Death Won't Stop Me

I have never been the most smooth, suave kind of guy. It's not that I'm afraid to talk to girls or that I can't take rejection. I have this strange condition that every time I try to talk to girls I black out and the next thing I see is either the girl walking away or worse, I get one of those stinging slaps on the face. I wasn't always this way. During my college years, I could talk to girls just fine. In fact, I've had a few flings here and there. This strange condition started during our graduation day. I was talking to this gorgeous girl I have liked for a long time that also happened to be my seatmate in the ceremony, then suddenly, I felt this almost unbearable pressure in my chest. It was like there was something squeezing me until I passed out. Well, at least I think I passed out. Because next thing I knew I was already standing in line next to be called onto the stage looking straight at the girl's cute, dainty hand coming right at me. It was my most memorable slow-motion moment in my life. It was all too sudden and I couldn't dodge. I later found out that it was the highlight of our year's graduation ceremony. It has been almost three months since my strange condition started. I haven't had any luck with women since then. It has been a very depressing few months for me, and there hasn't been any sign of this curse going away anytime soon. **** *SLAP* "Again?!" I shouted in my mind as I watched the lady I've been eyeing in the bar all night walk away from me looking disgusted from our "conversation" that I don't even remember having. "Hahaha! And that's how you do it folks! A very visual lesson on how to repel women from our very own chick repellant, Jon!" My friend waiting at our table shouted as I went back and slumped on my chair. "Its not funny Joey. I don't even know what happens and women just walks away or slaps me." "Its like a curse! Ever since that day it just keeps on happening to me." I replied. "Okay, I'm sorry Jon. You should try talking to a psychiatrist. Maybe you have a split personality or something." "..." "C'mon Jon, its not that bad.. I guess. Maybe they already have a cure for that." "Alright. First thing Monday I'll go to one." I replied while trying to drink my troubles away. In a secluded table in the corner of the bar where Jon and Joey were drinking. A woman dressed in a red sultry dress and a man in business suit were talking while looking at Jon. " Is that him?", asked the man. "Yeah...", replied the woman sadly. "I can't help you with this one. It was your fault to begin with. You have to show them that you can clean up your mess.", the man said. "I know!", said the woman while pouting. "I'll fix it, alright?! Stop nagging big brother. I know what to do." **** Eddie didn't have a good childhood but he had a great life. Sure, his parents were never there when he really needed them but they had never run out of money. He grew up used to using money as a means to get what he wants. He had led a rich and spoiled life. "What? Where am I?" Eddie came to in a misty place. There was an enormous solid gate in front of him. Even from afar, he felt like an ant compared to the size of its black metal doors. At the very top of it, it had an arc that was made of white stone, its doors had sharp rivets, and there were big dragon heads on each door made of gold each biting a golden ring on each door. "Hey! You there! Come here!" A man dressed in an all black military uniform called out to him from the very front of the gate. Eddie looked around to see if there was anybody else beside him before pointing to himself and asked, "Me?" "Yeah, you! Stop standing there looking like a moron and come here." replied the military man. "Who are you? What is this place?" he asked looking scared. "I'm Hell's torturer! And you're my next client! Muwahahahaha!" the man suddenly shouted. "W-w-what?! Why.. How.." he was shocked at the sudden outburst of the military man and unconsciously stepped back. "Nah.. I'm kidding. You should have seen your face! You were like" Wha.. How?" Hahaha.." "..." "Anyway, I'm the gatekeeper of the path to rebirth. You are dead and are to be evaluated for a chance to be reborn." "So I'm really dead? How?" "Have you ever heard of DUI?" "Yeah isn't that driving under influence?" "Well, there you have it." "What?! Shouldn't I just get a ticket for that?" "Not for going over a cliff dumbass." "..." "You get points for creativity though. You got to spin the car three times before hitting the ground. That takes skill!" "Why you-" "Okay, I know, I know.. Go on in. Someone's going to process you. Good luck!" the man interrupted him while putting his hand on one side of the door. The door opened slowly and light started pouring out from the opening. It got so bright that Eddie had to close his eyes. "Eddie Briggs. Follow me." Eddie opened his eyes when he suddenly heard a woman's voice and was shocked to see that he was already inside a very spacious hall and there was a very beautiful lady urging him to follow her. She had a long black hair tied into a pony style. Her thick eyebrows accentuated her inky black eyes which made one feel they were staring inside an abyss. Her tall, dainty nose complemented her high cheek bones and her cherry red lips. She was wearing a red sultry dress with a white blazer perched on her shoulders. The