Why I'd Rather Be Wrong

Chapter 8, Part 4: Guilty Pleasure

Jaze D'Angelo

     "So, where and what do you wanna eat?" he asked and I'm actually clueless.

     I actually miss eating chipotle now, it's my all-time favorite and it's been a while. But, I don't have the urge to tell and suggest that to him so I guess I'm just gonna let him decide. Because I'm sure he's gonna treat me anyway. It's not like I want him to pay for me though, it's just that I already know that he's not gonna let me pay for my meal tonight, that's for sure.

     "Again, I'm down for anything," I replied.

     "Hmm, what about chipotle?" he asked, and yes, thank God, he had that in mind. "Ah, nevermind," he said and just continued driving around while thinking about other places where we could eat for dinner.

     "Why? Chipotle seems good too, y'know," I insisted, trying to change his mind because my insides are actually begging for chipotle.

     "I'm just makin' sure -" he replied without even looking at me. I don't even know what he's talking about. "- that everything goes well tonight," he added which also added a whole bunch of confusion to my merely clueless mind.

     "Making sure about what?" I asked and he didn't even look at me.

     "Nothing," he said, and he's obviously not telling me something. He's being so shady. "Seems like there's nowhere else to eat," he said and I truly object to that because we literally passed by so many freaking fast-food restaurants already.

     I just chose to shut up since I ain't the one paying anyway so I'm just gonna let him take me wherever he wants. He didn't even say a word anymore as if he already had something in mind about where to have dinner tonight, which was great, but I know for sure that it's going to be a fancy one, like really. I just turned on my phone because I know that my friends will definitely call me non-stop and I guess they're already starting to get worried about me by now. I just got way more upset about how unfortunate I am as I see people's lives are way better than mine just by judging the things I see about them on social media, but, I'm grateful since my life isn't as bad as someone else's. But I'm not pointing out those people whose life is way worse than mine, I'm just happy that mine is kind of manageable, I guess...

     To be honest, I think I could already forgive my friends at this current point in time. Because first of all, they're all that I have in this city. I also don't wanna be devoured by this hatred that I feel towards them, so I guess I'm gonna make amends with them as soon as possible. But for now, I'm just gonna have some time for myself, breathe this all in, and see if this is actually what I want. My relationship with this guy is getting deeper and I see absolutely nothing wrong. I also feel happy being myself when I'm around him. Though, we aren't official yet. But I guess we're getting there. And I'm happy about that.

     We've been driving around for a couple of minutes already and I just noticed us pulling over at a candy store, like...what?

     "What are we doing here?"

     "I'm just gonna go grab some, been craving for some candy, wanna go in there with me?" he asked as he already unbuckled his seatbelt and just stared at me with those pleading eyes of his.

     "I'm not really a fan of sweets, but I'd go in there with you. I wouldn't have thought that you're into sweets though, that's kinda bizarre of you. Well, I don't really know you yet, but I guess I'm already progressing," I said.

     "It's just -" he stopped for a second as he was kind of hesitant to say something. "It's a guilty pleasure of mine, and I have the sweetest damn tooth, like ever," he said.

     "It's fine, everyone has guilty pleasures, yours is not as bad as my friends' though," I replied.

     "You said everyone so that includes you, right? So, what's your guilty pleasure?" he asked and yeah, I regret what I have just said. Ugh, how the tables turned.

     I put my chin as I started to think about what is actually my guilty pleasure. I just remembered that I have plenty, but I'm just gonna spill out one, as this one's pretty embarrassing enough. "I'm obsessed with Taylor Swift's songs," I murmured.

     He shrugged his shoulders "W-what's wrong with that?" he asked and every part of his face is full of confusion.

     "I blast her songs...throughout the house...when my friends are out..." I said as I squeezed my arms in between my thighs, embarrassed.

     "Yeah, that's actually kinda crazy," he said. "Anyway, let's go, we still have to go somewhere and eat dinner."

