I hate that I love him

She took the one thing I thought I’d never have.

Walking into the apartment still feeling dizzy from earlier I try to slam the bedroom door in Aidens face.

“Demi please” Aiden pleads as I walk into the bathroom and slam that door too.

We haven’t spoken since we left Lillians, well ok I haven’t spoken since we left Lillians, he on the other hand has not stopped talking.

I leave the bathroom and sit on the edge of the bed to remove my silver necklace and matching earrings.

“Demi will you please talk to me” he says coming around the bed to kneel in front of me.

I look him in the eye and see the man I fell in love with, the father to my unborn child.

But I also see Olivia and her smug face laughing at me.

He grabs my hands gently and brings them to his lips.

“Please talk to me” he breaths with a tender tone.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

“Just leave me alone” I say quietly, silently willing him to leave.

“Ok, but I’m not leaving” he sighs kissing my hands again.

He stands before me as I climb into bed.

“You know your giving her exactly what she wanted” he says walking towards the door and stopping to look back at me.

I don’t answer him, I just close my eyes and sink into a troubled sleep.

I wake in the night and Aiden is not next to me.

I have a sharp pain in my lower tummy like a dull ache.

So getting up and walking to the bathroom I flick on the bathroom light.

The pain in my tummy is so strong its making me bend over the sink and hold the sides for support.

It’s not until I look down that I see blood leaving a trail down the inside of my legs.

Panic and fear sets in and all I can think about is my baby.

I walk to the lounge where a sleeping Aiden is resting on the couch.

“Aiden wake up” I call loudly making him jump from his sleep.

One look at me doubled over in the doorway has him up and on his feet.

“Demi, what’s wrong” he asks coming over to my side.

“I think something wrong” I reply looking down and making him do the same.

He sees the blood and immediately runs back to grab his phone.

He walks me back into the bedroom where he helps to clean me up and get me dressed, all the while he is on the phone to a doctor getting advice.

He walks me to the front door, hearing all the commotion, Jenny comes from her room.

“Demi what’s going on” she says rubbing her eyes and looking at the shock on my face.

“We have to go” says Aiden walking me to the door.

“I will call you” says Aiden to Jenny when she sees the look of concern from Aiden back to me.

We climb in his car and drive the short distance to the hospital, a private hospital at that.

We are met by two nurses who help me into a wheelchair and bring me inside out of the cold night air.

Aiden tries to take my hand but I pull it away from him.

I don’t see him again until I’m changed in a hospital gown and waiting to have an ultra sound scan.

I feel numb and I know In my heart of hearts that I have lost the baby.

Aiden joins me in the dark room with the kind young lady who will do the scan.

I cant bare to look at the screen and when I see the look on Aidens face I know our baby has gone.

Aiden strokes my hand and kisses my palm, he feels it as much as me.

“I’m so sorry” says the young woman putting down her wand.

“Ill give you a few minutes” she says standing and leaving the room.

“I’m so sorry Demi” says Aiden with pain in his voice, pain for me, pain for him and pain for our lost child.

I don’t speak, I just cry silent tears.

We walk back into the apartment and Jenny is having some breakfast in the lounge.

One look on my face and she knows what’s happening, she knows I will need time and space.

Aiden puts me in bed and kneels beside me on the floor.

“I will never forgive her for this” I say almost inaudible.

“Demi I promise you she will pay for what shes done” he says leaning up and kissing me on my shoulder.

The feel of his kiss makes me want to pull him close, but for now its just too raw.

I roll over and face away from him letting him know I don’t want to talk.

He gets up and walks to the bedroom door to leave, only when he looks back do I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep.

Waking after a few hours I hear movement in the kitchen.

I see Jenny cleaning and putting away various pots and pans.

“Hay you” she says when she sees me coming from my room.

“You should be resting” she adds helping me over to the couch to sit down.

“Where’s Aiden” I ask looking at the neatly folded blanket on he arm of the chair.

“Said he needed to go sort some stuff” she replies sitting down next to me.

“I’m so sorry Demi” she says holding my hand making me start to cry all over again and its only when she pulls me into a warm hug that I really begin to let it go.

The next week has been a bit of a blur with Aiden trying to apologise at every opportunity.

I know its not his fault and I shouldn’t be so hard on him but I still need to know what happened that night I left his apartment.

We order some food and sit quietly watching a movie one evening, poor Jenny has retreated to her room.

“What happened between you and Olivia when I left” I ask turning to look at him and turning the TV off at the same time.

“Nothing happened” he replies avoiding my gaze and placing his bowl on the table next to him.

“Your lying” I say giving a small laugh.

“Demi please” he says getting up off the sofa.

He looks at me awkwardly like he wants to get something off his chest.

