VJ

24 - Going home

Chloe

I called my mom this morning to let her know I’d arrive mid-afternoon. She only lives a couple of towns over, but anyone would have thought it had been years since we last saw each other. When in reality, it’s only been a couple of months. I don’t get home as often as I’d like these days because of all the work I do, and my parents don’t frequently visit me because they still work, too. No matter how short, this time will be just what we all need.

It isn’t a long ride to my parent’s house. Daisy has the music turned up loud enough for me to hear it. I won’t be able to hear her talking if she tries with the music this loud though, which is fine by me, I’m not really in the mood to chat right now. I feel like my world is spiraling out of control.

Before VJ walked into my life, I was fine. I went to work at the racetrack and taught the kids music, and I had fun with my friends. But since meeting him, I only realized this morning that I hadn’t seen any friends outside of Max and Daisy. They text me, but we haven’t met up, and the reason for that is because of VJ.

I’m not blaming VJ; he’s never told me I can’t meet up with my friends, but all my attention is on him when he's around. When he’s not with me, my friends are busy or already have plans of their own. It’s my fault; I know that. Well, from now on, I’ll make time for them. Especially Candi-Rose, we’ve been friends all our lives. She’s one of my best friends, and I miss her.

I also need to decide what to do about this baby. I should have made VJ use condoms, but I was on the pill! I know it was still stupid to think the pill would work, but it’s never failed me before. Not that I’ve ever willingly slept with a man who didn’t wear a condom.

Why now?

Why that man?!

Daisy pulls up outside my parent’s house, right behind my father’s car on the drive. She turns off the radio and turns in her seat to face me. I do the same and smile back at her.

“Try and relax while you’re here. Don’t think about VJ,”

“I’ll try. Why don’t you come in? Mom’s at the door waving like a lunatic.”

We look over at my mom waving at us, and we laugh.

“I won’t come in, babe, I need to get back. I promised Sophie we’d go shopping. However, your mom’s coming over so I can still say hi and won’t seem ignorant.” She laughs.

My parents love Daisy and Max; they treat them as if they were their own children. I’m not sure they’d do the same with VJ. I’d be a liar if I didn’t say that I’ve thought about introducing them. I also thought about how my dad would tell me that VJ was no good for me, that he didn’t want me seeing a man who obviously has mental health issues. My father is not prejudiced, but with a man like VJ and the problems he deals with, he wouldn’t want me to deal with it.

Isn’t that what fathers do?

They point out the floors of the man their daughter is with?

I don’t even know why I’m still thinking about this; it’s not like it will ever happen. My dad will one day get his wish about me meeting a nice man who loves me more than anything in this world, and I know I’ll love that man in return. We’ll get married and have children of our own.

But where does the baby inside of me come into this?

Am I going to keep the baby and keep the father a secret?

No, that won’t work, VJ isn’t stupid. Plus, he would never allow me to pass the baby off as someone else’s. He might not feel love, but there’s no way he wouldn’t want to be in his child’s life once it was here.

The truth is, I’m a little scared that VJ would try and force me to be with him because of the baby and his need to possess what he believes belongs to him.

Would I ever get away from him?

I can’t think about this right now; Mom has poked her head through the driver-side window with a big smile as she kisses Daisy’s cheek.

“Hello! It’s so good to see you both.”

“Good to see you, too, Margot. How’s Nolan?”

“He’s very well, Daisy. He’ll be home soon. How’s Max?”

I smile as they chat for a few moments about life and the reasons why Daisy can’t stay. My mom can talk, and if you don’t cut her off, she won’t stop.

“Mom, Daisy has to go.” I hug Daisy before my mom can talk about the new puppy my dad has bought for her. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Are you sure you don’t mind picking me up?”

“Of course not. Love you, Chlo.”

“Love you, too.” I climb out of the car and wave until Daisy is no longer in sight.

I follow my mother inside the house and close the door behind me. I sit at the dining table and smile when she hands me a coffee I can’t drink. At least, I don’t think you’re allowed to drink coffee when you’re pregnant. I’m unsure, so I won’t drink it just in case.

Mom takes a seat and then takes my hand in hers. My mom is sixty-nine years old, old enough to be my grandmother. She has some lines on her face that give away her age in the light. However, she’s slim and always dyes her hair the soft shade of blonde she once was. The same color my hair is. Her blue eyes are always warm when she looks at me. I have never once questioned whether or not my mom loves me. I only have to look into her eyes to know I am everything to this woman, and it’s the same with my father.

My father is also sixty-nine, and even though I know I could have twenty years left with them living and breathing, I fear every day that I could lose them at any time. They both still work when they should be enjoying retirement at their age.

Mom told me once that working keeps them young and active. Mom works with kids with special needs. It’s not something she’s always done, but she took it up around fifteen years ago. Dad works in an office in town and has done so for the past forty years. He works in the office of the local radio station. I’m not sure what he does there; I think he does a little bit of everything. He even talks over the airwaves now and again when asked to.

I’m glad they enjoy working, but I sometimes wish I could afford to have them retire and go on a trip around the world. They’ve always wanted to do that, but I know without a doubt that it will never happen for them now. It’s not that I’m agist, and I know my parents are very healthy. However, I know they’ll never get to travel before it’s too late. That hurts my heart so much.