Feelings

Chapter 11

Lisa felt her head aching once she opened her eyes. What happened at the party was kind of a blur to her. She couldn't even remember how they got home and what time the party ended. She was about to get up but she felt something heavy on her chest. Her eyes widened when she saw Jennie on top of her, sleeping peacefully. Her heart began to beat faster than usual and she tried her best to calm down, worried that her fast and loud heartbeat might wake Jennie. She had no choice but wait until Jennie woke up. She didn't want to look at Jennie because her heartbeat couldn't be trusted but she ended up looking at her roommate. Strands of her hair was falling on her face, Lisa's free hand reached Jennie's face to tuck the strands of hair behind her ear.

Jennie scrunched her nose because the hair tickled her and she later fluttered her eyes open. Lisa froze because Jennie had already woken up. Jennie just realized she fell asleep on top of Lisa. She immediately got up and she was even more shocked when she saw Lisa was already awake as well.

"Oh no, I'm sorry." Jennie bowed her head to apologize. "Your body must be numb because of me."

"It's...nothing." Lisa carefully got up and Jennie was right, her body was kind of numb. She couldn't feel a thing.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine, don't worry. And I'm not sick, I was just drunk okay." Lisa joked and Jennie just smiled. "What time did the party end by the way?"

"I have no idea. We left earlier."

"Did I...cause any...trouble?"

"Nope. Not really." Jennie sheepishly said as she scratched the back of her head. "I punched someone." Jennie blurted out.

"What?!" Lisa said in shock. "Why would you even do that? We went home early because we got kicked out?"

"Someone was harassing you and I insisted that we should get back. He tried to kiss you."

"He." Lisa mumbled but loud enough for Jennie to hear. Lisa thought for a while. Who would even want to kiss her? And a he.

Taehyung.

Was it him? But they've already talked about it and her mind would never change.

"Don't worry, if he ever gets close to you again he will get a taste of my fist again." Jennie assured.

"No, you don't have to do that. But thank you." Lisa smiled and there was a short silence before she spoke again. "Did you...enjoy the party?"

"Do you want an honest answer or the sugarcoated one?" Jennie chuckled.

"Whichever you prefer."

"Well, it's 50/50 actually. I enjoyed it a bit but not really."

"I actually kind of didn't enjoy it either. I shouldn't have dragged you to that party. I'm sorry."

"If I wasn't there then no one would've punched that guy for you."

"Well, I guess bringing you there came in handy." Lisa chuckled and Jennie just smiled.

"You hungry?" Jennie asked and Lisa just nodded. "Okay, I'll make us some breakfast." Jennie walked to the kitchen.

"I'll help." Lisa followed her.

Lisa helped Jennie with the ingredients and Jennie just cooked in silence. Lisa had been thinking how Jennie ended up on top of her that morning so she decided to ask.

"Um, can I ask you something?" Lisa shyly asked and Jennie turned to her.

"Sure."

"I hope you don't find this weird but...what happened last night?" Lisa carefully asked and Jennie paused for a moment before answering.

"Oh um...you thanked me for last night you pulled me in your arms. And...I fell asleep."

Lisa sighed in relief and just nodded. "Um, I guess I should stop drinking. I was too much to handle."

"No big deal." Jennie smiled.

***

Taehyung and Lisa were friends in their freshmen year at the university before Lisa met Rosé. They were best buds and almost everyone thought they were dating. Taehyung befriended Lisa in hoping that getting closer with her would be easier for him to confess his feelings towards her.

They were walking to Lisa's dorm. Outsiders were not really allowed inside but she always managed to sneak him in. The rooftop was always their hangout place. They always watch the busy city from where they were sitting and sometimes laugh at someone on the ground. Today was the moment Taehyung decided to confess to Lisa. He thought that it was the perfect moment and timing. The sun was setting and the busy city seemed to be calm that time. Everything was peaceful. It made Taehyung to feel relaxed. He took a deep breath before turning to Lisa whose eyes were close with a smile on her face, feeling the smooth wind hit her flawless face. He smiled. How could he not fall in love with a face like that?

