CHAPTER 3
1497 Words
Gael POV
Here I am on campus, with my friend Mild. My class got suspended early cause my professor had some emergency.
It's been two weeks since the anniversary of Auntie Vanessa. Two weeks that I decided to avoid Zander! I'm trying this time to let go of him. If I want to mend my heart, I need to avoid him. I need to forget my feeling for him or even lessen them for a bit until there is nothing left but friendship.
I know it's not easy, but I really can't take it anymore, and I don't know what to do if I continue to be this way. I want to get out of this jail that I put myself in. I know it will be unfair to Zander. It's not his fault that I fall in love with him. It's not his doing that I fall in love with my best friend.
It's just that I'm having a hard time right now.
I feel so suffocated every time I see him with her.
But as the days go by, that's not what is happening right now. Instead of me forgetting Zander or my feeling for him, I miss him more. I long for his attention. I miss his smile, his smiling eyes, his veiny arm, his presence, Everything!
I miss him so much that it feels like every single minute that I'm not with him, even just as his friend, I feel like I'm dying! I'm dying inside!
Before just seeing him, I will do everything, even to create a lame excuse to go to him.
There are moments when I choose not to buy food for my lunch or breaks to have enough money to take a cab and go to his office.
Pathetic, but it's true.
I even pretended not to know things academically, even though I already know those things by heart. I pretended to be an i***t in front of him to get his attention which, by that time, he was gladly offering. I know he will be willing to help me anytime. I can see it in his eyes. I'm important to him! I know I am!
I can survive even if it's just his best friend.
That time, I felt that time had stopped, and the world was ours. Whenever I'm with Zander, I feel so genuinely happy. I fell in love with him deeper each day that he was with me. His attention was all mine. He made me feel like I was his no.1 priority at that time. Even though he was busy with something like his work as president, he would drop it off to stay with me.
We were inseparable before, and I'm so happy about it. Like over the moon happy.
But everything changed when he met Allyssa. She took him away from me. I admit that I hated her so much about it. I know it's not her fault. I know she didn't mean to hurt my feeling. She doesn't know my feeling for Zander. But what can I do? That's how I feel about her.
She took away my happiness.
I didn't realize that I was spacing out for a long time.
To get my attention. Mild suddenly hit my head with his free hand.
"OUCH!" I exclaimed to him.
It's hurt, you know!
I got up and smacked his head back for revenge. Does he think I will not?
"Ouch, Gael!" Mild shouted
"Why! You hit me first! You don't have the right to complain that I hit you too!" I said to him.
"I'm just helping you to go back to the reality you should have thanked me!" He spoke.
"Thank you, My ass. Do you want me to hit you again?" This time he immediately steps back.
"No! But seriously, What's with you today! Did something happen? I've been talking to you, but you're not listening to me. Do you have a problem? You know I'm your friend. You can always tell me anything. Would you please not keep it to yourself? Your head will hurt!" Mild said.
He returned to the bleacher and sat again.
"But seriously, Gael, don't keep it yourself. Especially if you have a friend like me that you can talk about anything. You know I will never judge you." I was taken back by Mild's words.
Yes, he's my friend. I think It's okay for me to tell him my problems, right? Especially to him. He's one of the people I know I can always count on. He's my true friend.
"You know I'm gay, right?"
"Yup, and I'm glad you told me about it."
I breathe deeply before I continue.
"I love someone."
"Wow! Seriously? You? Gael Chaichana? The bookworm, Gael Chaichana? As in you? Love Someone? As in romantically? Omg! It's a miracle. Do you want me to throw you a party?"
"You! Never mind, I won't tell you!" I said, then attempted to stand up, but he stopped me.
Does he think I'm joking?
"Sorry, Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. It's just that I was shocked and didn't expect it at all."
I glared at him.
"Gael, sorry again. Please continue! I will not offend you again!" He said to me sounded so sorry, so I breathed deeply to calm myself.
"Okay, again, I love someone, But I'm telling you now! I'm not telling you who he is, never!"
He doesn't know Zander, so what's the purpose of telling him who is it that I'm talking about.
"I've been in love with him for I don't know how long! He is also my friend, my long-time friend. I admit I love him secretly. I don't have the guts and strength to tell him how I feel why? That's because I'm his best friend. I was scared to tell him because I thought that if I told him how I feel he would hate me, and it would destroy my friendship with Zander. I don't want that to happen. So, I decided to keep it to myself. At first, I was okay with that, with our setup as best friends. Our family is so close that it added for that reason why we see each other as in all the time."
I breathe deeply again before I continue. It's the most heartbreaking stuff that is hard for me to share because it brings back all the pain and memories.
He may have noticed, so he put his hand on my shoulder. His way of cheering me up.
So, I smiled back at him.
"Until one day, he met this girl and everything changes. His priority became her. The only way for me to be with him is as a best friend, but even that was taken away from me by that woman. They are always together. The way he looks at her. How I wish I were one whom he was looking like that with his eyes. I tried to say that it was okay, and I should be just happy for him. Accept all of it, that I should be contented. But every time I say it to myself. It hurts more! It hurt so much more! I feel like someone is stabbing my heart multiple times. Now I tried to stay away from him. It's been two weeks since I last saw him, just two weeks that I thought would help me ease this pain. Two weeks that I thought I could finally help myself to erase my feeling maybe not all but at least to lessen it but no!"
This time I started crying again.
"Mild! It's hard! I thought I could move on from him if I stayed away, but that's not what is happening! I miss him! I miss him so f*****g much that I can't breathe. I'm suffering right now. Please tell me what I should do! Would you please help me? I don't know what to do with his f*****g feelings of mine. Mild, please tell me what to do! Please help me! I don't know what to do anymore. I'm helpless! I feel so alone! I feel so alone!"
Author POV
Mild saw how to hurt his friend is. The first time Mild saw Gael like this.
He remembers when he helped Gael to come out to people about him being gay! Yes! He's very nervous at that time!
But he never cries. As in never!
He didn't expect that his friend was suffering like this.
It broke his heart seeing his friend become like this.
He sees Gael as his brother.
This person who made his friend cry like this!
"Who are you? That woman must be a goddess for that man to ignore Gael's feelings. Gael is perfect in every aspect." Mild can help but to ask himself while trying to console Gael.
Now he is curious who is this f*****g guy that is hurting his friend!
TO BE CONTINUED
- Writer
