porridge that was in the bowl and put it back on the tray and then I delivered it to the customers who were waiting, that was the routine. I am the one who gives orders and asks those who come what and how much to buy. “Ghurl, what else?” Marla, my gay colleague at work. It’s even better because it’s ready to accept customers’ payments. “Doesn’t look like it?” my lifeless voice asked back. It bothered me. “Is fighting.” “Tsk,” we’re going to close, because it’s past twelve in the morning and there are no customers. I continued wiping the table and arranging the chairs. … Marla and I walked together on our way to the tricycle parking lot. “Ghurl?” he called, I didn’t look at him and kept my eyes focused on what was going on. “You’re naughty.” “I wish I had something to say, you don’t want to listen,” he said, I just held my breath because of his chatter. “But even if you don’t want to listen, I’ll still miss you.” “Stop me Marlo.” “What Marlo? Marla, Marla not Marlo, remember that May,” she said as if it was a big deal for her, I stopped for a moment and looked at her. “What did your mother name you?” I asked and snorted at my faded pants. “Marlo,” he answered. “Oh, it’s Marlo not Marla,” I said seriously, he hit me on the shoulder and made me suffer. “Marla, because you call me, you fool! My beauty is stressing you out,” he said with difficulty. “This is what I’m going to tell you-.” I cut him off. “Stop me, I don’t want to listen to your unintelligible gossip.” It sneered. “When have I ever gossiped about something unbelievable? Hey, it’s true, that’s right, I saw a handsome and handsome man earlier and I think he’s the true love of my life.” I gasped for air. “That’s the gossip?” I will ask. Smiling and seemingly thrilled, he nodded one after another. I nodded and walked away, leaving him. “Hey ghurl, wait! Echoss!” it shouted and chased me. I was holding my neck because of holding it while bending down. I closed my eyes before continuing to walk. “Hey are you alright?” asked Marla. I nodded. “It’s fine,” I answered shortly. We both rode tricycles, luckily there was someone watching at this time. Marla’s house will come first, than our house. As soon as he got off right in front of their house, he threatened the driver we were riding in one after the other. “Hey man, maybe you’re a r****t? Take my friend home safely to their place.” I closed my eyes to what the gay said, his innocent mouth was embarrassing. … I got home safe and sound, the door was closed and it was dark inside. I tried to turn the door knob but it was locked. I sighed and walked to the back of the house to enter the house. I went to my small room and took off my shoes, I was tired and lay on the bed. It’s tiring, but I can handle it. I closed my eyes until I was swallowed by sleepiness and completely fell asleep. … It’s just past five o’clock when I wake up, I have to go to school. I’m a Senior High School student and I can’t neglect my studies because it’s for Kuya Gelo. This is my promise to him before he left for another country, to continue and finish his education. I cooked breakfast for us then I ate too. I left what I cooked on the table and covered it before taking a shower. After taking a shower, I was in the bathroom and dressed in a uniform to enter. I was wearing a fitted plain skirt and a white polo shirt mixed with gray as the upper uniform, I held my breath. To this day, I’m still not comfortable in my uniform, the short skirt as if the seamstress ran out of fabric. I also have to wear skintone stockings, to cover my stretch marks on the back of my leg, I got them when I gained weight and scratched every time I had my period. I held my breath before putting on the two inch black shoes. I took my bag from the side of my bed and slung it over my left shoulder before leaving the room. I knocked twice on the door of papa’s room. “I’m leaving,” I said goodbye and walked out of the house after closing it. I looked at my wristwatch before sighing, I don’t seem to be late today. I will wait at the corner for a tricycle that I can ride to school because there are no tricycles in the parking lot here in our barangay. I quickly backed up when a speeding car passed in front of me, luckily it didn’t hit me. Very rude on the road! I took a deep breath and adjusted my backpack. Just in time, a tricycle stopped in front of me so I got on it.