“Aiden I just need to know the truth” I say pleading with him to tell me.

“And then what” he asks placing his hands in his pockets.

“What do you mean” I ask giving him a quizzical look.

“Well, I tell you what happened and then what”,; “we slept together and what” he holds his hands up defeated,; “we didn’t sleep together” he adds walking towards me again,; “will you believe me” he asks sitting next to me and making me turn towards him.

“Will you believe a single word I say” he adds looking straight at me.

I don’t know how to answer him, because he is right, if he did sleep with her what does that mean for us, and if he didn’t sleep with her, will I ever be able to trust what he tells me again.

“Just tell me the truth” I ask again, I need to know either way.

“No Demi, I didn’t sleep with her”,; “when you left I slept in your room, in your bed” he says reaching for my hand.

“That woman is crazy” he adds rubbing his thumb in small circles on my hand.

“I don’t know what else to say to make you believe me” he breaths and lets out a long sigh.

“So how is she pregnant” I ask just not being able to get it clear in my head.

“I don’t know, but I can tell you that baby is not mine” he replies and when I look at his face I see the first hint of hope, like I actually believe what he is saying.

“She will say the baby is yours right up until its born” I say, but then he probably already knows that.

“Oh I know she will, and when its born we can get a DNA test and she will look the fool” he smiles a weak smile but I do not return his smile.

“The best thing we can do is stand together and show her how much we love and trust each other” he says pulling my hand up to his lips.

I feel my tears sting my eyes as I place my hand on his cheek.

“If your lying to me, I will walk away and you will never see me again” I say rubbing my thumb on his cheek wanting things to be good again.

“I know” he replies leaning his head on my hand.

I nod over and over again, processing the decision I have just made.

“Ok” I breath out sharply,; “lets go to bed” I add standing and pulling him with me.

Laying in his arms that night I feel safe, and secure, like whatever Olivia is planning next I can handle, I can deal with anything as long as Aiden is by my side.

The next week comes and goes, we see the new year in with Jenny, we drink cocktails and watch fireworks from the living room window, we laugh and we sing.

Going back to work was actually a welcome break and we soon get back into the old routine.

Aiden is back to his dominant loving self and things soon fall back to the way they were.

Lillian comes to see me and she can’t apologise enough for Olivias behaviour to which I tell her its not her fault.

Gregory comes to see me one after noon and offers me a job I can’t refuse.

“We have seven window displays around the entire building” he starts looking excited, ;”well we would love Somone of your talent and knowledge to give them all a revamp” he adds clapping his hands waiting for my reply.

“I’m flattered” I say feeling overwhelmed.

“But I do love my job where I am now” I add thinking about Jenny and the fun we have together.

“Oh that will always be your main job, we just need Somone to take on the task of making the store look more, well,, modern” he smiles and I know what he means.

The two main windows that you see when you pull into the parking lot leaves a lot to be desired.

We agree on me doing one window and seeing how I feel.

I’m so excited to tell Aiden when he gets home that I basically burst at the seems when he walks in the door.

Jenny leaves for the weekend leaving me and Aiden alone for the first time since my miscarriage.

I leave the shower to a waiting Aiden standing with a towel for me.

He wraps it around my body and hugs me from behind.

“I love you Demi Monroe” he whispers in my ear.

“I love you too Aiden I reply turning to face him.

I pull him in to a deep loving kiss with our tongues moulding perfectly together.

He pulls the towel from around my body and I wrap my arms around his neck.

He kisses my neck and all the way down to my breasts pulling each n****e between his teeth.

He places one hand between my legs and runs his fingers over my sweet spot making me moan with pleasure.

He pushes me up against the tiled wall and drops to his knees in front of me.

He kisses my lower tummy and the tops of my thighs making me pull his hair gently.

He finds the spot between my legs making me open up with his hands.

He licks me slowly, rotating his tongue around and around then stopping to kiss my thighs.

He repeats this over and over again, each time bringing me closer to the edge.

“Aiden please” I breath with heated breath.

“I love it when you beg” he says looking up at me through his eyelashes.

He dives his tongue in deeper pushing me over the edge with me pulling his hair hard and listening to him growl mixing with my own long groan.

He stands and kisses me letting me taste my own juices.

He then lifts me up with my legs around his waist and walks me into the bedroom.

He lays me down gently and climbs between my legs kissing my breasts in turn.

He slides inside me gently at first, but soon picking up a speedy rhythm.

His moans matching my own and his breath becoming more and more out of control finally spilling his seed deep inside me.

He groans into my neck letting his final spasms settle while I continue to run my fingers through his hair.

When we have cleaned ourselves we wrap around each other’s Bodies and fall fast asleep, safe in the knowledge that at least today Olivia has left us alone.