Enduring the Storm

Chapter 8 Time For Discovering Myself

Brooke's POV

For the past 4, almost 5 months of having this boat in my possession, I have tried not to let the stresses of my life get me down, so to deter my depressing thoughts, I just kept my nose glued straight into the books that my father provided for me in every drawer on this boat. So I spent the nights when I would be lying back and relaxing, just studying those maps and the books that tell me how to drive the boat, where to go with it and how to take care of my boat from here on out. My boat, I have really been loving the sound of that.

I was worried when I first acquired the boat, that this was all like a dream that would quickly turn to a nightmare. I was looking over my shoulder, thinking that one of the people from my father's side of the family would come and take the boat away just to sell it for their own gain.. It's not like my fears were unjustified because they yelled that sentiment many times to one another before I even left the residence.. but it never happened.. Thankfully.

The lawyer did say that different members of the family, that I had seen that day of the will reading, came by his office many times to try to get claim the boat for themselves. So he called me to warn me that I might see them.. but he also told me if I did, to call him right away and that he would take care of it. But he said that they tried to get the location of the boat as well and that he never gave it up. Which is intriguing to why they would need the location, unless they never spent quality time with our father. Maybe he never invited them along.. But who knows.

I would assume that they never went with our father to go fishing or anything, because they kept trying to get the location of the boat from him, but as far as I know he never gave it up, since they never showed up. So now that it has been months of this boat being all mine, with me being on my boat, by myself and doing what I want with it, I have gotten really comfortable here. Even comfortable enough to talk with the men that come out here often to fish or take care of their boats.

I see them quite often around the docks, where it has become a first-name basis. It has even become so familiar with them that we have had dinner and lunch together.. They have even given me things from their boats that they don't want anymore, but are still useful, so I have been slowly upgrading my boat too. They even know about my situation and don't make me feel bad for not having anywhere else to live. Some even live on their boats too, and the others tell me they wish they could do the same but that their wives wouldn't like it.

All of these people started out as strangers and have slowly become friends because they are such great people with genuine and kind hearts, at least that I can tell. It helps that I can talk with them honestly about my life and the hard trials I have been going through and not once have they seemed judgemental. They don't even judge the fact that the only reason I have this boat and a place to live is because my father gave it to me in his passing. They have found out through our long conversations that I am not a spoiled brat having everything given to me, that I am a hard worker, just trying to survive and that this has helped me in so many ways.

It has helped to get my stresses off my chest with them. I have even been talking about the job situation, that I can't stop beating myself up about it.. But they still haven't judged the fact that I don't have a job yet.. Some have even tried to help me out in that aspect, but nothing has come of it yet.. it was just nice that they tried.. I might not be what those companies are looking for, so I won't blame them.

But I haven't been trying as hard to find a job as I was a couple of months ago, if we are being honest. I have been loving the nautical life, so it has been helping take my mind off of things while stress relieving, which is all that I need right now. But since I still don't have a job, I have been spending all my time on the boat learning anything and everything I can, while going out and practicing as much as I can with the boat, which has helped save me money since I take care of food for myself.. and sometimes I even go with my new friends. We will take all of our boats out and we will fish and boat in groups. It's been great. I never knew people did things like this and so happy I was given the chance to experience this for myself.

I am really starting to think that I am a nautical type of gal, through and through.. or seeming like a mermaid as the men around here state. They think I was born a water baby whether I was around it or not as a child, because all of the things they have taught me I have learned almost instantly, with little practice, as if I have been doing this all of my life. From the tying of new knots, to learning about the compass and reading maps. Learning about the water, night sky and wind to indicate what it tells us by what it is portraying. That is the same for the fish.. everything seemed to come to me easier than I had imagined it would and obviously that was the same for them.

That doesn't mean that, because I picked it up quickly, that I won't continue to practice it, because I have been dedicating myself to every single thing they have taught me thus far, practicing these techniques every day. They do continue to keep showing me new things, to either give me more to learn for my boating or to try to stump me, but since I haven't been stumped yet, I'm just learning more and more.

