I hate that I love him

Everyone deserves a second chance

Jenny’s apartment is cute and homely, she shows me my room which is quite big with its wooden double bed and a small wardrobe that’s painted yellow.

She looks confused when I walk in with just one suitcase.

We share one bathroom which I don’t mind at all, because at least I have somewhere to call home.

She asks me if I have anymore stuff to collect and I say yes but it can wait for now.

We walk into the kitchen and she tells me what shelves in the fridge are hers and what cupboards are mine, I smile and thank her again for the millionth time today.

We settle on the settee and she asks me what it was like working for the Jeffries family.

I instantly want to cry and I think she could tell because she comes to my side and puts her hand on top of mine.

“Im so sorry Demi” she says grabbing me a tissue from a box sitting on a table next to her.

“I’m sorry” I sniff trying to control my sobs.

“No I should not have asked” sighs Jenny getting up and walking over to the freezer and pulling out a cold bottle of vodka.

She pours us both a drink, she hands me mine and asks me if I want to talk about it.

I shake my head and drink my drink.

We sit there in her small apartment in silence with her hand resting on top of mine and I can tell we are going to be good friends.

My first week at work is a huge success and it makes me smile when I see a customer leave happy with what they purchased.

“Your a natural” says Jenny coming up to me after I advise a customer on her choice of colour.

“Thank you” I smile shyly, I have never been one to accept compliments easily.

When the weekend comes we decide to go out for drinks to celebrate my first week at work, although I’m really not in the mood.

We pass a few bars and settle on a trendy bar s***h restaurant a few blocks from where we live.

The music is good and there are a few crowds dotted here and there having dinner and chatting.

We settle on a table next to a group of well dressed men in fancy suits all looking very serious about the topic they are talking about.

They are talking about different charities and events that have come and gone, making me listen a bit harder.

Jenny gets us some cocktails and we sit and laugh about boys and school and past jobs we have had, with each hour passing both of us getting more drunk.

I stand at the bar and wait for our next round to arrive not paying attention to my surroundings.

I look to my left where the men in suits are sitting and my eyes land on a familiar face.

“s**t” I say to myself quickly moving to the side where I will be covered by a large wooden pillow.

There sits Aiden looking hot as hell in his grey suit and white shirt with no tie.

I grab our drinks and slide in the seat next to Jenny with my back to Aiden.

Jenny gives me a funny look and asks me what’s wrong.

“Mr Jeffries is behind us” I giggle in my drunken state looking cautiously over my shoulder.

Jenny giggles and we must look like spies holding up the cocktail menu to peek over the top.

“He’s hot” she slurs shaking her head in disbelief.

“Yes, and he is also a jerk” I reply in an equally slurred tone bopping her on the nose.

“You should totally make a scene” she smiles pushing me almost off my chair.

“I cant do that” I reply looking at him again deep in conversation.

“So let me do it” she asks standing up and downing her drink.

“Jenny no” I cry getting up and standing beside her.

She is looking forward and stops talking.

“To late” she says trying to hide her laugh.

I look towards Aidens table and see he is looking at me with a face full of shock.

“s**t, lets go” I say pulling her towards the door.

“Demi wait” I hear Aiden call me making me walk a little bit faster.

I feel him grab my arm and spin me around to face him.

“Demi please” he sighs not letting me go.

I’m angry that I allowed myself to be seen, and I’m more angry that I’m now face to face with him.

Without thinking I pick up a jug of beer from the table next to us and tip it over his head.

He stands there smiling as the people on the table laugh and take pictures for their social media pages.

“He will pay for that” I say looking at the poor man sitting at the table, I hand him the empty jug and join Jenny who is also smiling waiting for me on the curb.

We walk away laughing and me not looking back.

Waking the next morning my head is in pain, why did I drink so much, and why did I do that to Aiden.

Jenny comes back from the corner shop carrying much needed supplies to get us through the day.

“Lets watch the note book and cry” she suggests, and I must say I love the Note book, it holds fond memories for me.

Thursday morning comes all too quick and as I finish with a customer I see Lady Jeffries on the other side of the shop.

She sees me first and has already made a beeline for me with a look of anger on her pristine face,

I think about running but decide to face her.

“Demi, I thought that was you” she says with a smile when she finally stands before me.

She wraps me in a warm hug, something I was not expecting.

“Olivia told me you left the apartment quite abruptly” she says with confusion on her face.

“Well considering how things were between Aiden and I, It only seemed right to leave” I say feeling guilty that I never said thank you for everything she had done for me.

“I thought you would be angry with me” I say looking at my hands resting in front of me.

“Why on earth would I be angry with you” she asks looking at me waiting for an explanation.

“Well because Aiden told you how he felt about me, and well you, you didn’t approve” I reply ending with, I’m sorry.

