A walk between worlds

Intervention

CHAPTER 9

Intervention

When we got inside.  I took off my coat and boots and started the fire.  Shawn walked over to me and without a word between us, he took me in his arms and started to kiss me.  “Leigh, I want you so much right now.”  I said, “Shawn, we have this evening, your friends will be here any minute.”   A low sound of annoyance escaped his mouth and he rolled his eyes.

            I pulled away from him and he sat down pouting.  I got together a few snacks from the refrigerator.  A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door.   My stomach was doing flip flops.  On the other side of the door was “Arc Angel” my favorite group and I was about to come face to face with all of them in one room. It was like hitting the lottery, only better.

            Shawn opened the door.  The first one through the door was his best friend, Paul.  He hugged him, “It’s good to see you, my friend.”  Steve hugged him back for a long time, “You as well.”

            Next was Jace, he was the lead singer.  “How are you doing Shawn?”  He hugged him, “I’m trying Jace, I’m sorry.”  Jace said, “Just get better man.”  Next was Raven, “We were worried about you.”  Shawn said “I know, I’m letting you guys down.” 

            Ryan was last to come in.  He never said a word, just reached out and hugged Shawn.  Shawn said, “I know, you don’t gotta say anything.”

            After everyone was inside the door, the band suddenly realized I was standing in the room and they were all staring at me.  Paul spoke up, “Who is the lass?” and smiled, eyeing me over.

            I said, “I am Leigh.  A friend.  I am help Shawn with some of the physical issues he is experiencing during withdrawal.”

            Paul said to Shawn jokingly, “Is she single?”  Shawn looked annoyed and said sternly, “No she is not.  And before you ask, yes, she has a sister, and she isn’t’ either.”  Jace busted out laughing and said, “Somethings never change.”

            I smiled then said, “It was very nice meeting all of you.  There is some food here and cold drinks if you like.  I am headed over to the main house to do some laundry.”

            Shawn stepped toward me and said, “You don’t have to go.”  I said, “No you guys need this time alone.  I will be back.”  I winked at him.  Shawn didn’t care, he reached down and kissed me.  Next, I heard Paul say, “Friend my ass.”  I turned beat red and left.  In the back of my mind, I could see Shawn smiling as I walked away.    

Shawn’s POV

            I’m sitting here looking at the guys and I have no idea what to say.  So, Paul decides to start first, “Shawn you can’t keep going on like this.  The Dr. said if you do, you are going to die.  Do you understand that?  I mean really.  I love you like a brother, but it’s pisses me off watching you drink your life away.” 

            “I know.  I keep telling myself I won’t do it again, but I do and it’s always worse.  I am letting you down and feel like I am failing all of you.”

 Jayce, “Shawn, we don’t need you feeling sorry for yourself, we want you to get better.  We will do anything you need, no booze around you when you are ready to come back.  Any changes we need to make so you can be comfortable and not tempted.” 

            Paul said, “Look, if you feel under pressure with writing music, don’t.  We all have ideas and we can all work together to make things easier.  We don’t want to replace you; we want you with us.”

            Raven, “Do you realize what you are doing to your parents let alone us?  They are a mess.”

            Jayce, “You know we are working on the new album, and we don’t want to do it without you so we have all been talking.” 

Paul, “Yeah, we want you to take a break, get your head on straight, fight your demons, and stay the bloody hell in rehab.  No more checking out.  You complete it and then come back.” 

Ryan said, “If you feel like you want to write music, then go ahead, we can come out here when you want and jam.  There are a lot of things we can do to help you.”

            Paul said, “We aren’t givin up on you, so you can’t be giving up on yourself.  I don’t want another fuckin call telling me my best friend may have drank himself into a f*****g coma!  Are you getting it yet?  You are like my brother, you gotta stop this!”

            I couldn’t hold back anymore, I just started to cry, right there in front of the guys like a big baby.  Jayce gripped my arm, “It’s gonna be ok, but you gotta work with us here.  We don’t want to lose you.” 

            We all sat there for a long time.  I was crying, they were crying.  Finally, Paul said, “So at least you got a good-looking hottie taking care of you.  Seriously, how does that even happen?”  We all laughed. 

