Gertrude’s Curse

Chapter 3

Once my panic attack was over and Lana finished prescribing the pills she said I could be discharged but that because my mom was not there to pick me up I should wait for her shift to be over and she would drive me home, she said many people knew of what happened and that I maybe subjected to certain gossip about trying to seduce James because I wanted to become a Luna, or that I was a traitor brought to this pack to spy on it and take over it, like I literally arrived at this pack before I could form full sentences, how could I be a spy? Or a traitor? I just nodded at her suggestion, she said I could stay in the room until she came pick me up, she gave me her iPod and some headsets so I could listen to music while waiting, she had smashing pumpkins,

Green day and a band named Pearl Jam which I had not heard before but there was a song “Just Breathe” that I could have listened to at least 10 times before she came to get me.

Once we were walking out of the clinic I noticed her husband waiting for us and she had gotten a bit uncomfortable, I was feeling self conscious enough but held on to the little bravery I had in me and asked her what was wrong? and if maybe she didn’t want me in the car near her husband, she offered me a small smile and said that was not it, that she was not sure how to tell me but that my mom was not picking up her phone and that she had not been seen or heard of since earlier that afternoon, I was shocked to say the least… I mean, I know we are not the poster members of the perfect family but I figured she was just at work and that was why she was no longer in the hospital the second time I woke up, this was news and confusing, Lana asked if I wanted to spend the night at her house but given my current situation I just wanted to be in my room alone, so I asked her to drop me off home anyway.

Once I was in my house the first thing I did was checking my mom’s bedroom, only to realize all her clothes were gone but everything else was left intact, I was tired and stressed out after everything that has happened to me in the past 24 hours so all I had enough strength left to do was walk into the shower and cry my eyes out under the warm water, after a while I put on a towel and went to bed immediately falling asleep. I woke up from the sudden pain in my abdomen after having a horrible nightmare, I could see my younger self in the dream and there was shouting someone was calling my mom a traitor and other horrible things, they were calling me the seed of evil and saying that I would be just like her, suddenly the sharp pain kicked in and I woke up feeling distressed and drained of energy, I just laid there staring at the ceiling…

Next morning, there was a knock on my door it was Jason Lana’s mate, he brought me breakfast, explained that Lana was at the clinic already but asked him to check on me and make sure I was taking the pills and eating, he walked inside and right behind him came Rachel, she looked spooked and her face also showed concern, I invited her in and noticed she was a little uncomfortable with Jason in the room, he probably noticed too since shortly after he said he would check on me or Lana would later on that day, he also mentioned that they heard back from my mom, apparently she was sent away on a visit to another pack as part of the Elite team and that she wouldn’t be back for a few weeks, then he took off. I sat at the breakfast nook and opened what Jason got me while Rachel was silently staring at me, I didn’t know what she was thinking, or if she was judging me, I mean I wouldn’t blame her if she no longer wanted to be my friend, it was not easy before this happened when everyone else was already pushing me a side, now I will probably be treated like a social pariah… after a long long silence she starting trying to speak, she asked me how I was doing, I told her I was not sure, that I was like numb after everything that happened, her next question was obviously “what happened?”, I was not even sure where to begin my explanation, I mean I’m not even sure I understand what happened, so I told her what I remember about it, the pain and the secret training gatherings, how it felt like I had no control over my body and how I just did something unspeakable and then past out, and waking up at the clinic and being told I started having my heat which caused all this mess, I will never forget the look on her face I could see it… the sadness and confusion and pity? Shame? All of them? We stood there in silence, she told me after a while what was being said about me, they were saying I attacked James and took advantage of him and that basically then I went and did the same to one of the guards… not a lie but not exactly the truth and how they were calling me names, names that no woman should be called, there are things we can’t control, things happen to us, but well I am very young I guess it looks bad, she also said that she heard about me being in heat but that adults were saying that it could only happen if I was already sexually active, which is a lie I was not, never have been… is all just a bunch of gossip and misinformation but I felt so ashamed, so bad and disgusted with myself… I told Rachel that I understood if she didn’t want to be friends anymore, she told me not to be silly, that her parents did not like the idea but that she wouldn’t leave me alone, we could only hang out in school though and they will not let Nate, James nor Will near me… or any of the other kids for that matter…