“Demi I have no idea what you are talking about” she looks cross, like she wants answers cross.

“When is your next break” she asks looking around for someone else.

Jenny appears from behind and tells us we can use the staff break room if we need to talk.

once we are seated and with a coffee in hand I begin to explain the whole story.

She listens to me tell her how much I love Aiden and how he confessed his love for me, I tell her everything.

She sips her coffee and nods and smiles listening to my no stop talking.

“Well It explains a lot” she says shrugging her shoulders.

“you see Olivia has been overseas looking after her father, and well we honestly thought she wouldn’t come back” she says touching my hand with hers.

“I know it does not excuse his behaviour Demi” she smiles,; “but its the happiest he has been in years” she adds looking away from me and shaking her head.

“I told him Many times to end the marriage, but I think it was Olivia who begged him to stay” she laughs like shes remembered a random thought.

“I don’t think I can forgive him” I say not truly believing my own words.

She touches my hand again and smiles.

“And if she is still living with him then they are still married” I say wrapping my hands around my mug.

“Please just give him time Demi” she asks as if pleading with me to forgive his actions.

“Just think about it, and maybe hear him out” she adds standing up and putting her coat back on.

She hugs me again and I tell her thank you for everything.

“If you ever need me for anything, call me ok” she smiles and touches my cheek.

I nod as she turns and walks away saying goodbye to Jenny as she leaves.

Jenny comes over and asks if I’m ok, again I nod and say yes.

When I get home I fall onto my bed and pass out for the rest of the night only waking to get a drink and have a pee.

Lying on my bed I look up at the ceiling and wish he was here with me now, I miss him everyday and maybe I should hear him out.

We have a team talk at work the next day and Gregory reads out some feed back from the customers saying the decor department has had some raving reviews and this makes me and Jenny smile.

I see Aiden before he sees me that afternoon, I’m trying to finish a sale with a customer when he walks in the shop looking like the s*x god he is.

I manage to dive down a row of kitchen appliances as he walks over to speak with Jenny.

A customer makes me jump by asking me a question about a coffee machine that’s on display.

I do my best to answer her questions as she stands and listens carefully.

I suddenly become aware of Aiden standing behind me but I continue to talk with the sweet little lady.

When she’s satisfied with the information I have given her she walks off in the direction of the tills and to a smiling Jenny.

“Hello Demi” says Aiden in that sexy voice I have come to miss.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and spin to face him.

“Can I help you with something” I ask boldly.

“I would like to take you out on a date” he says making me tilt my head to one side and cross my arms over my chest.

“I’m sorry sir but we are all out of dates, maybe try the truth shop next door, or maybe the marriage guidance centre down the street” I add feeling myself lose control of my emotions.

I walk off in the direction of the break room wanting to get away from his smug face.

He follows me inside and I tell him to leave.

“Not until you hear me out” he yells with passion in his tone.

“Why should I Aiden” I ask putting my hands on my hips.

“Because I love you and you love me” he breaths, his eyes alive with raw emotion.

“I do love you Aiden, your right about that” I say feeling my heart beat out of my chest, ; “but I’m not the one who lied and I’m not the one who’s married” I add feeling the the first tear sting my eyes.

“I f****d up” he says raising his hands in defeat.

“To right you f****d up”,; “you broke my heart” I cry feeling completely helpless.

He moves closer and I hold up my hand to stop him.

He hits it away and pulls me into his arms and hold me tight like this is where I belong.

He feels good, his breathing is calming and he smells of fresh linen and Dolce & Gabbana, my favourite aftershave.

Suddenly realising what I’m doing I push him back away from me.

“I cant forgive you Aiden, your still married and living with your wife” I say as clearly as I can.

He looks at me as if to ask how I know this.

“Your sister came to see me” I give him a look of yeah, I know the truth.

“I’m so sorry Demi” he says looking defeated and finally sitting down at the table.

“I just got myself in so deep, wanting to keep you from the truth” he takes a deep breath.

“Olivia and I are getting a divorce” He says looking at me with a straight face.

I nod as if to accept what he is saying.

“I promise I will never lie to you again” he adds getting up from the chair and standing in front of me.

I stare up at his beautiful face and I want to kiss him so badly, but I resist.

“Please let me take you out Demi” he asks placing a strand of hair behind my ear.

I think for a few seconds and finally nod.

“It’s going to take a lot to trust you again Aiden” I say folding my arms on my chest again.

“I know and I’m going to do everything to win you back” he smiles and it kills me to see him and not be able to just wrap myself around him.

“Ok” I say still not giving to much away.

“Ok” he repeats and smiles again.

“Now get out of here” I ask pushing his chest so he backs up to the door.

He opens it and walks out turning back to blow me a kiss.

This finally makes me smile and I watch him leave.