Making A Luna

NO PROBLEM TOO BIG

Esme

What was Logan talking about? I hadn't found my mate yet, if it was him then I would know. Wouldn't I? "Thats impossible" I shouted, angry that he would try and lie to me about something so important. There was no chance that Logan could be my mate, I would have felt it. "Come on Essie you-" "Don't call me that Logan. I'm not a f*****g child anymore and i am certainly not your mate, so stop with the nicknames" I cut him off. I wasn't going to stand here and listen to anymore of his bullshit. "What do you get out of lying to me? Are you stupid enough to think that i wil just blindly believe that you are my mate when there is nothing to prove it? Come on Logan surely you respect me enough to not treat me like I am a complete fool?" The anger was burning inside of me, Logan was not my mate, could not be my mate. So why would he say he is? "You really think that I would lie about something like that Essie? You were made for me and I was made for you, I don't know what I can do to make you believe me, to see the truth" Logan pleaded with me, but he was fighting a losing battle as far as I was concerned. "Logan, I don't know what game you are playing with me but I dont want any part of it. Please just stop messing with me!” I begged, I couldn’t take these games anymore. I would have been okay without him coming here, trying to control my life by pretending to have this fascination with me just for him to pull away when I returned the interest. He was just grasping at anything he could to keep a hold over me but I wasn’t going to let him do that anymore. “For god sake Esme I’m not playing any games, I want to be with you!” Seriously? “You want to be with me?” I scoffed. “You want to be with me but you lie to me. You want to be with me but you reject me once I show any interest. You have a seriously funny way about showing it.” Logan looked like I had just slapped him around the face, pain etched all over. There was no going back now, he had pushed me too far. Right now my feelings for him had to be pushed aside, I was not going to let him manipulate me. “You can’t say that you don’t feel something for me! I see the way that you react when I touch you, I know that you feel it! You might not feel it the same way I feel it but there is something here, you at least feel that” he insisted. “That’s where you’re wrong Logan, you don’t know what you are talking about” I lied. He wasn’t going to have this, I was not going to give him the reassurance he so desperately craved. “So you’re telling me that you feel nothing?” He croaked, tears threatening to escape his eyes. “Yes Logan, I feel nothing for you.”

Logan

Nothing? How could she feel nothing for me? She’s got to be lying, I couldn’t have imagined it. The way she blushes when we touch, the small smile on her lips. Did I imagine it? “I think you should go” I forced out, not being able to look at her any longer. I was going to break, it was only a matter of time before I broke down and I couldn’t let her see this. If she really felt nothing for me then fine, I would have to work to prove it to her. Either that or I’d have to hope that she would magically start feeling the mate bond. “Gladly” Esme spat and just like that she was turning on her heel and storming away from me. How had that gone so wrong? f**k. I needed to figure this out before it drove me crazy. It felt like my heart had been ripped out to my chest, hearing my mate tell me that she felt absolutely nothing for me. Nothing. Jack s**t. I kicked my bedroom door in frustration, leaving a dent. This was not good, not good at all. Garrison had become completely worked up after that confrontation with our mate. Looks like I am going back out for another run.

-

It was 6am when I finally returned to my room. I hadn’t been able to let myself come back to my human form, needed the time away to be free to get away from thinking about her. My whole body ached, like I had lost something essential to my being. In a way I had, my mate hated me and probably had no interest in talking to me ever again. All because I had been stupid enough to let my secret slip. This was why I was keeping this a secret. I should have known that she would probably never believe me. Instead I had to go and f**k up any hope I had of solving things between us. How was I meant to keep her away from danger when she couldn’t even stand the sight of me? The way she had looked at me when she had told me how she felt had broke me. I didn’t have the time to think about this right now, I had to push through and sort myself out for my packs arrival. I grabbed my phone from my bedside table and dialled Jack. “Alright Logan” his voice came through the other end of the phone. God I missed my best friend, I really couldn’t wait for him to finally be here. “Just checking everything is in place for today” I responded. “Everything is in place. We will be setting off after everyone has eaten” he informed me as I walked into my en suite. “Okay good, just checking.” I was eager to be reunited with my pack. “Chill out Logan, we will be there before you know it” Jack laughed at me now. “Yeah yeah. Alright get to work and I’ll see you shortly” I ended the call before placing my phone by the sink. I looked up at myself in the mirror to take in my dishevelled appearance. God I looked like s**t, although considering I hadn’t slept it was to be expected. Alright, time to sort myself out.