red heels she was wearing was making a clacking sound that was very pronounced inside this spacious hall. He followed her to a white door that led to a room with two sofas opposite each other and a small table in the middle. "Please, sit." She said while walking to a corner of the room that looks like a pantry area of the room. "Coffee or tea?" "I think I'd like a beer if this is my last drink." Eddie replied while smiling his brightest smile in his mind. "Ugh.. Great. One of those guys." Thought the woman while walking back to the sofas. She sat on the one opposite of Eddie while slamming a beer bottle on the table. "Let's start" She said icily. The corner of Eddie's lips twitch while feeling a tingling sensation on his spine. Still, Eddie put what he felt in the back of his mind. He felt that with his "charms", He could subdue this gorgeous, cold woman. "So, tell me, what's a gorgeous lady like you.." *** *SLAP!* A slap sound so strong, it echoed from inside the room to outside the spacious hall. Other guides that could be seen working to and fro inside the spacious hall and the other souls being guided stopped and looked at the source of the sound, dumbfounded. Before the echo stopped, another two slaps were heard again. "Ana's mad again. I'm guessing another creepy guy showed up. She's like a magnet for creepy men." "But today, it looks like Ana's specially mad, I heard three slaps. Usually she stops with just one slap and she clams down." "Yeah. The guy must be a real piece of work." While the guides near the room were gossiping, a man in a slick business suit was seen rushing to Ana's room. "Hey look! It looks like the higher ups are concerned. Manager Kent is rushing over." "Wow, you're right. Ana must be really angry." When he arrived at the door to Ana's room, Manager Kent took a few seconds to catch his breath to calm himself then slowly opened the door. The moment he opened the door, a very heavy pressure slipped out of the room and rapidly spread outside. Kent saw Ana in the middle of the room crossing her arms on her front and Eddie was opposite her, kneeling on his knees and his body was bent forward with his head near the floor almost kissing it. The tip of Ana's hair was floating with no air present and her eyes were shining purple hues and her whole body were also shining with the same color. The blazer on her shoulder was floating almost to the height of her head while flapping with no winds present. "Ana." Kent called out. Hearing Kent's voice, Ana's anger broke and calmed down a little bit but the anger could still be seen in her eyes. As she calmed down, the pressure overflowing from her receded back inside her body. With her energy subsiding, she returned to her normal self, the shining eyes and body dimmed till it was gone and the floating hair and blazer slowly floated down. "Big brother." She said icily. "Why are you here?" "This girl.." Kent thought to himself. "I felt your energy going berserk from my station. What happened?" "He got on my nerves. He's the most disgusting soul I've ever guided!" Ana snapped. "You know its not part of our job to decide the soul's characters. What they do here only reflects what kind of humans they were before dying. And we assess their deeds when they were alive, not after. Stop letting your emotions control your evaluations." Kent lectured. "He tried touching my chest." A vein suddenly twitched on Kent's forehead. "WHAT?!" "He tried holding onto my thigh." The vein could be seen suddenly growing while it twitched again. "WHA-" "And he thinks I'm gullible enough that he can kiss me." "..." A pressure more heavier than what Ana porjected instantly dropped onto Eddie and spread out to feel the room. The whole room started shaking. Eddie felt like his whole body was sinking. Ana immediately felt her big brother's energy spiking up. She got startled. Due to her anger, she forgot that her big brother has a sister complex and told him what Eddie did. "YOU..DARE.." Kent said breathing heavily. "TO MY SISTER?!" He looked like a demon incarnate. His slick, clean-cut hair stood up like needles and suddenly turned white. His eyes turned all black and his teeth turned jagged. He started walking slow, heavy steps towards Eddie. "Big brother, stop!" Ana jumped to the front of Eddie shielding him from her big brother's hellish pressure. Barely holding on herself. "I-Its okay! I-I'm alright! See. I'm good now." Ana shakingly said in a fluster. She was afriad Eddie soul would disperse from her brother's pressure. Kent was jolted back to his senses when he saw his sister almost buckling over from him. "Ahem.. Get back to work. Stop getting mad at the souls! You're a soul guide!" Kent turned around and embarrassedly walked towards the door. "Yes, big brother." Ana sighed with relief when she saw her brother calming down. Kent suddenly stopped and his body twitched. He turned around with his face flushing and he angrily shouted at Ana. "And stop calling me brother! Its MANAGER! I'm your superior when we're on duty." "Yes, big brother." "You..." He felt his blood surge to his head. He decided that he can't win with his sister and just walked out. "Stand up. Let's go." Ana turned around and said to Eddie. "Wierd brother and sister pair. Hot sister and a geeky older brother." Eddie thought as he got up and followed Ana towards the door.