"Lisa?" Taehyung broke their silence and Lisa opened her eyes then turned to him.

"Hmm?"

"Do you know when would you know when you fall in love?" He asked and Lisa tilted her head in confusion and thought for a while.

"Hmm..." Lisa looked at the horizon. "I think you know you're in love when the person's imperfections doesn't matter anymore. When their sorrow is also yours. When their happiness is also yours. When you're willing to give your all to that person. You don't care what other people would say even though it scares you. And sometimes, when you really love someone you just have to let them go when they don't find their happiness in you. Seeing them okay and happy with someone else is enough even though it's heartbreaking." Lisa answered and turned back to Taehyung. "Have you been in love? You haven't told me anything if you like anyone." Lisa teased and Taehyung cracked a smile.

"I do like someone." He said while looking at Lisa's eyes. "She's the most amazing person I've ever met. Not to mention beautiful as well. She's everything I could ask for."

"Really? Aw, Taehyung is now a big boy." Lisa cooed as she pinched his cheek. "Who is she anyway? Have you told her that you like her?"

"The girl I like...is just sitting beside me, looking at me." Taehyung said without breaking his stare.

Lisa's smile disappeared. She didn't know what to respond. She nervously chuckled. "What are you talking about?"

"I like you Lisa." Taehyung seriously said and he held her hand. "I promise to take care of you and I promise to make you happy everyday. I will never hurt you."

"But Taehyung, I'm sorry. I..." Lisa didn't want to say she likes someone and tried to think of a reason for him not to be hurt but it seemed impossible for their situation. "I only see you as a brother." Lisa sighed and withdrew her hand from his hold. "You've been a really great friend to me. I uh...I appreciate what you did. Not everyone has courage to say it to the person they like but I'm sorry, I can't return your feelings." She sadly smiled. "You should stop sneaking in here or else I'm dead." She lightheartedly said with a chuckle.

Taehyung didn't seem to make himself even smile at Lisa's quirk. He just nodded and got up, Lisa stood up as well. How could he even smile when the girl he likes just broke his heart?

"I'm really sorry Taehyung. But we could still be friends you know?" Lisa brushed Taehyung's arm to comfort him. "You'll find someone even better than me and that's for sure."

"No, I think I should just keep my distance. It's better for me." Taehyung said, not meeting Lisa's eyes and stormed off of the rooftop.

"Taehyung!" Lisa called to stop him but he just continued to walk away. Lisa sighed, feeling guilty. She just watched Taehyung walked away from her, she thought stopping him would be no use and he might just get mad so she just let him.

They never talked after that. The people who used to tease them were left confused. They felt a bit guilty for teasing them, thinking that they ruined their friendship because of that. But Taehyung cleared to them that it was just nothing and just forget about it.

Even though they were in the same club, they weren't greeting each other. Lisa tried to greet and say hello but Taehyung just ignored her and he just talked to anyone who's around him. She got the message, he's mad. She didn't try to attempt to have small talk with him, she thought it might just get worse so she decided to end her friendship with him. It's just their freshmen year anyway, they're just starting. She'll meet more people and make new friends.

***

"Are you okay?" Lisa hear Jennie spoke as they were eating.

"What?"

"You haven't eaten your food yet, have you lost your appetite?" Jennie asked and she gasped. "The food doesn't look appealing, does it?" She bit her lower lip consciously. "I'm sorry."

"No, no. I was just thinking." Lisa sheepishly chuckled and took a bite of her food.

"What were you thinking then?"

"The guy you punched last night."

"What about him? You want me to punch him again? Just tell me and I will." Jennie said and that made Lisa giggle.

"Again, no need for that." Her giggle died down and took a deep breath. "It's just that I think I have an idea who that guy was."

"Your ex I'm guessing?"

"Oh, no." Lisa chuckled. "But he is my ex-best friend."