Denying Destiny

Tanginang Hula Yan

I could barely walk away from Killian, but I knew I had to. Mamaya may masabi nanaman akong nakakahiya sa kanya.

But weirdly enough, medyo nabitin ako. Not because I wanted to look at him kasi wala namang ibang eye-candy dito sa club na to (actually medyo madilim so ayoko nang maghanap saka nandyan naman sya), but I wanted to talk to him like a normal person. Jusko Stace ano bang pinagsasasabi mo??

Pag upo ko sa pwesto namin, kinurot ako sa tagiliran ni Max. "Hoy malandi ka sino yung kausap mo dun sa smoking area??" Tanong nya sakin. "Yon?" I smiled at Max, pretending to play dumb. "Oo yon. Yung gwapong yon na hulog ng langit sa sambayanan. Paulit ulit?" Galit na si Max at natawa ako sa mukha nya.

"Yon? Yon si Killian Roxas." I simply answered as if I could really lie to Max. Nagulat sya sa sagot ko at natahimik. He weighed in if totoo or binubullshit ko lang sya.

Tinitigan nya si Killian for a while and when he was finally convinced na sakto sa taong nasa labas yung description ni Lian, "AH PUTANGINA IPAKILALA MO KO!" Napatayo sya para lumabas sa smoking area but I quickly held his arms. "Hoy wag! Nakakahiya. Prof ko pa rin yan." And nakita naman ni Max yung point ko so umupo sya ulit.

"Alam mo for a while nakalimutan ko yon." Umirap si Max parang hindi sya natutuwa sa sitwasyon ko. Namin. As if there's even a situation. I frowned.

"Ang gwapo nga nya Stacy! Paano mo natitiis yan?" Max said habang kinikilatis si Killian na nandon pa rin sa smoking area talking to his friend.

I just shook my head but didn't say anything. I remind myself everytime I see him na prof ko sya. Yon. Yon ang rason kung bakit ko sya natitiis. At pag naaalala ko kung paano nyo ipag pilitan sakin yung tanginang hula.

"Alam mo Stace, kung yan yung hula sakin tapos yan ang hihintayin ko, baks kahit sampung taon hihintayin ko yan." Nakatitig pa din si Max kay Killian. Uggghhh Max had to bring up the stupid hula again. "Sana saakin nalang yung hula sayo."

"Sige sayo na." I sarcastically said. "Girl, tinitignan ka!" Siniko ako ni Max. Sumapi na yata si Lian sa kanya. "Wag kang tumitig. You are even worst than Lianna!" Inirapan ko sya. I'm so glad hindi namin kasama si Max sa lawschool. Baka mapa drop out ako ng di oras.

"Speaking of Lian nasan na ba yon?" I tried looking for her over the crowd surrounding us. Is it my imagination or parang mas dumami pa yung tao? Ugggh. I hate clubs.

"May nakitang gwapo si girl. Di mo yun mayayaya umuwi, good luck. Saka dito muna tayo, wag kang KJ. Uminom ka pa. Sasayaw pa tayo." Inabutan ako ni Max ng shot ng Jack Daniels. "Iinom ako pero di na ko sasayaw." I looked at him horrified as I drank the shot. Asang sasayaw pa ko. Nakakahiya dahil magmumukha lalu akong tanga kay Killian pag nakita nya ko sa dance floor.

Naghahanap na ko ng makakapitan pag sakaling kaladkarin ako ni Max para sumayaw. Naka bolt kaya tong couch na to sa sahig? My shoes are a death trap. Pwede naman akong mag paa pag kinaladkad ako ni Max. Pero parang mas nakakahiya yung eksenang yon.

"Ah basta sasayaw tayo. Sayang outfit mo." Inabutan ulit ako ni Max ng isa pang shot.

"Ang gwapo nya pala talaga no? Parang namamagnet yung mata mo once na nakita mo na sya. Parang di mo mapigilan na tignan sya." Max suddenly said habang nagiinuman kami and tumingin nanaman sya table nila Killian kung saan bumalik na sila nung kaibigan nya.

It's not fate. Gwapo lang talaga sya. "Yeah parang ganyan naman effect nya sa lahat." Sabi ko while also stealing a glance sa direction nya habang umiinom na din sya. Tama na tingin Stacy.

"Well apparently, ganyan din effect mo sakanya. Tumingin nanaman sayo." Niloko ako ni Max. "Baka sayo nakatingin kasi kanina ka pa nakatitig sa kanya e." Sinimangutan ko sya.

"So tell me, nakakailang tinginan kayo sa isa't isa pag nasa isang lugar kayo? As in yung nagkaka hulihan kayo ng tingin ha. Syempre di mo naman alam kung nakatingin sya sayo kung hindi mo sya natitignan e." Paintrigang tinanong ni Max. "Di ako sure. Di masyadong madalas." I replied. Kasi I try hard not to look at him. "Saka lahat naman yata tinitignan nya." I added.

