Fated to be together or not [COMPLETED]

The pain

Nicolle:

Alex was talking over his phone but I am not interested in anything now. I lost. I can see all my hopes setting along with the sun. The sky is orange, it definitely looks beautiful if you are in a good mood. But for me, it's a reminder that every day has a night.

My relationship has reached its night and I am not sure if we are ever going to see another day in our love life. My love life, it ended even before it started. Alex had just started opening up to me. He was so happy. The look on his face when he expressed his love.

I don't think he planned on declaring his love like this, but maybe he decided to do it because he thought I was going to say something. Whatever it was, it ended.

I have to say no to him. I can't say yes.

After a few minutes Alex came back and looked at me. I was not meeting his eyes.

“Nicolle?” He took my chin in his hand. I looked towards him and saw his face dropping. He removed his hand quickly.

“Sorry. I … I have … I have to be somewhere. We will talk later.” He rubbed the back of his head, and left the room. 

And then I realized, he said I Love you and I was crying. He must have thought I was crying because of his confession and left in hurry. Suddenly my phone beeped. Mrs. Colton. Ugh

“Yes”

“I told you Nicolle, don’t try to cross me. I am sorry, but I guess it was necessary to show you the reality.”

“What do you want?”

“Leave Alex.”

I didn't say anything. I was choking under my own tears.

“Either you leave him or I will force him to leave you. It would be better if you leave him because then he will think you never loved him. If I force him, he will break down.”

“Why are you doing this? How can you do this to him? He is your son.”

“I have my reasons and I don’t think I need to tell you." She almost yelled, but came back to her fake sweet voice. "So should I expect Alex in Seattle this week or next week?”

I hung up the call without replying.

Why is this happening? Alex declared his love today and I couldn’t even say I love you too. I sat on the floor and hugged my knees. I didn’t even try to control my sobs.

I have been crying for a few hours when I heard a knock on the door. I wiped my tears and opened the door. Alex. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him. His eyes were all red and was heavily drunk. I wanted to hug him, kiss him, and love him. I want to shout out loud "I Love You." But I can't.

Alex:

I ran outside the room and went to a nearby bar. The feeling is killing me. This is my life. I loved for the first time and well, I made her cry. F**k you, Alex. You are an a*****e.

I had a lot of thoughts about expressing my love to her. I had thought of arranging a private tour for her, maybe on the ocean, or air tour. And then in the middle of Ocean, or in the air, I would say to her I Love You. Or maybe in front of all our family, friends, I would go on a knee and propose to her. 

But all that is gone now. I told her all that because I knew she was going somewhere with that "Do you remember kiss in RV.." talk. I knew she was about to say something and I just said all that hoping she would see my love.

It was supposed to be simple. We live together; raise a child together. And we love each other. Everyone gets this in life. It's not something out of this world. I didn't ask for anything impossible.

I can see girls trying to approach me, I want to shout. I don't want you. There is someone else I want, but I guess she doesn't want me. Well, it's not her fault. She suffered a lot. I guess it's hard for her to trust anyone.

But I think I was patient with her. I was very cautious in dealing with her. Every time I was near her, I used to read her expressions. I guess I was too excited in myself, and misread her expressions.

If she is not ready, or doesn't want to give this relationship a chance, I think I should step down. I told her I will let her decide. And if this is her decision, I will agree to it, even if it pains me. It's going to be a tough life for me. with no one to love, care, laugh. All the hopes I had in my heart are gone.

I was just drinking without thinking about anything when I saw the time.  It's 10 in the night. I should go back. Nicolle is alone in the room. I should be careful. She is my responsibility, even if she doesn't love me. 

I knocked and it took her a few minutes to open the door. I started to think about calling the front desk to open the door, but she opened it before I call anyone. And then I saw her. She was crying this whole time and I want to kill myself for this. I caused all these tears.

She was perfectly fine, and I had to mess up everything by saying all that. I am heavily drunk and don’t know where I am walking but I made sure I was away from Nicolle. I don't think she wants to be near me as well.

“Sorry Nicolle. It won't happen again. I crossed my line today." I chuckled. "Again.". I adjusted myself while facing the balcony. "Don't worry about anything. Pretend I never said anything. Well, it was nothing if I am being honest.” And with that, I took a blanket and closed the balcony door. I decided to sleep outside. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.

Nicolle:

When I opened the door, Alex looked towards me for a few seconds and I saw his jaw clenching. He was trying hard to control his emotions. God, I want to hug him. He looked the other side and walked but he made sure he was away from me.

He told me I should not worry about anything, and what he said was nothing. It was everything Alex. Everything I wanted, everything you wanted. He went to sleep on the balcony. I closed my eyes and then looked at him again. He was sitting on the floor and was looking towards the sky. I walked towards him, unable to take it anymore. But I felt dizzy.

“Alex” I tried to call him, but it came as a whisper. So, I just sat on the chair and didn't know when I slept.