Our Failed Escapes

The vacation was over. The fantasy, the dream, all of it is over. I thought I could escape it, but I knew deep down, reality was always there at the end of all of this. But I wished it wasn’t, I wished escaping my reality was easy. That I could just walk away and not look back. But it’s difficult to not look back on your past when it personally creeps back into your life. My vacation had a time limit, I always knew it had one since I was the one who suggested it but I thought 1 one month would last like forever. I thought it was enough for a taste of freedom but I crave for more. But I cannot look away from my reality. It will forever follow me like a shadow, so what’s the point of running away from it? My eyes wondered across the clean, organized and well-done front garden of the palace. The colors were color coded and matched well by my own mother. She likes being organized and clean. She’s the one who made the palace looking less dead-ish and I’m glad she did make it as colorful and bright as she wanted or else my childhood would’ve been filled with the shades of gray and empty hallways. I adjusted my mask to fit it better on my face and to hide it well. I held tight on my bags and luggage. A couple of maids run towards me, circling me and offered to take my bags. I nodded politely at them and gave them my bags. I stretched my back and tried to relax my shoulders since it’s had so much tension since I arrived from Zethan. I walk towards the palace doors but mother came running towards me. Her arms wide open and her face frowning. I smiled under my mask and opened my arms as well. She gave me a big and tight hug. Her fragrance immediately filled my nostrils as I burry my face to her hair. I always loved the scent of my mother’s hair, it felt comforting. I hugged her tight. Her embrace, I missed it. I missed her. “I was so worried, I can’t believe you left even when we said no!” she scolded me while we were still hugging. She was whining, my mother, she has always thought what was best for me. I felt a massive pang of guilt when I left but I wanted to think about myself for once. I chuckled, “I had to,” I said making mother let go of our hug. She held tight on my right hand and caressed my hair with her other hand. I gave her a soft smile. In return, she beamed, “I know, I’m glad you’re okay,” “Aunt Madeline took great care of me, I wish I knew her sooner,” I exclaimed. My mom laughed at that. Aunt Madeline and my mother are siblings. They were born in a wealthy family. When my mother got married with my father, the prince and now king. Aunt Mad was pressured to marry a royal. But she was very hesitant on that. She left everything behind to live her own life. She left money and fame to have peace and happiness. Oh, how I wish I could be her. Good thing is, I tried to be like her. I left too. But only for a month. “Where’s father?” I asked. Before mom could answer my question. My father came running to me and gave me a big hug. I gave him light taps on the back. His heavy and strong body almost choked me to death if mother didn’t separate us from each other. Father looked at me seriously, “You’ve had your 1 month, no more escaping,” he advised. I gave him a tight smile. I felt uneasy when he mentioned the fantasy of mine was over. Because I wished it would’ve lasted a little longer. “Do I have a choice?” I joked and shrugged. My father’s serious face softened into an expression full or worry and pity. I didn’t like my father pitying me. or anyone for the matter. I don’t want to feel like all I am is a lost cause. Especially when it’s already rubbed on my face now that I will never have the freedom I once got a taste of. It felt nice to be around my parents again. Even if I have been with them all my life. When I first left, I got homesick but I couldn’t turn back. I needed to live the moment and enjoy it. luckily, I managed to pick myself up and did what I wanted. The comforting atmosphere around us disappeared when an old man talked, “good you’re here, get ready, your future awaits,” I looked at the main door to see an old man in a formal suit gazing at me. his voice was ever so soothing yet people cowered just hearing it. I didn’t though, my grandfather favored me a lot. Probably because I’m the first princess. “Dad, she just got here!” My father scolded the old man. My grandfather responded with a raised eyebrow. I laughed walking towards him and giving him a side hug, he smiled in my embrace. The previous king, my grandfather, loved me dearly. He loves us all. But he worries too much and ponder people with his worries, pressuring them. I was intimidated by him, sometimes mad, I just couldn’t stand how easy it was for him to just let me go to a man I barely knew! I let go of his warm embrace and stared at him. I wanted him to see I didn’t want this. I never did. Not now, not ever. He smiled softly. “I know you don’t want this, but