     "Are we eating there? You know we could've just had takeout, right?" I said right after we parked right in front of a small restaurant that relatively looks like a house, but not totally. It's an Italian restaurant, as stated at the front of the restaurant, and the name's Odyssey Italian Restaurant, it's the first time I've been in this vicinity though. I couldn't really tell if this restaurant is an expensive restaurant, but I'm pretty sure the food here is great, as Italian food never really failed to amaze me. Though I'd rather eat takeouts than him paying for me since I realized that it's all way too much, I feel like I'm being spoilt by this man right here.

     "Just let me, this is the least that I can do for you," he said and I just shook my head.

     "The least? What would be the most? You're gonna buy me one of these mountains here in Denver?"

     "Who knows? I might," he replied and he obviously fell for my joke in the wrong way which I immediately regretted because this man could possibly do everything he says.

     "I'm just joking, I don't actually mean it, you're crazy if you ever did buy me one," I replied, and for a moment I just noticed that we're still in the car, talking to each other. "Let's save the chatter while we eat dinner, let's go," I said then already went out of his fancy as heck car.

     We entered the restaurant together and I was astounded by everything about this restaurant. I underestimated how it looks from the outside, and yet the inside kind of punched me right at my face while my jaw dropped. It's relatively small, I'm not gonna lie, but that doesn't matter actually. The atmosphere was very cozy and warm, it makes me think of a fireplace's presence even though there's none since everything's so orangy, even the lighting. I was mesmerized by the portraits on the wall that are truly a masterpiece. The walls are made of bricks and they're so fascinating to look at. He held my hand then dragged me towards a table, regardless of the people staring at us as we entered, he just kept holding my hand like we're already lovers. I just sat and realized that this place is actually a wine bar too, as I noticed the wine bottles displayed everywhere and there's a bar on the corner. All of a sudden, I just asked myself if I have a shift today, I quickly grabbed my phone in my pocket, and thankfully, no notification from Dylan showed up. I guess I'm safe to do anything I wanna do tonight. There are other customers in here but their number is lesser than my fingers. We sat at the table with a white and red tablecloth and folded red napkins on it. The table is also located beside the wall which was a relief, as I don't wanna be sitting at the center and also be the center of the attention of the people eating here.

     "Why are you smiling?" he asked me as he sat down.

     I just realized that I was so happy about this place I couldn't even refrain from smiling "I uh -  just love the place so much. Have you ever been here before?"

     "Yeah it's pretty nice, it's actually my first time here too," he said.

     "Chase! It's been a while!" a guy that I don't know anything about just approached him from behind and wrapped his arm around his neck as a form of greeting. Right after he did that, I suppose this is someone he knows. "What brings you here? It's been so long since the last time you've -" he canceled what he's about to say as Cassius low-key glared at him, and then gazed upon me as if he just noticed me "Oh, I see, you're with a...friend. Hi, my name's Tal, I work here as a waiter," he said then offered his hand and I just started wondering what's this guy's relationship to Cassius.

     I also reached my hand and we shook hands "Name's Jaze, it's so nice to meet you, Tal."

     He just smiled "Anyways, what can I get for the both of ya?" he asked with his hands on his back.

     "Just give us a second, Tal, I'm just gonna call you when we're ready to order," he said then smiled at him awkwardly, low-key implying that he's kinda embarrassed about something that Tal did.

     "Alright, take your time, I'll be around," he said then already walked away from our table.

     "So, first time, huh?" I asked right away, taunting him. "Why do you have to lie? Even in such little things."

     "I'm exposing my bad side while I still have it, because I might give it up, eventually, for you..." he said and I just turned my head, facing the wall, hiding my blush while I grinned discreetly.

     I then gazed upon him with a blank face, showing some attitude "Still, I don't like that," I replied, boldly and he was low-key worried.

     "Noted," he replied with a reassuring smile as if from now on he's gonna change. "I'm actually bad at keeping promises but...I guess I'll try," he added.

     "How'd you know you're bad at keeping promises? How many promises have you broken before?" I asked, curiously.

     "None," he replied in a decisive tone as if he's actually certain about his answer but he just made me float in a galaxy of endless confusion.

