The Secret Circle

Standing outside of Filmore High, I thought, this was the definition of s**t. To think that I still had a nerve to show up here. At least it was a beautiful day outside. The sun was out. No clouds whatsoever. And on top of that, there was a light breeze that blew through, ruffling my hair a little out of place. I wouldn't have cared about it ruffling my hair up had I not been here. Here, I had to perceive another persona. Which was cool with me in some ways. It protected me. That was all I needed for three more months. Then the protection wouldn't be needed. I could gladly be myself. I didn't have to uphold the status quo that was here in this piece of crap. But that was in the near future. Now, I had to be Kacy.  I fluffed my red, curled hair in the front of the school where the glass reflected me the best at. I always walked in the piece of s**t at 9:30 a.m on the dot. I had to look my best. Any blemish on my face made it to the school's blog and I lost followers instead of gaining them. That was not in my best interest. I checked my black watch. One minute. I almost did a slight groan. Realizing that it was crucial for me to get through first, second, third, lunch, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth all without any f**k ups or slip ups ever put an unnecessary weight of stress on my shoulders. But that was okay. At the end, my favorite place would come after all of it. I quickly fixed my outfit. I didn't want to look like a total slut today because I just wasn't feeling it so I put on a red tank top that was tucked into some black jeans and a little throw over it. I didn't need to give Mr. Perry anymore to look at than he already deigned to do. Thirty seconds tough girl. Some people walked past me and stared. My mean face scared them away. Most of the people just rushed past me. I put my fake smile on my face and walked in, stopping the people behind me in their tracks, not a second late. The whole hall stopped talking and moving when I walked in. Were they this engulfed in me? Really?  My fake smile widened into a stale one, "What the f**k are you all looking at?" I asked sweetly. Just like that, the whole hall buzzed back to life, muttering and gossiping like they usually did. "Kacy!" A shrill voice trilled next to me. I didn't have to look at her to see who it was. "What is it Star?" I asked, picking up the pace of my walking so people wouldn't talk to me or to make it seem like I had somewhere to be. "So Josh," I sighed, "told me to ask you why you have been ignoring him." I swear he thinks that we date. He dms me everyday. Occasionally, he'll try to facetime me. I ignore it all to give him some type of sign that I didn't want him. He was a rich prick. The worst kind. One party and somehow we're a "power couple". "I'm not ignoring him. I don't want to talk to him. I thought he got the message." "Well he didn't. Josh wants to see you today at lunch." I scoffed, "In his dreams. I don't want him." She almost hit the white and blue brick wall after I made a sharp turn around a corner. I wish she had hit it so she could leave me alone about that stupid boy. "Do you know who he is, Kacy?" She asked. Who didn't? Josh Reyes. The star baseball player. His parents were worth a fortune. Had a fortune. "Yes." "Then why pass this opportunity up?! You two could be huge Kacy!" "Don't remind me about it Star." I hummed. "What? It's not going to be just here in this school, you know that right?" I turned another corner sharply. She barely made it without grazing the wall just a little. "It's going to break the internet! You'll be known world wide!" I yanked my red locker open and put my fake smile on, "I don't care about that. He's a jerk." Star stomped a little. I glanced at the little i***t next to me. She had a frown plastered on her face. "You never listen to my suggestion! That's exactly how Trina got Kirk." My face twisted up at the sound of his name. "Good for her. Why would I want that sick pervert?" She gasped, "What? Kirk was nice!" A memory flashed in my mind of how he almost put his hands on me for not showing him my titties. That s**t was over after that. If Trina wanted that abusive fucker, she could f*****g have him. "Oh, yeah. Sure he was." Star rolled her green eyes, "Look, just consider it." Josh only danced with me once. He only got to feel up on me once. Why did he feel the need to want more than that? I knew what he did to girls. He ruined reputations of even the shyest, most innocent girls in this school. I would never forget the time that I found Mirian in the bathroom bawling over a pregnancy test that read positive. Everyone knew she was virgin. But she was one of those fine ones. The ones who had ass and breast. She made boys drool. Not like I did, but still. Mirian always stayed to herself though. She never wore tight clothing-and on top of that-she wore glasses. Those big, round, metal framed ones. When she tried to