            I finally spoke up, “Well, she doesn’t take my s**t that is for sure.  I haven’t quite met anyone like her before.  I know what you guys are thinking.  All those girls, I get it.  This one is different.  Special, I trust her.”

            Jayce said, “Oh know, I know that look.” 

            “I don’t know what you are talking about, man”

            Paul, “Shawn, what are you doing you are in rehab, now is not a time to be looking for your next girlfriend.” 

            Shawn says, “It’s not, like that.  But, yeah, I got feelings for her.  I don’t think I would have made it through the first couple of days without her.  And yeah, she is freaking gorgeous so that helps.  She keeps reminding me how important you guys are to me, and she asks for nothing from me.  Takes me as I am at this point.  So yeah. I got it bad for her.”

            Paul smiled, “I just don’t want to see someone get hurt. But if she helps you out of this mess, then I don’t care.  Or if you decide you don’t want to see her anymore, then I want her phone number.”  I punch him in the gut and he laughs.  “Not a chance, I need her and I’m not letting this one go.”

            We talked for a few more hours than they left.  I promised to check in with them next week.  It was an emotional talk but a good one.

            I sat down on the couch staring into the fire.  I felt like for the first time, I want to beat this.  I miss the guys, but I also need her.  What am I going to do when its time for her to return?  I run my hands through my hair, God I don’t even want to deal with it.

Leigh POV

            It took me about two hours to do some laundry, so I went to the gym and decided to walk on the treadmill for a bit and headed to the cafeteria to grab some water afterwards.  I ran into Lilly who asked me to come in and talk to her for a bit.

Lilly, “So please Leigh, sit down and make yourself comfortable.”  After I sat on the chair across from her, she asked, “So how has he been with you?  He seems to be opening up with me more during our sessions, but not so much with group.”

I said, “He trusts you, but he just isn’t ready to do group therapy.  He is not ready to put all his problems out there with a bunch of strangers.  I can understand that.  He did tell me that he does like talking with you.”

Lilly smiled and then looked down for a minute.  She said, “I am concerned when you leave, he will have trouble or go backwards in his progression.  He seems to be “attached” to you.  How long do you plan on being here?”

She was direct, I will give her that.  I kept direct eye contact with her and said, “I am not sure how long I will be here, at some point I will be called back.  I have been concerned just as you are, so please don’t think it has not crossed my mind.  I care for him very much and I want him to be successful.  I’m not sure what you think of me, but I am not some groupie.”

Lilly looked at me, “I did think at first you had an ulterior motive; however, I also believe in old world healing for the mind and body.  It’s a healthier alternative to some of the drugs they currently use.  How did you ever become aware of these?”

I wasn’t sure how much to tell her, so I was a bit cautious.  “My grandmother was a fifth-generation healer so to speak.  It runs in our family.  Actually, my mother and sister both have the gift, but of the three of us, I am by far the strongest.” 

Lilly, “Is that where the stones came from?”  I looked at her, “Yes, both the ruby and the amethyst have been handed down through my family for as long as I can remember.  Not sure of their origin.  When I get back home, I am going to see if I can find more out about them.”

Lilly said, “Well, Leigh, I like you and I do believe you have a gift.  I am glad I got to talk to you.  Too bad you couldn’t stay around longer; we really could use someone with your touch.”  I smiled; I liked her too.  She was good for Shawn.  I said, “I know when I do have to leave, Shawn will be in good hands with you Lilly.  Thank you.”

With that I got up and we said our goodbyes.  The laundry was done and it was time to get back. 

Walking back to the cabin I wondered how Shawn handled the intervention with the guys.  I’m sure it was emotional.  I still can’t believe he kissed me in front of the guys before they left.  They probably think I’m some sort of groupie, or worse yet, after his money when he is in a vulnerable state. 

I opened the door and smelled the most delightful aroma.  I sat the basket down and looked at the table which was set for dinner.  Shawn popped around the corner with a smile.  “I wanted to do something special, so I thought I would make you dinner.  I made orecchiette with sausage and broccoli, garlic bread, and a salad.  It really tastes amazing with wine, but we can’t go there.”  I laughed and walked over kissing him on the cheek, “Who needs the wine when I have you.” 

We sat down to eat and he was watching me at I tasted his dinner.  I rolled my eyes, “This is delicious.  Thank you so much.”

