If Only (BxB)

Heat and heartbreak

I thought I misheard it. Nina just asked for the promise rings that Ashlyn gifted me.

I make a futile attempt to hide the box further behind my back, but Gayle’s contemptuous gaze swept over me and my hands, then his eyes flitted towards Nina, “Do you really need something touched by him? Wouldn’t it be dirty?”

“Yes, I really want those rings”

“But-”

“Alpha Gayle I really want the rings but… but if you’ve started loving Luna Irving, and feel like you can’t give me something that belongs to him, then I understand, I’ll back off…” Nina put on a mournful expression like she gave up, but her eyes were still adamantly glued to the box in my hand.

Hearing Nina’s words, Gayle looked like he blew a fuse. Dread washed over me, I knew that Nina’s plan was successful.

“It’s just some cheap rings, of course I can give them to you”, Gayle strode towards me furiously as I frantically retreated. Those rings might be cheap to him, but they were priceless for me.

“Gayle, Gayle please don’t do this, they are very important to me. Please, I beg you…”

But Gayle paid no heed to my pleas and proceeded to yank the box in my hand, I tried to clutch it with all my might but it didn’t work. His icy blue eyes locked onto me menacingly as he pulled the box out of my hands and handed it over to Nina, He then pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his hands on it.

Nina examined the rings in her hand and shot me a victorious smile, with a provoking gaze she tugged at Gayle’s hand, “Alpha Gayle they’re so beautiful, can you put it on my finger? Pretty please?”

A hint of reluctance flashed past Gayle’s face for a moment before he proceeded to go along with Nina’s demand. Infront of my disbelieving gaze, he put the ring, an oath of eternal love, onto Nina’s finger while she did the same for him. I couldn’t stop the tears streaming down my face as I watched on, utterly dazed.

“Thank you, Alpha Gayle. I was worried that Alpha might’ve started liking Luna since you’re living with him, but I’m so glad that you still care about me. It scared me... what if you start having feelings for him…”, Nina put on a heartbroken expression as she lowered her gaze.

Gayle vehemently denied, “Nonsense Nina, I could never have feelings for an Omega, much less a disgusting freak like him. Don’t worry, your fears will never come true”

Every single one of his words pierced my heart. Nina was probably aiming to get me kicked out of the house, but I knew Gayle wouldn’t do that, at least … not yet. He let me be close to him only because he needed me.

The two people, constantly whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears, left me behind and walked away.

Heat rushed to my head and my vision began swaying, the sudden onslaught of dizziness made me slump on the bed. My mother’s foreboding words kept ringing in my head, her predictions of our tragic end looking closer than ever.

When will all of this stop, would it end if I destroyed myself?

My body continued to heat up, sweat slid down my back and forehead. When my vision started clouding up with tears, I realized I was in heat, propping up my trembling body, I quickly shut the door to my room and locked it, afraid that Gayle might fly into a rage if he smelled my pheromones.

This wasn’t my first heat, my first heat was a way more of a disastrous affair than this.

Werewolves who’ve already found their mate undergo heat at the age of 18, it’s nature’s way of providing newfound mates a means to deepen their connection and bond for life, it’s a sacred ritual.

Yet when I had my first heat, I had no idea what it was. Usually, it’s a parent’s responsibility to educate their children in this regard once they find their mates, but I couldn’t expect such a thing from mine. Ashlyn doesn’t have a mate, so she isn’t very knowledgeable either.

My heat first occurred when I was heading to the pack house, I had to pass by several other houses that belonged to the pack members and ignored my heat symptoms as some sort of common cold, completely clueless of how lethal my pheromones were to unmated werewolves.

I was attacked and almost dragged towards the bushes by a man I didn’t recognize, had it not been for a kind woman who saved me, I couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened to me. She told me to rush back to my mate before my heat worsens and to not leave the house in such dire straits.

