MAFIA WIFE : IF LIFE WAS FEAR ( RAISING A MAFIA HEIR )

OLIVIA ‘ S POINT OF VIEW Motherhood is one of the most beautiful experiences one can enjoy in a lifetime , from the moment a woman knows she has conceived to the moment she finally gets to hold her sweet little baby in her arms . It is a gift no money on earth can buy , a priceless experience that most women want and always end with no regrets . However , not all women who want to be mothers get to enjoy motherhood and some are not even blessed with the gift of motherhood . When I got married to my husband Benjamin , the idea of being a mother instantly got planted in my mind . I would always picture a happy family which would consist of me , my husband , and our children . I dreamt of having mini me and junior Benjamins playing around the house . I imagined being a great mother with my husband by my side , raising future leaders that would one day take our family name to greater heights . Just the very thought of bringing life on earth always put a smile on my face , it was an idea I was invested in wholeheartedly . Moreover , the most important detail about the happy family I dreamt about was building a happy family with a man I adored with all my heart . However , it took a single day to shatter all my dreams of building a happy family when I found out that the love of my life was living a double life . On one hand , he was a loving and humble person while on the other hand he was despicable , arrogant , and self-centered person who made people ' s lives a living hell . He was a despicable person who married me for the aid I could offer his criminal life . The most annoying thing he did was to involve me and my family business in his crimes . I recall seeing police officers at my doorstep telling me that I was being arrested for money laundering , a crime I took no part in . I would never forget the face of the police officer who told me that my husband Benjamin , committed suicide because they finally have all the evidence they need to put him away for life pertaining to all the crimes he did as a dangerous Mafia leader . Back then , I failed to comprehend everything I was being told and anger was the only thing that roared in my mind . Yes ! On that day , I was declared the biggest fool on earth who married the most dangerous man alive but yet had no idea about it for a decade . During my time of great agony , I met two people who claimed to be my knight and shined armor only to find out later that they were working with Benjamin . I trusted Charlotte and Lucas with my life . Being the fool I am , I even fell in love with Lucas reviving all my dreams of a happy family which in the end was shattered anyway . I once again came out the biggest fool when I discovered that they were related to Benjamin , who also turns out faked his own death to bail himself out of all his trouble and my era of being a mafia wife began . Experiencing how brutal my husband was to everyone , including myself . I decided right then that raising a child with Benjamin was not an ideal thing to do , but he always thought otherwise . I remember my first pregnancy , how he was the happiest person on earth to have an heir to his mafia empire . While I drowned in confusion about who the father was between Benjamin and Lucas until the doctor gave me the date of conception . Knowing that Benjamin was not the father of my baby lifted a burden off my shoulders but the thought of what Benjamin would do if he found out scared me to the core . Hence , I kept my unborn baby’s paternity to myself . Just when I thought hiding this from Benjamin would keep my baby safe , an unfortunate thing happened during the gender reveal party that led to my first miscarriage . For the first time in my life , I experienced the greatest agony of losing a child . After three years , I fell pregnant again and this time I knew who the father of my baby was from the moment I knew I was expecting . I recall my first sonogram with Benjamin when the obstetrician told us we were expecting fractional twins , a girl and a boy . On that day , I watched as Benjamin rejected our sweet little girl even before she was born . Once again , Benjamin being Benjamin hosted a gender-reveal party despite knowing the babies 's genders just to show off to his business associates and mafia world that he would soon have an heir to his mafia empire . However , on the day of the gender reveal party , something bad happened again and this time my labor was induced . I gave birth to a fit baby girl but lost my son a few moments after he was born . To make matters worse , I never got to see any of my babies because Benjamin sold my daughter and buried my son while I was in a coma . I will never forget the trauma of finding out about everything . After my horrible experiences with my two pregnancies , I decided to take contraceptive pills to prevent pregnancy . In addition , I had an affair with Lucas , who sold me dreams of living in a world free of Benjamin . Little did I know that Benjamin would find my contraceptive pills and switch them with fertility pills , which resulted with me being of child again . This time around , I had no idea who the father could be and the conception date was not helpful at all . Hence , my heart chose that Lucas was the father of my baby simply because I wanted to believe so . Once again , I started dreaming of living a life free of Benjamin and a happy family with a man I greatly adored at the time . However , during my last trimester , Benjamin promised to let me see our daughter he had sold if I was to give him a fit healthy son who would one day rule his dangerous mafia empire to even greater heights . At that time , I was stuck between seeing the daughter I had been yearning for and raising my son to not becoming the next Benjamin by running away . It was one of the most difficult decisions I had to make . I decided to stay in order to see my daughter with the hope that one day I would find a way to escape with my son and live far from Benjamin . However , my so called lover Lucas , decided it was best to kidnap me because he did not want Benjamin anywhere near our son when he was to be born . His decision cost me my chances of seeing my daughter . Not only did I miss my chances of seeing my daughter because of Lucas , he also reveled in an argument that he was responsible for my first miscarriage and my whole world shattered to pieces . I was so devastated that I went into labor immediately . After giving birth to my son who was taken into the NICU , I told Lucas to stay away from me if he ever loved me and even claimed he was not the father of my premature baby . I intentionally told him words that would make him disappear for good because it was evident that my baby and I would not be safe around him . With Benjamin unaware of my whereabouts and Lucas out of the picture , new dreams had to be made to ensure not only my baby 's safety but also his future . After three months of dreaming about being a single mother , Benjamin shows up in my hospital room with my baby . Just when I thought I had heard it all , he tells me that he is aware of my affair with Lucas shaking my whole world down . I could feel that me and baby ’ s end was near as I begged for mercy , but to my surprise what he said gave me the shock of my life . Benjamin informed me that a paternity test was done proving that he is my baby ‘ s father . My biggest fear had come true . Just when I thought Benjamin would kill me , he spared my life solely because our son needs me but left me with a promise that he would raise our son to hate me more than anyone in the world . He even added that my son will hate me so much that I become his first kill , even going to the extent of showing me the gun my son will use to kill me when he is of age . As a mother hearing those words coming out of the father of my baby , felt like a sharp needle was slowly piecing through my skin . I knew that Benjamin was determined to keep his promise , hence even I also made a promise to myself to ensure that I raise my son with so much love that he does not think of killing anyone . However , Benjamin was not going to make it easy for me . For the past thirteen years my son has spent more time around armed men than with children to play with . My son has spent more time around guns than toys to play with and Benjamin never misses a chance to make my son see me as a bad mother , an inferior human being , a bad cop and a person my son hates the most . On one hand , Benjamin is working very hard to turn my son into an arrogant and selfish person who is boastful about being the mafia heir to the greatest empire as if it is a good thing . While on the other hand , I try my best to raise my son as a person who is loving , caring , and a gentleman . At the moment , my son may not understand that what his father is teaching him is unacceptable in society and it is wrong , but one day he will know who has his best interest at heart . Only time will tell who will have a lasting effect on my son and I will ensure that he becomes the man I want him to be , not who his father is trying to raise . There is absolutely no way on earth that I am going to allow Benjamin to destroy my son ' s future while I just stand there and watch like a spectator . My son may not be by my side right now or even express a single drop of love and affection towards me as his mother at the moment , but mark my words one day he will become the man I need him to be . My son is going to be one of the world 's best human beings in the universe . He is not going to have blood in his hands , especially mine . I will not rest until my son I ensure that my son does not become like Benjamin .