Jack

“Alright guys, it’s time to get going” I addressed the pack members as we gathered in the dining hall. This wasn’t going to be easy, we were not exactly a small pack and we had several younger pups. I couldn’t believe Logan was actually making us do this, he could have at least come back to help us with the transport. I understood though, as frustrating as it was I knew he couldn’t risk leaving his mate, and realistically he was too weak. Let’s get this show on the road. I made my way out of the pack house, making sure that I was the last to leave and locked the door behind me. “Right guys, it’s time for us to take off” I addressed my men stood in front of me. “When we get there we are to make sure that women and pups are dealt with first. Let’s do this.” I made my way over to my truck where my mother and sister were waiting for me. “Come on then let’s get going” I smiled at the two most important women in my life, getting into the car. “Jack do you really think this is what’s best?” Celia, my sister, asked me as I put the key into the ignition, ready to go. “Trust me, Logan wouldn’t do anything that wasn’t in the packs best interests. Trust us on this” I comforted her. I knew this would cause her to feel uneasy, Celia had never dealt well any changes so this wasn’t going to be easy for her. Things had been especially hard for her since her best friend was killed. “You never know, we may even find our mates” she chirped, seeing the potentials. “Yeah right” I scoffed. Unlikely.

Blaire

The pack house was crazy this morning and I was feeling completely overwhelmed. Welcoming one new pack was one thing, but to be hosting another pack, Logan’s pack nonetheless, was too much. Yesterday had been so difficult, pretending like I was confident and had it handled. I had so badly not wanted to disappoint Esme so I had pretended like I had everything handled when really I was falling apart on the inside. The truth was everything was falling apart. The cooks didn’t have enough food to feed everyone because I had messed up the numbers, half of the rooms in the old pack house weren’t even ready yet and Logan’s pack was due to arrive in less than 2 hours. “I am sorry Blaire, I want to help you as my future Luna but there is nothing I can do” Stacey the head cook told me now as I stood in the kitchen frozen in panic. I could feel the tears prickling at the back of my eyes, the pit in my stomach as I realised how badly I had messed up. I wasn’t even the Luna yet but I was blowing the little responsibility that I had been given. “I-Im sorry I understand” I choked before turning around and running out of the kitchen. I just needed to get away from it all, to escape from this madness. My feet carried me as I continued to run, out the back of the pack house, across the field and into the woods. I didn’t know where I was going but I couldn’t stay in the pack house. Not with everything going on there right now. The tree house. I could go there.

-

I had managed to find this treehouse despite never having actually been here. Esme had told me about it before, said how it had always been hers and Masons place. I didn’t want to invade their private place but I needed somewhere to be able to go and breathe, just for a little while. It was actually better than I thought here, something about it just made me feel safe. Looking at my watch, I realised that I had already been away longer than I had intended to but I just couldn’t bring myself to go back yet. “What are you doing hiding out here?” I heard Esme’s voice before I saw her. She appeared up through the hole in the far corner as she climbed up the ladder. “Oh, erm, Esme I’m so sorry I- I know this is yours and Masons place. I-I just ha-had to get away” I cried, trying to wipe the tears away from my face. “Don’t be silly. Wait- hey why are you crying?” She asked me concerned. She made her way over to me and crouched down at my side, pulling me into her. I didn’t know if I could bring myself to tell her the truth, to tell her how I was failing, I needed her help. I continued to cry into my hands, unable to say a word. “Come on Blaire, you can tell me anything” she urged me to speak. “Just breathe.” “It’s all a mess” I blurted, unable to control myself. I was hyperventilating now, getting myself worked up and unable to breathe. “Blaire what’s a mess?” Esme asked, rubbing my back in an attempt to calm me down. “Esme I’m so sorry, everything’s just gone to s**t. I lied yesterday, I didn’t have things handled, I needed help. There’s just so much pressure to get everything right and I didn’t want to let you down. You’ve done so much to help me and I- I just am not learning fast enough” I managed to out my words together. I felt a little relief, knowing that I was able to get it all off of my chest. “Blaire, you could never let me down. Honestly I felt a bit useless yesterday knowing you didn’t need my help. That’s what I’m here for, I promised to help you and that’s what I am going to do. Just be honest with me about these things and then we can fix them okay?” Esme reassured me. At least she wasn’t angry at me for messing things up. “Okay, Thankyou so much Esme.” She smiled at me and got up to her feet, holding her hand out for me to take. “Alright, so tell me what needs to be done and we can go from there, okay.”