he’s a good man and I know he will treat you right,” he started. Who cares if he’s a good man? Doesn’t mean I wanted to marry this stranger. I awkwardly put my lips into a straight line and shrugged. He nodded and smiled. My parents then offered me to go inside to eat and have some drinks. But I refused, I was tired on my flight and all I wanted to do is to be back in the comfort of my own room. My mother felt hurt when I refused, it’s probably because she missed me so much and I refused to spend time with them. But I assured her I was just tired. But the truth was I couldn’t stand talking about this unknown guy who is my fiancée. Crazy. A total stranger, my fiancée. How cliché can this get? I bid my goodbyes and went to my room, passing by the extravagant long hallways, I saw my brother’s room. Judging by the look the of the half-opened door that only got light because of that, he wasn’t here. Does he not love his baby sister? He’s not even here on my arrival. But I didn’t care, at least his annoying ass isn’t here or I’ll go crazy. This whole family was crazy. People wouldn’t know because of the secrecy the Sole family has. Always private, always hidden. I was thankful we were like that, but it gets lonely sometimes. When you’re a hidden princess that the world has never seen, it gets lonely. You see people at your age having fun and living the life of your dreams and you’re just there… existing. And you can’t do anything about it because somethings are born that way. Somethings are meant to be that way. But how I wished I could do wild crazy things and be free. Without worries, without the fear of the shadow of your past, without looking back. But I can’t afford doing that. Not when the people I love will be at risk. As I got into my room, I threw my shoes on the floor, took of my bra, and dived into my bed. My bed covers never changed. The maids usually changed it every 2 weeks. I’m guessing my mom missed me too much she asked the maids to not change them. My room was exactly the same way I left it a month ago. No drastic changes, my room was still messy and had nick knacks everywhere, books were scattered, paper and pencils. My computer was still here, other gadgets I owned were in the same place they were. The walls were painted, flower pots and growing veins all over the balcony, the room was filled with proof of every single thing I did for the last 20 years. It was quite comforting, also kind of sad. How I wish I could’ve done more. I sighed, covering myself with my blanket and covered my face with a pillow. I wondered down to the deep end of the oblivion. Almost falling asleep. “Miss Royal,” I groaned hearing that. What now? “Kendra, please not now, I need some sleep,” “But your grandfather seeks for your acquaintance,” I turned my back away from her, “Tell him I’ll be there when I can,” Her voice cracked, “But he said it was urgent,” I sighed, taking the pillow of my head and faced Kendra, a palace maid, “I’ll be there in a sec,” I smiled widely. She nodded and left my room. What more does my grandfather want from me? can a girl get a decent time with herself nowadays? I got up, sulking because of my grandfather’s disturbance on my alone time. I walked up to his study and saw him sitting there leaning down onto his, jotting down whatever he is jotting. I knocked on the half-opened door. The creased on his forehead faded and replaced a bright look on his face upon seeing me. He smiled, “Oh, good, you’re here,” I smiled back walking forward and sat on the couch that was in front of his desk, “What is it again, grandpa?” His laugh echoed in the room, but I was tired and annoyed so my face stayed still and serious, “Now, now,” He was being awfully considerate. He wasn’t the nicest one when I left, he was actually the one that made me determined to escape. He opened the drawer of his table and took out a big square box. My eyes fixated on the box and wondered what was inside. I look up to him, “What’s that?” He smirked and opened the box. It was a bracelet. It was gold with sapphire gems on each side. It looked vintage, not the ones that are recently made. It was beautiful. Grandfather told me to give him my hand, I settled my wrist on his desk and he put it on me. The cold jewelry touched my pale skin, I smiled as he finished putting it on me. It looked pretty on me. Grandfather noticed how much I was admiring it and spoke, “That was your grandmother’s, she would’ve wanted you to have that the day you’ll be betrothed,” he beamed. “I don’t think this is ideally how she imagined me to get married,” I softly chuckled, still looking down on the bracelet. “I’m sorry,” I looked at him, “What are you sorry about?” I snorted, “Is this another one of your tricks to make me agree on this marriage?” “No, it’s not,” I forced a smile, “Don’t worry, I’ll do as you please,” I gritted my teeth and walked out of the room. At least, grandmother is with me.