life and hell again

day I was born wasn't your normal baby birth .while my mother wad give Birth to I came into world of no hope . my heart stopped a few times, but my mum told Dr's and nurse to keep going they did and then heartbeat agin .born into the world not hearing anything and health issues. still on going . as I grew I was left in darkness could heathen r until I got my hearing aid the world open and I was come out o dark place . but things where to aloud like mum talk to me it was like I was get scream at but I wasn't very hurts to aloud. then I saw sunshine again it hard for any parent to have child with hearing problems but it was test and appointment got me through it my hearing team Fiona and uncle Erinny and Dr langan help and passionate to help children . going there in a box where they but head set on and button to press every time you hear a noise beep and press once it was done I got sticker and want for the grown up to finish to talk . that was at the children hearing place at arrows park or Oxton road clilnic . as I got older I rebell on my hearing aid and and body change.My little brother was born 12July 1990 he was normal child we grew up argue and battle against each other. and I went through my year and then at the age of 11 years old I was abuse by family member use place house to pass the day it happened for years and I told my mum and she protected me bit it all hush hush . my body was growing to quick . when I got to high school I was bullied for long curl hair and hearing aid or my big boobs bigger than most girl . I had chew in my hair and all sort .of course mum help . make friend for me was hard .mum sign me up for karate at charring Cross community play area to again conferences in myself . one day I did had fight with one of my friend keep been mean and I got told never use your frist with out the other person strick first I did . . special need Head of year Mrs kitchen she was clap and saying well done for standing up for myself a she was lovely lady I left school had never had boyfriend. I was glad so much drama back then.when to collage met people but never friends with them . then my second college I made friends and then start to speak to lad there he was nice and kind and listen to each other I had crush on him he never new it but friends said go for it . as they could see there something there I never did then I saw him in pub years later and hug him I never wanted to let go or leave . I want to deep down to kiss and tell him my crush on him . I think he knew it deep down ste .he now married and kids. I had many boyfriend bit never trust them never fallen in love .with any of them accept one cookie we went to primary school together and lost all contacts then in club use to be called fever . I was dance with my friend and there he was stand their first thing out my mouth was your name ste cook .he said yes . I though right going to tell him and end up text each and start relationship meet my mum and she remember him then I home away and never saw him again. years later found him and it went south he had girlfriend and see me in the side and had see once I found out I stop and became stuck in my own body . found out I was pregnant and lost it . then that was end of it then he found me again start and I end it . then in .2007 more hell started March 2007 clock went forward I was on night out have nice time and drink and dance never drunk then got out look for a taxi and then taxi man was chatting me up . trying to filrt but I wasn't have any of it made up that I had boyfriend . I didn't really . then I was checking my friend who was drunk I drop her off at home first make sure she was OK and got in .then it my turn to go home 3 mins away and it all went wrong . I was r**e by the taxi man he took me somewhere else cab was lock could get out trying to call out could my phone die try to escaped could I was locked .in cab in the woods in melos. then he r**e me I was looking straight up into sky pretend to be somewhere else wait to be over .once he stop he then took me back home I was shout for my mum with riped stop ran in woke mum shout mum mum I've been r***d .I was r**e over and over agin she got up and dial 999 said my daughter been r***d I had no sleep no shower no drink . until police turn up. my called them said she need to drink it was only water jug of it . police turn up and I had to get undress and went the toilet with police women stand there watch me . I had to hand over my clothes and shoes to them then took to have test done I was in days . I shut down think how this could happen to me . . it went to court few time and taxi that r**e me he was from Liverpool married and kids . every time court came his lawyer walk out not once three time . and then it was year to the date 2008 March at Liverpool crown court. I didn't want to see him . judge was nice to me . as I stood in the dock tell my what happens start to feel ill like have stroke or heartattack.i had my mum friend with me Pat soon ingot out of court I hug her so tight. ad I couldn't hug my mum as she was in court. it went on for days then finally the day . it was a deadlock and he got banned from working and drivers job or to.step on the wirral. I lost all my friend and I was on my own I had family support. I then start to go back on the town with my friend and meet up with them and few others lad . I start to feel Been me again .and I was dance and drink on the dance to 80'S musics and some lad run up and pick me up he good looking lad we start to firlt and stay at mine few time no second until Xmas time. then there was another lad we had banter people said get room it was banter and then switch numbers then .even had drink in at mine with him and my friend and her fella at the time . got few drink in but my friend put vaigra in his can to get him going why don't know . never worked .I kinda like him but I was shy person . then went to his for barbecue drink and talk have laugh .then we went are different ways 2009 got text off him