"Liar ka no? Sabi ni Lian ikaw daw yung madalas na tinitignan nyan kahit sa klase! Ganda ka??" Hinila ni Max yung buhok ko. "Sorry sumabit yung kamay ko biglang humaba kasi yung buhok mo te!" Pang asar nya.

"Hello, alam mo naman si Lian! Ang exagge non." Inirapan ko sya while I fixed my hair. "Yeah OA nga sya. Pero ikaw, liar ka naman." Tumawa si Max na nang iinis. Bwiset. "E di hindi kami parehong reliable." I shrugged and then took my shot but grinned at him.

Finally, pag tapos pa ng mga lima pang shots at bago pa ako mahatak ni Max sa dance floor, dumating na si Lian.

"Ayoko na dito, umalis na tayo." Lian declared. "Ay bakit madam?" Tinaasan sya ni Max ng kilay. Then she looked upset. "Bakit? Anong nangyari dun sa boylet mo?" Max asked ngayon naman concerned na sya.

"Yun nga, kala ko okay kami kasi buong gabi na kami halos mag kausap and binibilhan nya ko ng drinks and all. Tapos nag ring yung phone nya bigla and he told me that he needed to answer it. Pag layo nya, narinig kong sabi nya 'Hi honey' ng palambing! Like what the hell may asawa pa yata yon. Tara na. Wala akong balak maging side chick or kabit." Umirap si Lian.

I shrugged and I stood up to go. Kunyari lang ayaw ko, pero kating kati na talaga ako umalis dito. "Okay ka lang dito Max?"

"Yeah sige iuwi mo na yang kaibigan natin na may balat sa pwet pag dating sa mga lalake." He joked pero niyakap nya si Lian. "Hindi kasi dito naghahanap ng matinong lalake na iboboyfriend. Unless ikaw si Stacy."

"What may nakilala sya??" Lian looked at me. "Gaga wala, nakita ko na finally si Attorney Killian Roxas." Ngumiti si Max and Lian widened her eyes. "OMG nandito sya?! It's fate. It's destiny." Then she suddenly turned around trying to find our gwapong prof.

Three of my hatest words: Hula, Fate, and Destiny. I wonder who invented the concept of these three? Did he or she completely miss the fact that freedom of choice or free will exists? Like naisip ba nya na eto gagawin ko kasi it's my destiny? Or i'm here because of fate? Hindi ka pwedeng magbago? Everything is inevitable and unavoidable? Walang choice? You're just stuck with what you have? Omg lasing ba ko?! I'm f*****g debating with myself.

"Wag mo nang hanapin Li." Bumeso na ko kay Max.

"Akin nalang yung hula mo." Lian groaned probably naalala ulit yung lalakeng nakilala nya. "Naunahan ka na ni Max, nabigay ko na sa kanya." Natatawang sabi ko. "Di pwede nagkatotoo na yung kanya!" Sumimangot si Lian but bumeso na din sya kay Max.

"Ingat kayo. Love you both!" Max waved as we quickly left the club. Ayaw na daw makita ni Lian yung guy na nakilala nya kaya halos kaladkarin na nya ko palabas. I didn't even have the chance to glance at Killian's table again. Jusko may tama ka na nga Stacy. Ayoko ng sagutin kung sa alcohol or kay Killian.

Nung pag sakay namin sa Grab, I got a text from Max. Natawa ako.

Max: Hinahanap ka pa rin ni Attorney Killian Roxas. Iba ka. Ideny mong tadhana yan.

Stacy: Good night Maximo. Ingat pauwi ❤️

Max: TADHANA. Kulang nalang lapitan na ko nito para itanong kung nasan ka na. Pag nilapitan ako nito, akin na to ha.

Max: Nakalimutan mo yung buhok mo dito sa haba! Sinundan ka pa ata sa labas!!!

Stacy: Nung buhok ko? Hahaha.

Max: Gaga. Nung abogado mo. ❤️

My phone vibrated again and napairap ako sa kulit ni Max. Di ko kailangan ng blow-by-blow update sa naiwan kong gwapong professor.

Atty. Roxas: Stacy, umalis ka na?

WHAT. THE. f**k. Di ako bigla makapag isip.

I typed a quick reply na ilang ulit ko pang pinag isipan if it was neutral enough, then sent it.

Stacy: Yup. Nag aya na si Lian pauwi sa condo. Ingat ka. Enjoy. ?

Take note pinagisipan ko pa yang emoticon na yan.

Atty. Roxas: Okay sayang paalis na din ako. Dapat pala sumabay na kayo sakin. Next time. Ingat.

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. f**k. Di ko alam kung paano nyang nagagawa yung pakiligin ako kahit di ko sya kasama.

Okay, Stace, wag kang mag feeling. He's just being friendly and nice. Wag kang feeling.