These past couple of months have given me a confidence within myself that I never thought I would acquire in a lifetime. It makes me feel almost brilliant, talented, and strong. It's hard for me to confidently think this, since I haven't ever thought that about myself, but it seems to be getting easier as time goes on with the more I can learn. So much so, that being out on the water has been turning into all that I want to do. I think about being out on the water every single day, not wanting anything else for myself. So I continue to go out on my boat every day if I can, either by myself or with friends. It doesn't matter to me who comes, all that matters is that I go.

So, after another long day out on the water, fishing and sailing the sea waters as if they were always mine, riding the waves and enjoying the scent of fresh breezes and sea brings. I find myself not wanting to dock at the same place I always have. I want to keep going.. Why do I have to stop? I don't think I should have to. Coming back to this same place has been irritating since I just want to be out on the water. Don't get me wrong. I like the people here, I just find myself not wanting to be partially out on the water any longer. I think I want to do this full time.

I think about this for a long moment as I am tying my boat back up to the docks. It's a hard decision to make when I am so new to this.. But I can't help those thoughts from invading my mind, almost every single day. I don't have anything to tie me to this place anyway, so why not? I can't think of a single reason why not.

The cleat hitch knot is secured, so I leave the dock by stepping back onto my boat as I plop down on my little couch that wraps around one corner. I sit in the silence letting my future plans raid my mind as I consider all the possibilities.. But I really think this could be the best option to start over elsewhere, giving me a taste of something new and interesting like I always wanted but never had the opportunity to do for myself until this boat came into my possession. It's something I can't seem to stop considering, no matter how much my logic is telling me that I should. It's easier said than done right now.

A knocking is heard on the window of my door as my eyes are brought back from my daydreaming and to the older man that has contributed a plethora of advice and items for my beautiful little home. I wave at him as I stand up and making my way to the locked door so he can gain entrance to this place. "Hey Jefferson, how was your day?" I ask while opening the door and letting him in. He has to duck down because he is so tall, staying hunched most of the way through the little room before he is able to have a seat on my couch to give his bending neck a break from the awkward stance.

Once he is comfortable, he lets out a deep breath to state, "It was good, nice day.. only a little choppy out there but I wasn't getting any bites. I tried for hours but nothing was catching so I gave up.. What about you?" he asks me as I shrug my shoulders. "I caught a couple but I was just practicing more with my boat if anything.. Oh, speaking of.. I almost forgot.. here is your butterfly knife back.. I appreciate you letting me borrow it.. I love it and need to get me one of my own." I state reaching over to hand him the folded-up knife. He reaches over but instead of taking the knife, he just closes my hand around the metal of the folded knife.

I feel my eyebrows furrowing, not understanding as he explains. "I think you should keep it Brooke.. You will use it more than I do and I would bet money it will help you more than it ever has for me. That thing was just collecting dust in my boat, but in yours it's being used and that's the reason for its purchase." He says this as I shake my head at that comment.. It's nice and I do want this, but it's hard for me to accept any type of gift from anyone, it doesn't matter who it is. I feel like it's just a part of a pity party for me.. and I hate pity.

I try to hand it back but he just pushes my hand back towards my body. "I want you to have it Brooke.. It's fine I swear." he says this to me as I look from his smiling face and down to the knife in my hands as I fidget with it between my fingertips. "Ok, fine.. just because I love it so much.. so.. Thank you.. I really do appreciate it." I say to him as he smiles then nods. "No problem.. I have to get going.. I just saw you docking and wanted to check in.. but I have dinner with the wifey.. did you want to join us?" He asks so nicely but I hate being the third wheel to any party, even though I know that his wife likes me, I still don't want to intrude.

"No thank you.. I have my fish I have to filet and then cook, but thanks anyway. Make sure to tell Tammy hi for me though." I state as he smiles then nods in understanding. "Ok will do, I hope you have a great night." He gets up, giving me a side hug as he leaves me there to descale, gut and filet this fish. That takes a while for me to do this for multiple fish, but I have been getting better as it over time.