Disconnected.

It was not a first time for me to stay away with these people. People who knows that not anyone can fit them, not anyone can be on the same level as them, and worse, they continue to use this people at their own benefit. I know that this is such a very introvert thing to do, but I enjoy being alone. I’d rather stay away with these people who continue to throw words of encouragement to others but secretly stabbing their backs. I don’t like that kind of “play”, so I’d rather juts stay away. “Miss Kim, what do you think is the most important function of the skin?” I was caught off moment when my professor threw me that question. “Ma'am. It is to provide protection.” I answered confidently. Biology is very easy for me, it is, because, favorite subject. “How do you take care of your skin?” The professor asked again. “Does she really know?” One of the girls at the back commented and they all laughed, except the professor of course. The professor quickly glanced at them. “Miss Thomas, do you think that your statement is of good cause? Are you trying to bully Miss Kim?” The group laughed again. Yeah, I was used to getting bullied every day. Every single of my life, these people would bully me because of my skin. I must admit that I’m not the prettiest in the room, in fact, I’m the ugliest duckling. My skin is white but my face is full of pimples. I’m also on a bit of the heavier side but that’s okay. I learned how to deal with them. Their words don’t affect me anymore. “I am not, Mrs. Gibbins. I’m just confirming if she really does know how to take care of her skin, because obviously, your body shows what kind of routine that you do to take care of your skin, right?” Lisa commented, also known as Miss Thomas. “Then if you don’t have anything nice to say then I would suggest to just close your mouth, when I’m not asking you something, especially if you’re just trying to belittle someone. That’s unacceptable in my class, Lisa.” Mrs. Gibbins said, defending me. Mrs. Gibbins, one of the professors who would always defend me from them, even though I told them that I can defend myself, they know that deep inside, I can’t. I’m just trying to be strong. Lisa finally decided to shut her pretty mouth, she’s actually prettier that way. The bell finally rang, signaling for the end of the Biology subject. I stood up, started to gather my things and hastily threw them in my bag while Mrs. Gibbins are telling everyone to go home safely. This is our last subject and all of us can go home, actually, except me, because I still have a part time job as a barista in a coffee shop owned by my best friend, Irene. I have to admit that our family is in a bit of a well-off; my father is a litigator while my mom is a surgeon. I have two older brothers, namely Aaron; the eldest and he’s currently a doctor and finally Angelo; who is currently studying to become a neurosurgeon. So, you finally guess it, my mom is actually grooming me to become a doctor as well. For me, it was okay, I wanted to become an anesthesiologist. When I exited the room, I wasn’t surprise to see Lisa, waiting for me at my locker. She’s with her two “friends” namely, Jenny and Rose. “Friends” because I know that they say s**t behind each other’s backs anyway. I sighed as I walked towards the locker. I just need to put these heavy books in my locker and I hope that a riot will not be a result of this. When I opened my locker, Lisa finally decided to push me on my locker. The initial reaction should be surprised but for me, meh, it’s just typical. Okay, bullying time again, I sighed. Saying it in my brain. “Do you your ugly stunt can stop us from doing this to you?” Lisa whispered in my ear while still using her body force to push me on my locker. There are people walking by, but in this school, no one should mind anyone’s business. “I don’t give a shit.” I said and she finally spanked my head. It did hurt but I just don’t care. The three of them began harassing me again. I just didn’t fight back, because for me, these girls are just a bunch of losers whose goal is to bully someone to feel better about themselves. Normally, when someone is getting bullied, hurt or being harassed physically, people would usually rush in and try to stop the situation, but in my situation, no one will help me. I’m just really alone and I’m used to this. When they are done doing their stunts, they stopped and smirked at me, “So I guess that you would learn your lesson from now on, huh?” Lisa said, pushing her hair back in her ear. The two other girls are also laughing. “What kind of lesson is that, Lisa? Being a b***h?” I taunted them. Lisa was about to start again but someone called her name. “Lisa, what are you doing?” A guy with black hair, standing at about 6 foot tall, asked her. And oh, he’s good-looking. “Nothing, Justin. Alexandra and I are just playing along, right, Alexandra?” She said. Her eyes are signaling me to just play along with her or else she’ll kill me. “Yes.” I sighed and finally gained the strength to pick up my books that were on the floor. Justin looked at me, and he seems like he knows that I was lying. I’m getting conscious as he continues to stare at me. “Okay, if you say so, Elisabeth.” Justin said. Lisa smiled and marched towards Justin, “Let’s go babe. We’re going the to the cinemas, right?” Justin just nodded, “I think you should check on Alexandra first, she got scrapes on her knee and a bloody lip. I think you might have put a little bit of force on your “play along”, am I right?” Lisa’s smiled faded, but she eventually smiled again. “Nah, she’s fine. She can take care of herself.” I’m getting bored at the moment, and the only thing that I wanted to do right now is to go at my work and make myself a huge glass of Americano. Lisa, and the rest of her slaves finally decided to leave the area, and I’m left alone. Which is okay for me. “You’ll be okay, Yerina Alexandra Kim.” As I looked myself at the mirror inside my locker, “You’ll shine when the time is right.” I encourage myself before closing my locker and leaving the school.     “What the hell happened to your face, Yerina?” Irene asked as she saw me coming to her shop. She opened the door for me and she rushed inside the lockers to get the first aid kit. “Who the hell did that to you?” Theo asked. He is also one of the baristas here and also, Irene’s boyfriend. “Nah, it’s just someone unimportant.” I answered. Irene came back with an ice pack and also the first aid kit. “That unimportant someone you are saying is someone who needs to get their asses kicked, so tell me, who the f**k did this to you. Yerina?” Irene is fuming. I can feel it because the way she pressed the cotton on my face is kinda stinging me. “Okay. Her name is Elisabeth Thomas.” I told them her full name, silently hoping that they don't know her because knowing Irene, she won’t let this slip away. “What the actual f**k? That b***h is still studying at the university?” She asked me and I nodded. “Lisa? Elisabeth Thomas?” Theo asked, “I thought she graduated?!” “Well, you thought, but I think that b***h decided to stay because she doesn’t want any one coming near her boy toy named Justin.” Oh, they know Justin as well. “That toy boy you’re talking about is my friend and yes, I don’t know what had gotten to Justin and he decided to be with that lunatic.” I was just staring back and forth with them, because I don’t know what they are talking about. “Justin and I are friends.” Theo started, “But we’re not able to see each other that often because he’s busy with his studies and also with his psychotic girlfriend.” “I know Lisa, because she used to be my classmate.” Irene started talking, “I thought she was okay when the classes started because she’s smiling at everyone, not until that b***h unleashed the devil beneath her personality and decided to make everyone miserable.” So, she was okay at first but now she’s just a devil human being? Okay, I’m not really surprised because when I first saw Lisa, I thought that she’s okay, but then, she started to do those horrible things to me. “That everyone, including me.” I said, “When I transferred to that university, a day won’t pass by without her bullying me. It was horrible at first but I got used to it. At first, it was just verbally but now, physically. Actually, if it wasn’t for Justin then I would have gained more bruises now.” Irene and Theo started to get worried about me and I can see it on their faces. “Oh come on, guys. I’m really okay.” No I’m not. “No, you’re not. No one would be okay if someone is bullying them.” Theo stated, “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to Justin and tell him to talk to Lisa about her attitude.” “No, please. Really, I’m okay.” I assured them, “I guess Justin would have already talked to her about it because he saw me a while ago.” “I don’t care. Theo, please tell Justin to tell Lisa to leave Yerina alone or else I’ll stump her tiny ass.” Irene warned, “And you, Yerina, learn how to fight back. Don’t think of it as “saving your energy” because these motherfucking bullies won’t stop until you learn how to fight back.” I tried to speak and tell them that I’m really okay but Irene’s expression is really scaring me. It’s like she’s telling me to say it to her face that I will fight back no matter what happens. I sighed in defeat. “Okay, I’ll fight back if she bullies me again.” “That’s good to hear, Yerina.” Irene smiled, “Okay, let’s get back to work.” As I was busy preparing the orders of the customers, Theo is also making the shakes for the other customers. We’re in a bit if understaffed situation because Wendy can’t some to work, due to her fever, so Irene asked Joy if she could fill in Wendy’s supposed-to-be duty. “Are you sure that Joy can come to work?” I asked Irene as she put down her phone. “Yes, I think she is okay now, and I think if it would be better for her to come out of her room and be busy with something else, than crying herself to sleep because of Jaydus.” Jaydus, Joy’s ex-boyfriend. “Jaydus is a jerk. He’s also a friend but dang, what he did to Joy is just really unacceptable.” Theo said as he poured the drinks. “Yerina, can you bring this to table number 5?” “Hey! Only I, can get to call her Yerina.” Irene objected. Theo just laughed at her crazy girlfriend and gave me the orders. Yerina, Irene is the only one who can call me that because she thinks that Yerina kinda sounds like her name and it is a unique name. She doesn’t want to call me Alexandra, which I think is okay, because being unique is also one of the things that best describes me the most. I brought the orders to the table and the customers gave me a tip. I smiled at them and left. I put the tip at our tip jar. “Another tip at the jar!” Someone said and saw, Joy, being the beautiful that she is, smiled at us. But even though she is smiling, I can see that she’s very much broken. Her eyes are a bit swollen but she’s good at doing make up, so it kinda concealed it off a little. “You’re back!” I