That’s when I realized I was in heat, I was confused at the sudden turn of events but even more ecstatic at the possibility of overcoming my differences with Gayle and bonding with him. It was naïve to think that sleeping with him would resolve everything, but I was at the end of my rope and didn’t care anymore.

I had rushed home out of breath and shifted out of my wolf the moment I smelled my mate’s scent, thankful that he was home. Anticipating my mate’s reaction I excitedly ran to tell him…

***

2 years ago

“Gayle, I’m in h-heat…” My cheeks were burning with embarrassment as I shyly confided in him. My palms sweating with nervousness as I kept my head down, waiting for his response. We haven’t talked much since my 17th birthday, but this was something we had to solve together.

And yet, what he said weren’t words of affection that I was hoping for, instead what came out of his mouth were endless curses. He pinched his nose to keep away my scent, while glaring at me with red eyes full of anger.

“You slut! How dare you try to seduce me with your dirty body. You think you can snag the title of Luna with lust?! Keep dreaming Omega! I should’ve known how low you’d stoop for your ambitions.”

I couldn’t help but stare at Gayle in shock, utterly bewildered. It’s not like I wanted my heat to come. I heard that heat was something that came naturally to unbonded mates once a year, isn’t that so?

Then why was Gayle making it sound like I caused my heat, or… was I becoming so desperate that I triggered it on my own?

I was still trying to figure out the mess I was in, while my body grew feverish by the second. A harsh grip on my wrist brought me back to reality. Gayle began furiously dragging me upstairs as I barely kept up.

He pushed me into my room and locked it from the outside.

“I will never bond with an abnormality like you, not in this lifetime!”, yelling, Gayle briskly walked away from my room and out of the house apparently.

Gayle never cared about how I would escape the room when he locked it. I kept banging on the door but it was useless, my consciousness was so hazy that I couldn’t remember how to mindlink. Because of constant sweating and excess use of energy, my body was quickly overcome with thirst and hunger.

Gayle didn’t return for the next two days, the house was deserted and my phone was in the hall. I thought of jumping down the window several times, but with my current situation I’d end up breaking a leg, and get assaulted because of my potent pheromones.

I lay on the cold floor, devoid of any hope, until I heard the door unlock, Mrs. Dale peeped into my room and issued a horrified gasp.

“Luna Irving!”, she rushed towards me and worriedly checked my pulse. Probably seeing my chapped lips, she ran off to fetch a glass of water for me. I was barely conscious when I felt water pour into my mouth and greedily drank it all.

“Luna… how did this happen, I knew you were in heat… but I thought Alpha Gayle would be taking care of you. I didn’t know… I didn’t”

Mrs. Dale looked like she was barely keeping herself together, we hired her two months ago so this was probably the first time she got to see how strained my relationship with Gayle was.    

After helping me eat and drink to my fill, Mrs. Dale told me that she didn’t see me or Gayle for the last two days and thought that we were dealing with our heat, but when she was sweeping on the second floor, she realized that the door to my room was locked on the outside so she grew concerned.

If it weren’t for her intuition and keen sight …… I would’ve been killed by my own mate.

***

Ever since that day, whenever my heat came, I’d lock myself in my room, afraid of history repeating itself. Mrs. Dale would very conscientiously, leave daily necessities like food and water at my door.

My body kept growing hot from desire, but it only served to make me feel more disgusted with myself. I despised myself for craving someone’s touch to the extent that I’d go into heat on my own. There was no way to deal with heat apart from s*x, even jerking off didn’t work, I could only wait for it to pass after three days.

A burning sensation started spreading from my chest and I began writhing in pain. I didn’t feel a single ounce of surprise at my mate cheating on me right now, I already lost the rings what else could I lose?

_________________________

Werewolf tidbits: -

1.Only werewolves who’ve found their mates get their heat when they turn 18. Heats are a way to bond with your mate. If a person hasn’t found their mate by 18 then they don’t get their heat until they meet their mate.

2.Bonding is the s*x werewolves have during their heats, after which they are able to perceive each other’s emotions and feel even clingier than before towards their partner.