I f*****g blame Lian and Max and yung manghuhula for this! How can I even be friends with him with that stupid hula hanging over me? I'm overly conscious because of it!

Teka why do I even fight something I don't believe in? Hindi ba dapat I don't have to fight anything? Kasi hindi nga ako naniniwala. Nalilito na din ako sa sarili ko. Or talagang lasing lang ako.

The following day, Lian was still in a sad mood. "Girl, I'm telling you ang gwapo nya, and may sense of humor and sobrang gentleman. I can feel na sya na yung hinihintay ko e. Perfect na sana. Sobrang sayang lang." Nakasimangot syang nag liligpit ng mga readings sa bag nya.

She'll be going home sa Alabang while I decided to stay behind para makabawi sa mga kailangan kong aralin. I will never be able to concentrate sa bahay.

"Anong pangalan ni perfect married guy?" I asked her, pang asar lang. "Ryan. Ugggh don't remind me." She slumped. "Parang pang asshole nga yung pangalan na Ryan no?" Sumimangot sya.

"Yung dinamay mo pa lahat ng Ryan sa mundo. Sorry na daw. Don't worry, may makikilala ka pa. Na single, hopefully. Sabi nga ni Max, you don't meet decent guys in clubs." I tried to convince her.

"Except for you." Lian smiled. "Baliw. I didn't technically meet him sa club. Sa school diba? He's our professor. Sige na, dadating na tatay mo." I tried to distract her.

"So, he really was there?" Lian asked. Di ko kailangan marinig yung pangalan ni Killian to know who Lian was pertaining to. "Yeah. We bumped into each other dun sa smoking area. Then after ko mag yosi tinuro ko sya kay Max para hindi naman in the dark si beks." I narrated.

"Did he say why he was there?" She asked innocently. Knowing Lian, there's nothing innocent about that question. It's a bait. Everything is. "Birthday daw ng friend nya. Nandon din yung kaibigan nya nung nakita ko sya." I answered her.

Siguro naman it was enough truth for Lian. It was technically true. I just left out the details at yung fact na inakala ko for a while last night nung magkausap kami na we were flirting. I was suddenly embarrassed at my own thoughts. Or di kaya ganon lang talaga sya? Sobrang friendly lang.

"Nagwapuhan si Max? Buti hindi lumapit sa kanya si baks para magpakilala." Lian laughed. "Sino bang hindi nagwapuhan don? Muntik na kung hindi ko lang pinigilan." I answered.

"So, nagagwapuhan ka sa kanya?" Lian eyed me playfully. "May mata naman ako Lianna." Inirapan ko sya. Hindi na kailangan malaman ni Lian kung gaano ka gwapo si Killian para sakin. And I think I'm starting to get annoyed with that fact. Why am I annoyed? Ayoko na din sagutin yung sarili ko. Though alam kong I'm annoyed kasi kinikilig ako.

"Mars ibang klase kayo no? I mean nung nagsabog yung diyos ng coincidence, sinalo niyong dalawa lahat and used them on each other." Lian laughed but didn't further push me. Alam nyang ayaw ko na pinaguusapan yon. I just made a face.

"Li, may sasabihin ako sayo ha, and I hope you can control your thoughts and reactions. I don't look at him, kahit na gusto ko syang tignan dahil may kakulangan ng mga gwapo sa klase natin or maybe even sa school natin. I try very hard not to look at him kasi feeling ko bawal dahil palagi nyo kong niloloko sa kanya. Li, sya lang gwapo, well at least yung ganon ka gwapo. Hindi ba ko pwedeng tumingin sa gwapo without feeling guilty? Wag nyo na kong lokohin para pwede ko na syang tignan like a regular student na may gwapong teacher. Please?" I dramatically told Lian.

Well again, partly true. But I hope this will get her off my back and stop with those silly coincidences and fate s**t.

"Okay. Baka yan na yung hula no? Hintayin mo si Killian Roxas. Sya lang yung worth titigan." Lian giggled. "Yeah, exactly. Hula fulfilled." I nodded in agreement. I can't believe Lian is eating this up. I almost felt guilty. But if this will make Lian stop with her obsession and would leave me alone, ok lang.

"Alam mo Stace, as your best friend, gusto ko lang ipaalam sayo na bullshitera ka. You think naniniwala ako sayo? How many times have you done this to me just to get me off your back? Natuto na ko kay Maximo because he pointed out your modus. Hindi mo ko mabubudol. Di mo ko maloloko. Di mo ko masascam!" Lian laughed and made a smug face at me.

Fuck. Well it was worth the try.

"So ano yung tell ko?" I laughed. "As if sasabihin ko!" Lian eyed me pero natatawa na din ulit then she finished with her things. Her phone rang. Her dad was already waiting for her.

She turned to leave. "Bye, Mrs. Roxas." Pangasar nito sakin. "f**k you. Mabuntis ka sana." I laughed with her.