Energy of the Omega by CA Clarke, exclusively to Dreame
Mama Cassandra’s memories (20 years ago)
I have been one with my wolf for nearly three months, just running, always running.
I left in the middle of the day taking nothing with me. It was safer that way, hoping beyond hope that if my things were undisturbed it would take longer for him to notice I was actually missing, rather than just evading him as was my usual. I had never made any plans to escape. My dismal state was still always better than the alternative. I had the safety of the pack after all, and being a rogue on my own terrified me.
I had even garnered some favour with the Alpha. As an Omega, I was over the moon that the Alpha had singled me out as his special love. He didn’t hide me away, he openly paraded me amongst his pack. Everyone knew that I was his, and his alone. I stayed in his home, rather than the packhouse. I no longer had to waste my days working in the kitchens, I had to save my energy for him. Instead, I had people who dressed me, groomed me, and pampered me. Every morning I went from my very plain self to a decorated beauty. I accompanied him everywhere he went. He said he wanted to make all the other Alpha’s jealous. He said that I made him feel powerful, even though he was already a powerful man.
My Alpha had always been a scary man. He was very demanding, constantly frustrated, and quick to anger. I was the only one who could keep him calm. His Beta only placated him. Not even his bond with his Luna mattered to him anymore. Each night he came to me, and I would do whatever I could to keep him happy. Every night I felt him draining me.
I was so tired all the time. I didn’t have the energy to follow him everywhere, so I sometimes hid while he was working just to go have a nap. When I was with him I just felt so sick. Because of it, I wasn’t able to keep his anger under control at all, and it frightened me. I became weary of him, and he was beginning to see that.
I was sent to the Doctor. All it took was one blood test. I was pregnant. My body was just trying to keep the life inside me safe and healthy. I was young and I was scared. This was not welcome news. He already had a mate, his Luna. He didn’t like that my child would take my time and energy away from him. That’s when I knew I wanted to protect this baby. From him.
The Doctor asked me to stay to complete more tests. I did so, but the Alpha did not care to stay with me. He didn’t come back for me either. I told the doctor I felt tired, I was going back to my room. She agreed that it was probably the best thing for me.
I walked back towards the house, and when I saw he wasn’t home. I didn’t feel tired anymore, so I just kept walking. I walked to the edge of the tree line. I then walked to the lake that was just over into neutral territory. I removed my clothes and went for a swim. I thought about what having a baby would mean for me. I worried about what he would do. I even closed my eyes and thought about sinking myself to the bottom of the lake.
I was surprised by what came to my mind. ‘You want this baby. Shift and run. Just keep running.’
I know it’s not safe to shift while pregnant, and most she-wolves will try to avoid it. Your wolf is like an instinct, it’s hard to ignore that presence in your head. It may seem impulsive, but it is never wrong. I had to trust her to keep us both safe. I shifted while I was still in the water, my wolf trying to lessen the very scent she puts off. I knew it was because he would try to follow me. So I ran.
At least two full moon cycles have come and gone. I have no idea where I am, I just tried to travel north. I stayed in the forest. My wolf kept me warm and fed. I knew that needed to stay on high alert, several times I felt I was still being followed. He did not destroy my link with the pack, so I knew he was still looking for me. It also helped me though. I still had my scent, not the tell-tale stench of a rogue. Sometimes I would need to cross another pack’s territory, so I would wait for daylight, mask my scent as much as I possibly could, and try my best to speed through the land. I was very lucky to never have been caught. I felt there were times when the Moon Goddess must be looking out for me, and for that, I was very grateful. There were even times when I was dead asleep, and my dreams would say to run, so I would wake up and run.
Being a wolf for so long was changing me. I felt the constant tension in my body was less about my heightened state of awareness, and more like burning paranoia. My wolf was driving me to keep running, no longer away from him but toward something.
Running, I was always running. Today my luck ran out.
I was extremely careful trying to pass through this territory. I had watched for patrols all night long. For a day and a half, I studied their movements. Far better security than many of the other packs I ventured through. I had hoped the presence of the guards would lessen in the day time, but that was not the case. I was feeling anxious to keep on moving. When I noticed a break in the tree-line I had no other choice but to take it.
I didn’t even see another wolf until it was right in front of me. Two more came in behind me, snarling but not barring their teeth to bite. One of the shifted back into their human form and demanded that I shift.
I couldn’t! What about the baby! I was probably in the last phase of my pregnancy by now. I panicked and simply refused.
“Shift!” he tried to command me. It was a painful ringing in my head, and I whimpered and laid down in the cool grass. I watched him try to mind-link someone. We stayed at this impasse until another wolf appeared. She changed into a man’s t-shirt and shorts before approaching me. I immediately felt the power she held.
“Luna, you should have awaited for more guards to attend you.” He said to her.
“This wolf is in distress and I need to know why,” She simply stated. When she approached me, he reached out to hold her by the wrist. He was trying to be careful not to hurt her.
“Let go,” she commanded, “I have every faith that you can protect me, you don’t need to hold my hand.” She softly chuckled at him.
“We have not ascertained the reason this wolf is on our territory. She could be a rogue or a spy.” He chastised. She did not seem to appreciate the tone of his voice.
“I find it highly unlikely that she is either of those things.” She crouched down to look directly in my eyes. “You’re scared, aren’t you?”
“As she should be, Luna. She is on our pack’s territory. We will put her in the cells until she shifts so we can question her!” he stated firmly. I only whimpered in response. I wriggled around to turn onto my back. The two wolves who hadn’t shifted growled at me, and the shifted guard tried to stand between the Luna and me. I whined in pitifully.
The Luna pushed past him and knelt beside me. She stroked my fur a few times and rested her hand on top of my side. She closed her eyes. She was listening for something. “It’s alright young one, I know how to help.” She stood up and faced the guards.
“We are taking her to the infirmary.”
“We can’t take her inside the pack-house, we need to ensure the safety of the others! Alpha Darius would never agree to this. Besides, she doesn’t look injured to me.”
“Well it’s a good thing he’s not here then, isn’t it? What my husband would never agree to is allowing the guards to go against my wishes. I don’t know why you are so worried, he’ll know it was my doing anyways.” She sighed in frustration.
She knelt beside me once more and rubbed my muzzle as she whispered in my ear, “I need you to come to the infirmary with me. I’m sure you would feel more comfortable shifting in front of our Doctor in your condition.” She knew! I know she was concerned about the pup. I was so happy I started to lick her hand.
She stood up and spoke to the guards, “She isn’t injured. She’s a teenage she-wolf who’s pregnant and scared. We are going to see the Doctor. One of you can come with me, and the other two of you need to get back on patrol.” She didn’t even wait for a response, she just gracefully moved towards the house and I bounded after her.