Love & Loss

ten

Avery

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TRIGGER WARNING

Aaron. He pressed his lower body against me. Why was he doing this? "You think because you caught the attention of two boys you're special," he asked.

Terror overpowered my body as I've never been this scared in my life. "Let me tell you something Avery, you're nobody, you're ugly, disgusting and a waste of space," His hands started to roam my body as he said those words.

I threw my head back hitting him right in the nose as he yelped in pain. I quickly ran down the halls and into the girls' bathroom not once stopping or looking back. What the hell was his problem? Luckily no one was in the bathroom as yet I looked in the mirror, feeling nauseous— I puked up all the little food that I had in my stomach. My body was really at its limit from how I was treating myself, constant headaches, and bad feelings. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I cleaned myself up and took deep breaths.

Temptation.

I was tempted to use the razor in my bag to self-harm. Fighting the intrusive thought I left the bathroom and grabbed the books from my locker and headed to Mathematics class.

Entering I sat in the second to last row at the back. If I wanted to move from this country I need a job, to gain experience and earn an income so I don't have to be so dependent on my parents. Noah entered the classroom and our eyes met, quickly averted my gaze and focus on something other than him. He sat in the seat in front of me then the other trouble Desmond came in and slumped his body beside me.

Way to draw attention boys!

The teacher came in and started the discussion which we were moving on to the topic of Calculus.

"Avery, why are you spacing out so much?" Noah turned around to face me.

"Turn the hell around and pay attention," I replied annoyed.

Laughing could be heard beside me turns out Dessy found it funny, a small smile made its way across my face. Eyes looked in our direction the entire time yet the teacher could care less if anyone was paying attention, either way, she's getting paid to teach and that's exactly what she's doing— whether we are paying attention or not. Jotting down the formula and notes in my book the bell rang signifying the end of the session. Packing up my books in my bag. Noah, Desmond, and I were left in the class. The tension was dense in the atmosphere. The two seemed to hate each other for some reason.

"Look, I'm not in the drama with you both," I said walking out of the classroom leaving them both. On a second thought, I was scared I'd run into Aaron, but if I turned back what was I gonna do. Just casually say Oh I need you both to be my knight in shining armor, though that didn't sound like a bad idea at all. Ugh! My brain can think of some unrealistic fantasies that is not possible.

Ping!

A message from Noah, inviting me to a party. Seriously? Sometimes I wonder if they have a loose screw somewhere. Ignoring the message I went about my business. School was now over and I still had the project to finish that Desmond and I had to complete and technically I'm the one finishing it by myself so yeah life's fun.

"Avery, wait up," Desmond yelled. Summer was talking to Aaron and I saw Autumn looking in their direction with a scornful look. Right, have I forgot to mention Autumn, she's the third popular girl and has a huge crush on Aaron. A light tap was on my shoulder as I turned to face Dessy.

"Didn't you hear me calling you?" He asked as a matter of fact.

"Yeah I do but it's my mouth and I didn't feel like answering," I replied.

"Remember when I said I wanted to talk to you about something this morning," he questioned.

"Yup but you didn't so what was it?" I questioned.

He opened his phone showing me the picture of the different parts of the project before he proceeded, "I wanted to know where you're at so I can finish the rest."

My heart started racing, my cheeks were heating up.

"W-what did you say," I asked shakily.

Desmond looked at me concerned, turning my head in the other direction I muttered, "I'll did the first half and you can complete the rest lemme know when you're done."

Walking away he held my arm and turned me in his direction he came close to my face examining my reaction.

"Are you coming down with a cold," he asked oblivious to the fact that he was causing it.

"W-w-what, no, of course not I'm f-fine," I stuttered.

Ugh oh, I wish the ground opened and swallow me up from this embarrassment. He chuckled at my reaction.

"You're so cute sunflower," he said.

My heart raced quicker as if it was a horse running on a racetrack. My body became flustered at those words. Why'd I felt like this? Why does this i***t have to say such words? Forgetting that I was in the middle of the school outside. I became self-aware, "I gotta go now and finish the assignment, we'll talk later."

He nodded and watched me walk away.

What was that all about? Why did my heart react like that to him? Am I falling in lo—no that's not possible, right? He's just trying to be nice to me. Maybe I'm overthinking it. Either way, this doesn't help how I feel right now. When I'm home, I'm gonna research how to know when you're in love with someone or if I'm attracted to him or not.