Ark of Desire

Ethan POV The blue light filled everything. It was like nothing existed. No cold metal walls, no humming noise, no hard floor beneath me. All I could hear was her voice. It was soft and curious. It sounded a shaky, just a little. This made my heart beat fast. "Tell me what you want " she whispered. It felt like her breath was on my ear even though we were connected through a computer system by a neural link. My hands felt weightless like they were not really mine. I used them to touch her waist. The system made it feel her warm skin the way her breathing changed when I pulled her close. I did not know her name. I did not care. That was the point. There would be no consequences no tomorrow. "Touch me " I said. My voice came out gruffer than planned was rougher than I meant it to be. "touch me like you mean it." She laughed a little. Then her fingers touched my chest. They moved down my body, slow and sure. I felt heat inside me. Back bent, just so I could sense it deeper. For a moment I forgot that I was in this metal box floating in the ocean. Then the connection ended. The blue light went away. Reality came back. I felt the vibration of the Ark the cold metal beneath me and the chill of the air. My heart was still beating fast. I lay there in the dark staring up at the ceiling trying to slow down my breathing. I replayed the moment in my head, a thought about how this all began. It began with a tap on a secret app hidden on my computer. I had been feeling weak. I just wanted to feel something. I did not care what it was long as it was something. I forced my body out of bed. 05:47. That was the hour my eyes opened every day. Sunlight crept in, soft at first, growing stronger across the walls. Still lying down, I noticed how it warmed one arm before moving away. Then came the moment I pushed off the sheets and stood. Cold reached my toes the instant they touched wood. A small shake ran through me as I took that first step. Wearing my gray suit, the one with tagged with my name and job on it. COLE, E. The suit is thin. It is tough. It has patches on it from times when I got close to edges in the ships tunnels. Zip pulled upward slow, teeth meeting without sound. Fingers dragged across damp hair, untouched since that quick rinse under water hours ago. Mirror shows what sleep didn’t fix. Saw a face that looked older than I am. It looked tired and hungry for something. I had a protein bar and a drink for breakfast. I ate while I read the report on my computer. The ships hull is 92% intact. The air system is working at 88%. There is a big storm coming. It is far away, we should be fine. Fifteen minutes after I left my room. Joined the other people walking to the central lifts. We all look like family, exhausted and quiet. I nodded to some people I know like Reyes and Priya. Nobody talks much before we have our coffee. I went to the maintenance room on level 42. The door. I stepped inside. The room is big. Has a low ceiling. There are computers and tools around.. Then I saw her. Dr. Elena Voss. She was standing at a table with a 3D picture of the ship on it. She is 35 years old with hair and brown skin. She was wearing the gray suit as everyone else but it looked different on her. She did not look up when I came in. She never does at first. " Morning Cole " she said. Her voice is low and even. "You are early." I told her I could not sleep. I said I heard that the air system was not working right. We worked together for a while without talking much. We looked at the ships plans. Checked for problems. Sometimes our hands. It felt like a shock. I tried to breathe and keep my eyes on the computer. After a while she stood up. Stretched. Her suit got tight across her chest. I looked away too fast. "You okay?" she asked me. I said I was fine. It was a lie. We kept working. Sometimes our hands. It felt like a spark. I tried to ignore it. I could not. At one point I asked her if she ever thought that we were just delaying what was to come. She smiled a little. Said, "Every day.. Wondering does not fix things." We worked some more. Then we went to the tunnels to fix some problems. We crawled through spaces and used tools to seal cracks. Sound bounced around when the words came out of our mouths. Later on, sweat covered our skin, exhaustion heavy in the limbs. The thick suits came off, left behind the light layers beneath. Tousled hair framed her face, loose bits clinging to damp skin along her spine. A hand moved across her brow, brushing away moisture. Our eyes met - she noticed right then, without words. "Something on your mind Cole?" she asked. I said that she made this place feel like it was survivable. She looked at me for a moment. Then she said, "Be careful. That almost sounded kind." I’m always kind, it shouldn’t be a surprise I say kind things I said. She looked away. I left the room before things get awkward. Back in my room. I sat on my bed. I took out a journal from under my mattress. I wrote in it with a pen. Day 1,836. Elena smiled today. Not the fake smile,. The real one. I hate how much it matters to me. I hate that she is engaged to someone. I hate that I am writing this of sleeping. I closed the journal and underneath my mattress it goes again. The lights went out, I lay in the dark my heart beating fast. I thought every time Elena and I touched every time she looked at me. Then I reached for my computer. I opened the app again. The screen was black with words. There was one button. Anonymous Intimacy Mode. My thumb hovered over the button. I thought about Elenas hand on my leg her voice, in the tunnel the way she looked at me. I pressed the button. My heart was beating fast. I chose the mode. The screen went blue. A calm voice spoke in my ear. "Connection establishing. No identities. No recordings. No consequences." A loading bar appeared on the screen. Then I heard a voice it was real this time. The voice was soft and curious. It was a female voice. “Hello?" My mouth became very dry. I gave an answer. “Hi.”