     "What do you mean? How are you bad at keeping promises then?"

     "It's because I don't," he replied with the same accent. "I don't keep promises, nor make one, I was deeply traumatized about promises due to something that had happened before."

     "Care to tell?"

     "Let's just order our food first, and I'll tell you while we eat, is that good?" he asked while he browsed through the menu. I saw what he did back there, he couldn't really figure out if he could tell me about what happened to him before that made him elude promises, so he also put the topic aside first so that he could think about how he'd tell me about it.

     That Tal guy already approached us, holding a cloche with each hand. "Thank you for your patience, here's your delicious and fabulous meal for tonight," he rapidly said in one breath then placed both of the cloches on our table and removed the cover. The steam from our meal emerged as he removed the cover then there we saw our fabulous meal, just like he said. Just by looking at it already appetizes me. I ordered one serving of Lasagna Al Forno, and he ordered a plate of Lobster Ravioli. Tal then put our respective food right in front of us "Enjoy," he said then already walked away with the cloches with him.

      He suddenly clasped his hands together on the table while he closed his eyes. I just rested my chin on my hands on the table while I stared at him in awe while he prayed, sticking my sight into his lips that are just syncing the words he's saying in his head. After a minute, he opened his eyes, and he immediately saw me staring at him but I didn't mind.

     "You're so cute when you do that," I said with a smile on my face then already sat properly.

     He just smiled "What about you? Don't wanna pray first before you eat?" he asked.

     "Nah, I'm pretty sure you've already included me in your prayers so... I don't mind."

     He grinned and then facepalmed "I mean...you're not wrong," he replied while he shrugged his palms up.

     We already started eating and heck, the food is so good. I wanna focus on eating this and clear my plate in just a minute but I'm gonna slow down as I still want him to tell something while we're still eating. "So, what's that traumatizing event that happened to you before?" I asked after taking a bite of my precious Lasagna. He briefly paused after taking a bite which suddenly made me feel guilty as if I was forcing him to tell something that's supposed to be for his knowing only. "I uh - I ain't pushing. If you don't wanna tell me, don't, it's fine."

     "No, haha, it's just -" he paused and then suddenly put his index finger in his mouth and scraped his teeth. "Something just got stuck in between my teeth," he said, and I'm trying so hard not to laugh while I stared at the toothpick dispenser on the table. Well, there's nothing wrong with that though, I actually find it so cute of him. I enjoy discovering his tiny little flaws.

     "So, can you tell me?" I asked, convincingly.

     "I actually feel uncomfortable talking about it in public so, mind if we just eat and I'll tell you that when we got back to my car?"

     "Oh - okay, no...problem..." I replied, visibly showing a few inches of uncertainty since I am the one that's gonna be uncomfortable talking inside a vehicle.

     "Let's just talk about it once we got back home then," he said, thankfully, he was able to pick up what I'm trying to convey.

     We already finished eating, I was the one who finished my meal first so I ended up checking on my phone, left wondering about what story he's gonna tell me later while he's still eating, savoring each particle of his food.

     All of a sudden, I was being called by nature as I have drunk a whole glass of cold water after eating.

     "Uhm... I'm just gonna go to the bathroom real quick, is that okay?" I asked politely while already attempting to stand up as I feel like my bladder's already gonna explode any moment by now.

     He raised both of his eyebrows while he rested his elbow on the table "Sure, why wouldn't that be okay? Go ahead," he said and I already looked for the bathroom and found it in just a second.

     I already headed to the bathroom and did whatever a man does when he's going to pour down some waste. I walked towards the tiny sink after I finished and looked at myself in the mirror right in front of me to see if I still look okay, or more like - admirable. I washed my hands and lightly drenched my hair to be able to swipe my tiny bangs aside and... I guess I'm good to go. I turned back and as soon as I had touched the knob, I suddenly heard women shouting from outside. I quickly went outside of the bathroom and what stumbled upon my eyes was so unbelievable. 

     "f*****g tell me where the heck is he?!"