The Wallflower's Revenge

AWR Chapter 37: Unhear, unsee

The cheering continued in front of me. I can't help but put both my hands on the handle of one of the chairs in front of me. I might collapse if I never did that one. My knees were shaking uncontrollably, and I feel like I am going to pee any time.

I gathered all the possible strength within me, trying to focus my attention on this restaurant's exit. Now, the only thing in my head is to leave this place as soon as possible. I have to go and save my heart at the last minute.

I slowly stood up and looked around. I feel like falling as I think that my strength is leaving me. I am still gripping the back handle of a nearby chair like crazy. I felt like my stomach was also becoming upset because of letting a snack and dinner time pass by. I remembered not eating lunch, too. I guess I was just too excited for what I have been expecting that I forgot to take care of myself.

"Aren't they sweet? You know what? That's my dream proposal..." I was a bit surprised when someone stood beside me. I think she's one of the customers of that restaurant. Looking at her, she looked like a woman in her 30's. She has long, wavy hair, and she's wearing a pair of eyeglasses. The way she wore her lipstick is a bit awkward because it's already smudging the sides of her lips.

She looked like a nerdy type of a girl. She kept on adjusting her eyeglasses because it keeps on falling from her eyes. I think this kind of sight made her believe in love while I felt like falling apart any minute.

"They both look good together." She added. I noticed she's holding a handkerchief. She's also tearing up, maybe because she's moved by what she witnessed.

Everything is all ridiculous. I could go insane any minute. I looked at the woman as I gave her a friendly grin. I am thinking of telling her that the guy is my boyfriend. I want to ruin her expectation of him, being the sweetest guy in the whole world for having the courage to propose in public.

Well, I am still holding my patience. The whole thing shocked me, but I don't want to be a spoiler at the moment, too. I guess I will just let her believe in a fairytale full of lies.

He is supposed to do that to me, but then I guess it is expectation vs. reality. He can't even do that to me, and I am the legal girlfriend. He's a pretentious guy.

"Of course, they're...they are suited for each other," I answered her as I awkwardly smiled. I swallowed, and I couldn't help but stutter those words.

She nodded in agreement while giggling. Since when did I learn to agree with all of these? Were those words coming from my mouth? I realized I said something opposite to what I feel right now.

I couldn't help but cry in front of that woman. I saw her emotional facial reaction just turned to a worried one. She even touched my arm as she faced me.

"Hey, miss...are you alright?" She tapped my shoulder again.

"Oh, never mind me. I tend to be emotional whenever I witness something touching." I answered right away. I hope I do not sound very defensive in front of her. She looked at me in the eyes as she slowly took her breath.

"Oh, is that so? Yeah, me too!" She replied with a relieved tone. She still observed my facial reaction because I am becoming weird all of a sudden. She sniffed a bit, and I just smiled at her again.

If only you know what I feel right now. You will only develop resentment to the guy who was trying to show off in front of us, too. You will turn all that excitement and happiness into hate, tested and proven.

"I hope you will enjoy watching more from that couple. But I am so sorry I need to go." I wiped my tears with both my hands as I tried making my steps bigger until I reached the exit door. I am almost doing a brisk walk to get out of that place.

I realized the kind of love I have for him because, at the last minute, I never risk his 'good' name being the 'best' doctor in town.

I guess my own version of the story is never essential anymore. Who am I to spoil a once-in-a-lifetime moment? It looked like it was designed for both of them and not for the both of us.

----

Mason was tagged. #RelationshipGoals

There were a lot of pictures of the both of them, enjoying, savoring the moment. Some friends tagged photos of them. They were there to also witness everything in person. It was the same restaurant where I had been a while ago as well. I started to wonder. Ironically speaking, how could they never even feel my presence at that time? Many of their friends saw me, but they don't care about me and what I would feel.

100 comments

'OMG! FINALLY!'

'You deserve each other. Congratulations!'

'What a lovely couple!'

I clicked 'more...'

I clicked the comments, and it pained me as I read most of them.

Kian McHeal: 'Hey, what about Biellia? Does she know about it?'

Well, he's one of our close friends. He's one of the resident nurses working inside the hospital where Mason is also working. He knew me, he knew Mason, and he knew Xandra as well. How could he not? There were five of us. I am the only one clueless about what's going on.

I noticed Xandra reacted to a care emoticon, but she never replied to that comment. She's supposed to owe an explanation to me after what happened. But now? I don't know what's going on. Is Kian even on my side? Or he's just sarcastic about his question? If so, he's ridiculous and a big jerk for commenting on that one. They all made a fool out of me and I can’t easily accept this. Especially that they were all my ‘once, trusted’ colleagues.

Is Xandra trying to follow this quote, “make your enemies closer to you?”

I also noticed Mason reacting a heart emoticon to almost everyone who congratulated them. Does he even know I could read all of these? What are they trying to prove to me? Am I a joke to them? I could feel that my heart was about to burst out. I feel weak all of a sudden, and I don't feel like moving a muscle.

How could he ever waste that ten-year relationship? Did he even care about me from the previous years? Or, was it only a show-off to make me happy?

I scrolled my f*******: more. I decided to visit Mason and Xandra's profile. To my surprise, I saw this 'add friend' blue button before my eyes. What happened? Did they both unfriend me after the proposal? Wow, this is the perfect timing if they did that.

I just realized that it is the reason why I couldn't see anything from both of them in my newsfeed. I knew Xandra for being so vocal, even in her posts. Mason is also proud of whatever he's been doing in his life, especially if it is a major one.

I guess they better remove me so that I can't see their sweetness from their social media accounts. I think that's the reason why I couldn't see most updates of Zandra and Mason in my newsfeed. Traitors. I should've known better! So, all this time, they were making a fool of me? How can't I have a link to that, anyway?

I looked at Xandra's picture. Her smile is even more beautiful, now that she changed her profile picture with Mason, while she put her hands near the camera to show her engagement ring. It is a lovely diamond ring, and it hurts to realize that it suits her beautiful fingers.

If I compare myself to Xandra, I will be less likely to be selected by Mason. I know, he truly cared about his profession and the approval of society. Why didn't I think of this one the earliest way possible? Knowing him, he would tend to marry a doctor too. That way, someone could relate to him more. I am a public school teacher by profession. However, my debts were piling up as time went by. I am never even proud of my job at some point.

He somehow made me feel lonely to what I see right looking back, and I thought we already agreed to our work differences smoothly. From the first half of our relationship, I did my best to adjust to his schedule since I know he's busier than me.

I thought Mason was the only person who could understand me more than anyone. However, it turned out, and he's one reason I am starting to hate the life I am living right now.