tell him that the baby was for him, he denied it and destroyed her life even after she said that it was okay he didn't claim it. He slut shamed her on the internet. He told lies about how she slept with all of his friends. Mirian ended up getting an abortion because the bullshit got to the point where people were saying that they were going to hang the baby for her "lies". And then his parents made her move out of the state because it was so "scandalous" and no son of theirs didn't have to tolerate lies from a lowly w***e. You wouldn't think they would say that about a young lady. You wouldn't think that they would make her whole family up and leave because of his lies. Just because he was her type and they fooled around once. If Mirian was his type, I knew for a fact that I was what he wanted now. But he wasn't about to f**k my life up because he was an asshole. "No, Star. I'm not considering it." She winced, "Well...you have to." "No. I don't." I gripped my math books. "Okay, don't be mad, but I told him that you would come to lunch with him." Keep the smile. Your anger does not need to be loose now. I closed my eyes and willed myself to listen to my inner thoughts. "And why, might I ask, would you do that Star?" She wringed her fingers a little. "I can't let you pass up this opportunity. Josh is a good guy. He isn't like the other rich dudes, I promise. He's not spoiled, he even eats from McDonald's! He's honest. He's a hard worker. He.." I was barely focusing on the words coming out of her mouth. I was watching how fast her mouth was moving. What was she? A clutterer? "He plays baseball for crying out loud! You play softball! You-" "Star." Her moving mouth stopped for a second and her wide green eyes were pleading for me to say yes. If she wasn't Sterling's little sister-I f*****g swear I would ditch this......damn. I didn't even have a name for the b***h. "If I go to lunch with him, will you please shut the f**k up?" Her head moved vigorously in a nodding motion. I sighed. "Fine. I'll go." Star clapped a little, "You won't regret it, I promise." I knew she wanted something else. She was still standing by me and not gossiping to her friends about our relationship. I closed my locker gracefully, "Well then...is there anything else you need me to do. You're still standing here." Star rocked a little on both of her feet, looking around the near empty hall. Most of the seniors didn't arrive until after the first half of first period. We didn't have to come to school anymore, really. We only had three months left as it was. Everyone was probably prepping for prom and the senior trip for the summer. But me? Home was not home.  "Actually....I need you to cover for me tomorrow in Mr. Perry's class. I have a date of some sort during his period." I raised an eyebrow. I could give a damn who she f****d. But I had to give damn anyways because every boy she f****d always tried to get closer to me. Some even cornered me for my number. A goddamn number. "Oh, you slut. Who?" I asked. Her cheeks turned red, "Before you say you know him, you don't. His name is Barry." Lucky me. I knew a Barry. I hope she didn't mean the one that dms me flowers and hearts and couple posts. I hoped it wasn't that Barry. "Oh..." I widened my smile, "sure. I don't know one." She giggled, "Will you cover?" "As long as you don't set me up with anymore lunches with Josh. Do you hear me?"  "Yeah. Thanks, you're the best." Before she left, I gripped her arm gently. "I'm only giving you twenty minutes. Mr. Perry is starting to get really...touchy feely with me." Star pouted. I didn't understand why they would put a male over the girls part of physical education. It made no sense to me. He was obviously a perverted pedophile. I couldn't count how many times he "accidentally" walked in the girls' locker room. He made me uncomfortable and no matter how many complaints the girls filed against him-he seemed to stay. My guess was because he was some type of veteran, which made him f****d up in the head or some s**t like that. But regardless....he was damn creepy. "No fun, but fine." She flounced off after seeing her airhead friends. I had no doubt that she was going to tell them about who I would be sitting with at lunch today. They would probably get it to Sofie, the editor of Filly Cats, our school's blog. I only sat with a select few of people at lunch. That would be Taylor, she usually handled any bad talk about me over the media, Dylan, he was just there because he was funny, and Red, she was just so....I couldn't explain it in words. The big fact is that she was always there. Through thick or thin. She was the only one who I could possibly be myself around if I tried. But I wouldn't. I couldn't. That would be catastrophic for me. Lord have whatever mercy you have on me. I'm going to need it majorly. ____________ Lunch came faster than I had wanted. My table was bare. By that, I meant that it was only Star and Josh sitting at the table. I had no choice but to sit down with my subways sandwich and sprite.  "Where's Dylan, Taylor, and Red?" I asked skeptically. Star shrugged, "They heard about who you were sitting with and wanted to give you some space." Josh smiled at me. "Care to explain why you've been avoiding me?" He asked. I noticed that he had a subway sandwich. Wow, he was really going all out about this. "Well, unlike you, I have a job. Everybody doesn't just get a five thousand dollar check every week. I've been too busy to answer anyone." I said. Star kicked my ankle lightly. I glanced at her. Her smile had dimmed down to a thin line of luscious, red lips. "Hey, I don't really you know, get a five thousand dollar check every month." I raised an eyebrow as I went over his Gucci jacket. Lie one. "I'm pretty normal." I rolled my eyes. Lie two. "Right." I caught his blue eyes again. This time I held them with challenge. I had to. Just to let him know. "So, where do you work Kacy? I could visit you during your breaks. We could get to know each other more....personally."  I almost shivered at the way he said my name. He said it too smoothly. "I....you wouldn't be interested in knowing. Your type doesn't like going there and when they do...they're a pain in the ass." I said cheerfully. Josh leaned forwards and cut his smile down to a smirk. He had yet to even glance at his subway sandwich. "You'd be surprised. I can keep a secret," he licked his lips. What was I to him? Some type of f*****g prey? He wasn't getting into a relationship with me. Not even in his dreams, "if that's what you're worried about." I smiled, "Not what I'm worried about." "Well then what is it? Just tell me where you work." "Fine. I'm an undercover stripper." Star kicked me again. That one actually hurt. I now resented those heels she had on. They were the f*****g devil. "I would believe you." He chuckled, letting his eyes roam over me slickly. I already knew for a fact that he went past the table to get to my other half. I shifted my legs that were crossed. Damn...why were his eyes so panty dropping?  "If you weren't underaged. You're seventeen. Your birthday isn't until June sixteenth. Where do you really work?" I almost dropped my smile to ask him how the hell had he known my birthday. I don't talk to him ever. He doesn't even know my middle name. "How much did that jogging suit cost you?" I asked. "Just tell me where you work Kacy." I could tell he was getting impatient.  I poked my lip out, "Aww, is rich boy getting mad? You do know I don't have to tell you anything about me. Like my birthday. I never told you that was it. Who told you?" It made it hard for me to be angry at him. He was so damn fine. You couldn't take that asset away from him. "I asked Star." Star piped up quickly, "Kacy, it was only to k****e something between you two." I giggled, "k****e something? Nothing is ever going to be kindled between us." "And why is that?" He asked sharply. "Because I don't have to date you. Especially if I don't want you." "Please, you want me. You just don't know it yet." As if. Was he a dummy? Why was he so...adamant about me? What did I have that he'd gain? He was already popular. He was rich. He had good looks. What would he gain? I didn't have s**t to offer to him. Would I just be arm candy? Would we take over the media or something? But that was the LAST thing I needed. To have random people wanting to know everything about my everything. Down to my socks. Thinking about his motives mad me angrier. More agitated. I couldn't see why he would want to be with me. It couldn't be just s*x. He wouldn't want to sit at lunch and talk with me. It just wasn't making sense to me. "Okay, we're done here." I got up before I blew a gasket and cussed him out in front of this whole cafeteria. "You might fool those other airheads into being your "girlfriend", but not me. I'm not dumb. All you do is promise them money and exploit their bodies." "Kacy!" Star gasped. Josh stood, "Star, shut up. And you, Kacy, are not so goddamn high and holy your damn self. I don't know why you think that you can be in the position you are in now and act like you're better than everyone." "Please," I mocked his voice from earlier, but with my lip curled a little, "I am better than everyone." I put my fake smile on. "Thank you, but-I think we're done here. The k****e kind of got....cold. Don't you think?" Josh let out an aggravated breath. "Oh, and are you going to start on that? I know a few homeless people who would love something to eat." I asked before I left. His jaw clenched, "Next time, be yourself maybe? Anybody in here can tell you that you don't eat Subway." I picked his sandwich up and walked out happily.  God that was awfully painful. Who the hell thought that was a good idea? Josh and I. Star really needs to work on her damn "power picks".  Well at least I got through half of the day. I was going to be home in a few. Home. Yes.