hugged her, “Are you okay now?” “Of course!” She smiled, her dimples showing, “So what am I going to do now?” “Hey, Joy!” Irene said and hugged her too, “Are you sure that you’re in the right state of mind now to work?” Joy nodded, “Yes. I’ll be okay. I think this would be better than pitying myself because of Jaydus and also, this is much better because I’ll be earning, right?” Joy smiled at Irene and wiggled her eyebrows. “Of course, Joy. So, get your ass on the counter and start getting their orders. We have a long queue of people right now.” Irene said. The usual duty was tiring, but it was fun, it made me more relaxed because when I get home, I’ll be facing my books again and study. When Theo closed the store, we parted our ways. They offered me a ride but I just decided to walk because it’s really near from our house. “Are you sure that you can walk alone?” Irene asked, worried. “Yes.” I smiled at them, “I’ll be getting my car tomorrow at the repair shop.” Dang it, I still need to pay for my beloved Velvet, my car. “Okay then, message us when you get home, okay?” Joy said, sitting at the back of Theo’s car. “I will. Theo, please bring these beautiful ladies home safely, okay?” I told him, knowing that he has a history of driving in quick phase. “Don’t worry, Yerina.” Theo winked at me and I raised my middle finger to him. “Hey! I only get to call her that!” Irene said as Theo closed the windows. I can still hear Irene whining about Theo calling me Yerina. I laughed at them, “Crazy bastards.” And decided to walk home.   The house was quiet when I got home. Sure, it was full of lights and the maids are also there but it seems that my family isn’t here. I saw the maid preparing my meal, “Good evening Miss Alexandra.” “Good evening, ma’am.” I said, sitting down at the dining area, “Where is mom and dad?” The maid poured me a drink, I think it was orange juice, “They had an emergency meeting at Korea miss. Mrs. Kim told me that she tried to call you but your number cannot be reached.” Oh, Irene’s coffee shop is really a dead spot for signal and s**t. “Okay, how about Aaron and Angelo?” “Sir Aaron is still on his duty and he called a while ago, he said that he can’t come home because he still had surgeries to do, while Angelo said that he’s going to spend the night at his dorm so he can study with his dormmates.” Okay, so I’m really alone. I should have stayed at Irene’s place. I sighed and decided to eat, “Did you.. you know, had your dinner?” I asked the maid. She shook her head. “Okay then, you should get your plates and come eat with me. I’m not used to eating alone in this house.” I smiled at her. She walked her way to the kitchen, grabbed the utensils and ate with me. I also asked the other maids to eat with me, which they accepted. After eating, I went upstairs. I offered to wash the dishes but the maids strongly declined as they said that it is part of their job to clean. I just shrugged and went here in my room. I plopped down my hug ass bed and inhaled deeply. It was really tiring and a lot happened in this day. I don’t know if the maids noticed the cut on my lip but I don’t care now. I’m sure that the concealer can cover this up tomorrow. I looked at the mirror and dang, I look miserable and ugly. Like really ugly. I don’t know why I don’t want to go to a skin care center and have my pimple treated. I just think that it is just a waste of money. These pimples will eventually go away, right? It’s just my hormones are not in the right level now. My clothing style isn’t as pretty as my other friends. Especially Joy who looked like a Victoria Secret Angel whenever she comes. It’s not really necessary for me to buy clothes because I choose clothes that can make me feel comfortable. I’m okay with shirt and jeans. At the university, they thought I’m an introvert, but the truth is, I’m not. I just don’t feel like meddling with people at the school that’s why I just want to separate myself to them. My friends; Irene, Joy, Wendy and Sam are the living proof that I’m no introvert when it comes to them. I’m also wanting to be in a relationship. Yes, I’m a fake introvert, sure I hate meddling with other people besides my friends, but I also wanted to experience the feeling of falling in love. Irene having Theo, Sam have Jamin, Wendy have August, Joy had Jaydus and I.. I don’t have anyone. “I want to fall in love.” I said to myself. “But I don’t wanna get hurt either.” I imagined the way Joy cried when she found out that Jaydus was cheating. Her world literally crashed on her. She even passed out that we even rushed her in the nearest hospital. Sure, love can make you happy but at the same time, it can make you worse. I don’t want that. But how can I experience it if I’m not going to take the risk? How can someone love me, knowing that I literally look like s**t? But then the idea of how Wendy and August met popped in my mind, they met thru an online application and started there as strangers. “Oh come on, Alexandra! Are you really that desperate?” I told myself, but then, my hand automatically typed this message on my phone: Wendy, what was the name of the application that you used? From that moment, I knew that I desperately want to meet someone as I am tired of being f*****g alone. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to feel the euphoria of being with or talking with someone, even in a short span of time. But then, my phone beeped. Wendy replied, I sent you the link. Enjoy! ;) Good heavens, wish me luck.