Love not Lost

Chapter four

It was a bright and sunny day. The smell of coffee woke me from the bed. I staggered out of bed, in my pink pajamas, embraced colors back into my life, and allowed the sunlight into my room. I needed to be out of the shackle.

I walked straight into the kitchen, barefooted, rubbing my face with my hands

Such a beautiful nerdy sexy guy to see first thing in the morning in shorts with a bare chest.

I walked over to him and placed a kiss on his cheek

He handed me a cup of coffee “Good morning and Happy birthday in advance baby girl”

“Ooh thank you my love, and good morning to you too,” I said smiling and sipped my coffee

I will be thirty-two next week and am looking forward to it, unlike previous years when I would be sad because menopause knocking at my door without a child. This year I just want to have all the fun and be happy.

Micheal and I have just two years of age difference. Every year on my birthday, Micheal cooks my favorite dishes and we go picnicking, It could be in the park or near a lake. But I think I want something different this year, I don’t know yet, but I will figure it out.

“What are we eating baby?” I asked standing beside him, holding him by the waist.

“Am frying some pancakes” he added oil to the frying pan and flipped the pancake to the other side.

“Uh you are making a lot of effort baby”

“Anything for you your highness” while he made a bowing gesture. I laughed

“I hope you are going to finish the whole portion today”

“I promise “ I giggled and nuzzled his throat, savoring the salty taste of his skin. “Am just gonna sit down here and watch you do what you do”

I sat on a chair not too far from him while I watched as he cooked. He is so manly, strong, and beautiful. He strokes his full dark hair to the side, ignorant of his seductive act. I bit my lower lip, feeling the urge to hold him from behind and let him have his way with me right here on this table. It is a must he touches me today, the break is over.

I know no man can treat me better not that I have dated enough to weigh my options but I know he is just the one for me. He treats me so well and he makes me want to love him over and over again.

My mind digresss from my lusting to the event of the past few weeks

It has been more than a week since we went for the therapy. My mental health is a lot better now with the help of the prescriptions.

It was his peace of mind not until I got a mental breakdown. That period was very bumpy for our marriage. Thank Goodness things are back to normal but not completely. Our s*x life is not yet on fire like it used to be, all we do is cuddle most times under the duvet. I love the way he has been gentle with me and helping me through my healing process

Fertility is one of our major problems in the marriage. I wouldn’t say it is both our problem because Micheal never worries about it. We’ve tried almost every possible means to get pregnant but it not just working. Medically, the doctor said we are fine, which makes me want to go crazy the more. If am medically fine to have a baby why am I not pregnant yet? Sometimes I used to feel like it would have been better if there was a problem so we would know, this is the reason a baby isn’t forthcoming, I must be crazy to be having that kind of thought.

Whenever I think of my predicament it makes me want to be like Mary. Mary was my high school classmate, she got pregnant when she was just fourteen years old. When I was having the mental breakdown I envied her, I do not even know her whereabouts but I just felt like she must have had everything figured out, her life must be perfect and complete.

I do not want to dwell on thinking that is not healthy for me, so all I do these days is sleep, eat, and take my drugs, and have not been going out much. Micheal has been my antidote and source of peace

“Food is ready” I heard him say cutting my thoughts short

“Am ready chef” I said rubbing my palm together

“Are you sure?” he said in a baritone voice

“Yeah yeah chef,” I said excitedly

He dished the meal while we ate on the kitchen table

“We’ve not eaten at the dining for some time now, why? I asked

“It's because you like it here, if you like I can bring your meal to the bed,” he said smiling

“Oooh Please,” I said rolling my eyes and then stuck my tongue out

“Do you want me to suck that for you”

“Nooo you are so disgusting, can’t you think of anything else while eating,” I said smiling while he laughed “Honestly the meal was as good as its smell, Thank you”

“You are utmostly welcome” Chuckling, he dabs his mouth “I could do it for you every day”

“I wouldn't want to die of pancakes” I retorted, rolling my eyes at him again

“That hurts am going to culinary school”

I burst into laughter uncontrollably

*having conversations like this always makes me happy. We’ve created this home together, I never want it to crumble.

We could discuss it in bed at midnight whenever it difficult to sleep until sleep will

Eventually takes over us, we could be in the same room and still text each other it is always fun and some days it is the other way around.

We moved to California in, the second year of our marriage from Texas. I work at a construction company while Bridget works for a tech company from home. I was transferred from Texas to the California branch by my company. Bridget had always wanted to relocate to experience a new environment, since she works at home it was easy for us to move.

“Hunnie, did Nicholas call you?” I asked

“No he texted me, he talked about coming to visit us soon, I think he said by next week”

“Yea he called me this morning he said he has a surprise for us”

“Wow! I wonder what that is” she said then packed the plates to do the dishes

“I wonder too”

We don't keep friends that much, especially me, I don’t think have ever had a serious friendship. I do not know how to keep a friend as a child and even as an adult. The only friend We have is Nicholas he was Bridgett's closest friend back in college, I met him a few times when I went to visit Bridget in her school. The three of us had a few drinks together and we became a best friend, I must thank Bridgett for that.

Am not much of a social person but because of her, I could try the craziest things in the world, we had our first drink and smoked together, and sneaked into a club when we were not of age.

“Baby I told you to always clear the kitchen table while cooking, you can’t just leave all the ingredients out,” she said

“Am sorry bad habits are not easy to quit” I said with a funny face

“Mmm,” she said with a smirk on her face

“Make sure you take ur medication when you are done washing,” I said trying to a get a hand towel to clean the table

“I wouldn’t joke with it”