Messed up teenagers
When you grow up in a messed-up generation there are certain things you do that’s a part of life. Just because other people don’t live that way that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Everyone has different views and expectations of what life is supposed to look like. Whether we are still in school reading this or as we are adults. When you’re in school you’re still trying to figure out who you are. When you’re in high school you think about who you’re going to become and who you’re going to marry one day; usually it’s the guy or the girl you’ve been in love with since elementary school. Unless you’re not like me, because if you’re not then I guess you’re normal. You see when I was younger, I thought I knew everything, I thought I had my whole life planned out. My best friend Anna and I use to sit down and talk about how our lives were going to go. Who we were going to marry, and who our kids would be one day. I think about those times and I miss it, but I wouldn’t change where I am today.
I ended up in rehab by the time I was six-teen years old; and relapsed again at seventeen. I was addicted to hydrocodone’s and alcohol, but mostly alcohol. I started drinking by the time I was twelve. I guess you could say that I started young but to be honest, that’s when a lot of kids start drinking where I am from. You see no one really cares where you end up, or who you are going to be. The people who say that they are looking out for you, really only look out for themselves; unless your parents actually gave a s**t about you and cared about what you were going through during your adolescence. It turns out that once you let someone in who cares about you your life changes, not just a little bit but drastically. Take it from me, I was an almost drop out want to be tattoo artist with no future and almost nowhere to go. My life started when I met the love of my life, I was seventeen two months away from turning eighteen.
It was the summer in 2017 and I had this boyfriend his name was Derek, we never did anything but we did drugs and drank together. That’s all I cared about wanting at that time. I never really cared about finding real love, as long as I had a supply of whatever I wanted, I was happy. Substitution was the best thing in the world for me. At the time Derek and I would sneak around and drive with nowhere to go, listen to music, and do the regular teenager s**t that everyone does. Especially if you’re friends are just as messed up as you are.
He got me a job at the local Jimmy Johns and the only reason I got the job was because I tricked the managers that I was a nice person with a good attitude. When in reality, I was only interested in one thing; getting drugs and alcohol, mostly alcohol on a regular basis no questions asked. When I first started the job, everything was great, alcohol was coming in just as fast as I would get my paycheck. I was showing up drunk and high on pills and weed but I was still working and they were short staffed so technically they couldn’t fire me. Not to mention they were selling meth out the building to their local customers so if they did fire me, they’d be hypocritical not that they would’ve really cared, but I’m not a snitch. Even though I was pretty sure Derek and the manager Kay were f*****g I honestly didn’t really care all that much, either that or I was just blindsided because I got what I wanted and got out each day. Everything was great until one day my managers told me that they were leaving and a new manager was going to be in charge. So basically, f**k my life right. You see I wouldn’t have cared as much as I did about them leaving but, even though I was drunk they still let me work there.
After long weekends of drinking and snorting hydro’s it was time to go back to school. I was junior in high school and, was I f****d up from basically every weekend ever. Some people told me that if I didn’t slow down that bad things were going to happen. I didn’t listen to them, instead I would ghost anyone who crossed me or said something I didn’t like. I lost a lot of friends that year. Anna and I grew apart for the gist of it and Rebecca well we drank together. Rebecca was never really interested in doing drugs with me, I had to do that on my own time. She never said anything to me, I think she was too drunk to notice most of the time. When Rebecca and I wouldn’t be together which was mostly all the time, she was with a new guy or multiple. She was always surrounded by guys from our school. She was kind of a slut and she really liked it that way. She figured if guys could use her for s*x, then she could do the same thing to them. As for me well, I was a virgin I cared about when my next fix was going to be and who’s party had what.
Now you may be wonder where are these girls’ parents? The truth is I had them I just did whatever I wanted. My dad was on meth and my mom lived in another state. I got grounded regularly which didn’t stop Derek and I from doing our usual drive around with nowhere to go besides Rebecca’s house who just happened to set us up together to begin with. At Rebecca’s house we drank, smoked a little weed and drove until we basically ran out of gas, then drove around some more until the sun came up, along with the occasional breaking into people’s houses just for fun. Okay actually looking back at it, that was mostly just me. Now before you get all judgmental and ask yourself “what the f**k?” I only did it a handful of times. The first time was just to see what it was like, the second time was to mess with someone who had done me wrong, the rest of the time, well those times were just for fun.