He looked at me very serious, “No, thank you.  Thank you for taking care of me, believing in me.  I just wanted to do something special for you.”

My eyes looked down at the table, “I said you already did, you loved me, Shawn.  If even for one night, you loved me.”  I fought back my tears; I didn’t want to ruin dinner.

Chapter 10

Broken

Shawn POV:

            We started to clean up after dinner and conversation was light, but I wanted to know what she meant at the table when she said, even for one night I loved her.  She looked so fragile at that moment it made my heart hurt.  I could love her forever if she will let me.  I think it was time for her to talk to me about what really happened to her.

            I walked over and started a fire, and grabbed a blanket.  “Leigh, come here and sit with me for a minute.  Let’s talk.”  I could see her expression change, and she looked immediately worried, but I think its time we talk about her too.

            I pulled her down next to me and wrapped my arm around her.  She said, “Why do I get the feeling this is going to be a serious talk.” 

            “Because it is.  I told myself I would not force you to talk to me, and that I was not going to pry, but I want to know, where did those scars come from on your body?”

            She wouldn’t even look at me.  I could instantly feel her get tense.  I cupped her face to look at me.  “Leigh, its ok, please tell me.  It might help to talk about it.”

            She looked past me, into the fire with a blank stare. 

Leigh POV:

            I looked into the fire, remembering what happened.  “Shawn, I don’t want your pity after I tell you this.  So, promise me you won’t.”  Shawn, “I promise.” 

            “Declan and were married for 10 years.  I was so young and he was the first guy that I was head over heals for.  I mean I dated in school but nothing serious.  Everyone knew who Declan was, Captain of the Football team, very popular and handsome.  He always had a fan club; however, I was not among them.  I ran with a different group of friends and he was older than me.  He started to show interest in me and when he did, I was amazed that he would even be interested with me.  I had never been with anyone and was still a virgin.  Of course, I had this crazy thought of saving myself for marriage.  I just didn’t want to sleep around, just wasn’t my thing.”

            “He pursued me and I finally gave in, and I got pregnant.  Of course, his mom wanted him to do right by me and so did my folks.  We were married, nothing fancy, and I was about three months along.  Declan had been cheating on me already, even slept with some girl the night before we were married.  I found that out a month later when his best man at the wedding told me.  He came home late that same night and we argued, he said some really horrible things to me, which I’m not going to get into to.  I told him I was leaving and we struggled and then I fell down the stairs.  I woke up in the hospital with Declan standing there.   I lied and told the nurse I accidently fell, and then she told me I lost the baby.  I would never be able to have any children again after that.”

            Shawn was just looking at me. 

            I continued, “I would leave him three times over the course of the 10 years.  My parents hate him.  My mom wants to set him on fire and my dad said he would bury the ashes.  Like I’m not even kidding.  I never told them what really happened and never will.  Those scars are from ten years of not being submissive enough.  He would cut me.  Said I was so ugly no one would ever want me.  The worst part is, I stayed, I endured the mental and physical abuse until one day, something snapped.  I never looked back.  See Shawn everyone has their demons, even me.”  I started to cry.

            Shawn pulled me into his arms and I cried for quite a while.  He was quiet.  I really needed to know what he was thinking.  I looked up at him searching for some sort of reaction.

            He said, “Leigh, you should have never gone through that, no woman should have too.  I’m so angry right now, if he were in front of me, I would kill him with my bare hands.  Leigh, do you not know how precious you are?  You are so beautiful; hell, Paul is secretly hoping I screw this up so he can have your phone number.”  I laughed.  “I’m serious, God you are amazing, and I am so lucky you are here with me.  Leigh, if you would let me, I would love you the rest of my life and treasure every moment with you.’  

I said, “I can’t have children, being with me is a dead-end Shawn.” 

            He said, “If you want kids, then we can adopt, if you don’t want kids, that’s fine too.  All I know is I want to be with you.”  

            “Shawn, you are not going to make this easy for me.  How am I ever going to leave you and go back.” 

            “Leigh, we will figure it out.  I promise.” 

That night after Shawn made love to me, we laid there in bed.  He traced his fingers over every inch of me.  He said, “I don’t even see the scars, all I see is the most beautiful woman in the world.  And she is mine.”  I leaned up and kissed him.  As we were falling asleep, he whispered, “I love you.”