Pursuing my Freedom

Jhaz's Pov Success. What do you feel when you finally reached your dreams in life? For me it felt like your appreciated, loved but there's always missing like, the people who are always there for you when your struggling to achieve your dream but they suddenly disappear, it hurts right? When you dream together, helped each other, plan together but it just went to nothing as easy as you throw your trash anywhere. Is it that easy to throw me away, our friendship, our plans and dreams?. "Ma'am may call po kayo from the hospital. Hindi niyo daw po kasi sinasagot ang tawag nila sayo kaya sakin po tumawag. " My secretary said and left my office. I reached my phone and my 5 missed calls si shallane, isa sa mga nurse sa hospital kung saan ako nag tratrabaho. I called her again to ask whats the problem. "hello" Bungad ko ng sinagot niya ito. "Hello doc, sorry to disturb you pero hanap po kasi kayo ng isang pasyente, sinasabi po namin na hindi ka naka duty pero ikaw po talaga ang gusto ehh." Ani nito at agad kumunot ang noo ko, sino naman ito wala naman akong naka schedule na pasyente ngayon ahh. "sino daw" Tanong ko "Ayaw nga po sabihin ehh ang sabi niya sabihin ko daw sayo 'tuparin mo na daw ang ipinangako mo sakanya', ehh doc. hindi ka naman naman naniniwala sa pangako diba?" Ani nito na nagtataka. Tila para akong nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig dahil sa narinig. Malubha na ba sakit niya?. " ahh sige sige papunta na ako" I said and leave my office, i just ordered my secretary to cancel all my appointments at dali dali ng pumunta ng hospital. " Doc kilala niyo po ba siya?" Ani ni shallane nang makapasok ako sa hospital. "asan siya?" I ask her not minding her question. "sa room 142 po doc." Ani nito at tumango ako at umalis na, sumunod naman ito sakin. Nang makapasok ako sa kwarto ay nakita ko si tita na nakahiga at nakangiti ito sakin kaya ngumiti ako pabalik. "Hi tita, what happened? kamusta na po kayo?." I asked at umupo sa upuan na nasa tabi niya. "Hello iha, maayos lang naman ako pero kailangan ko na talagang operahan, diba nangako ka sakin na ikaw ang oopera sakin kapag naging magaling na doctor ka na, iha hindi ko na kaya pwede bang tuparin mo na ngayon iyon." Ani ni tita at ngumit ng tipid sakin, siya ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit nag pursige ako na maging isang magaling na doctor. Huminga ako ng malalim at napakagat sa ibabang labi. "Opo tita pwede ko nang tuparin ang pangako ko sainyo, kailangan ko lang po mag run ng test sainyo bago mag plano para sa operasyon niyo po, wag po kayo mag alala gagawin ko po lahat ng kaya ko." Ani ko at ngumiti, sinuklian niya naman ito. "Maraming salamat iha, hindi ka parin nag babago tumutupad ka parin sa pangako, lalo kang gumanda, alam mo ba lagi akong nanonood ng mga fashion show mo noon." Ani ni tita akmang mag sasalita ako ng biglang bumukas ang pinto at iniluwal non ang taong ayaw ko nang makita pa kahit kailan. "jhaz" Sabi niya sa mahinang boses. 'jhaz' tss he doesn't call me 'dre' anymore. Haha oo nga naman sino ba naman ako para tawaging kaibigan niya ulol. Huminga ako ng malalim at ngumiti. "hi" Ani ko gusto ko mag tanong kaso nakakahiya baka hindi siya interesado. "kamusta si mama?" He said, medyo nakaka hurt ahh grabe hindi parin talaga niya know mangamusta. "ahh ok lang siya pero kailangan na siyang operahan pero we need to run a few tests for her." My gosh ang hirap mag english char. "ohh okay, kamusta ka na?" Ay marunong naman pala mangamusta pero sorry kunware snobber na ako ngayon hehe. Kaya ayun nilampasan ko lang siya don hahahaha. Pero for real naiiyak ako kasi kaibigan ko yun tapos parang hindi na kayo mag kakilala ngayon. Na set up na ang operasyon ni tita bukas ng hapon, kaya umuwi na ako sana naman nag luto yung mga kasama ko dun, pagod na kasi ako para mag luto pa. Kasalukuyang nasa kalsada ako ngayon at naiinis ako kasi traffic well normal naman na toh, nag soundtrip nalang ako kaso may galit ata ang mundo sakin kasi yung isa sa mga kinakanta naming dalawa noon, lalo na kapag nag roroadtrip kami shutragis. 'best day of my life' i dont know kung bakit yun yung naging favorite song namin. Nakarating ako sa bahay ng bad mood, sino ba namang hindi nakita mo na nga siya tapos maririnig mo pa paborito niyong kanta, tapos uuwi ka ulam niyo yung isa nanaman sa paborito niyong mag kaibigan, may galit ata ang mundo sakin lintek. Mechado ang ulam for today and its our favoraite ni dre or should say Luke?, bigla kong namiss si mommy and daddy uwi kaya akong baguio. Habang nag iisip ako may isip pala ako, nakarinig ako ng nag tatawanan hay anjan nanaman yung mga baliw. "Kumain na kayo?" I asked them and they both nodded, i dont have appetite so i just went to the ref and find a milk. While putting some milk i asked the two of them. "Uwi tayong baguio?" I asked and i saw how they were both froze, alam ko naman na hindi sila papayag kasi i always asked them every year or month but they always say they're busy, i know their story why they both dont want to go to Baguio. Home. "Sige kailan" they both asked and im the one who froze now, mabilis akong bumaling sakanila sakaling nag kamali lang ako ng narinig i blinked several times to make sure im not dreaming i even slap myself. "wh- ho- sa- s-asama k-kayo?" I was stuttering while asking them, and they both nodded that made me jump in happines and run towards them to hug them. "hmmm, today is monday so siguro mga thursday or friday ooperahan ko pa kasi si tita lovelyn bukas eh tapos hindi ko naman pwedeng iwan agad so yeah baka friday nalang if kaya ng thursday sa thursday nlng" i said while staring at the ceiling. I was caught off guard when they both scream. " WTF?" Mabilis akong bumaling sakanila dahil sa pag sigaw nila, and i saw them both covering their mouth and parang shocked na shocked. I arched my brow at them confused. "you mean si tita lovelyn yung nanay ni luke?" They both asked, now i know why are they so shocked. I just nodded as a response. "Kamusta na si tita? bisitahin muna natin siya bago tayu umuwing baguio its been a years since our last bond," Abby said, there is a pain in her voice kahit hindi nila sabihin na miss na nila si tita alam ko yun well same with me, and with that thought i started to miss my old freinds. "Gurls punta lang akong room" Ani ko sa mga kaibigan ko cause i know i was going to breakdown in a minute at tumango naman sila, they are the only one who didn't left me even they have problems they didn't leave, they are the one who loved me, my flaws, my personality and all of me. I brought my milk with me in my terrace to star gaze again, actually sa main terrace ng house namin ako pumunta hindi sa room haha. It's been a long time since i looked at the stars twinkling and the moon with a perfect shape of circle, i dont usually star gaze now because it just remind me of my freinds that left, they are like a balloon i was holding but it suddenly flew from my hand and disappear. "Miss mo nanaman sila no, hindi mo talaga kayang kalimutan sila kahit sila yung isa sa mga sumira ng buhay mo." Ani ni abby sakin, huminga ako nang malalim kaso parang kahit anong oras papatak na ang luha ko, ayaw ko mang aminin pero tama siya miss ko na sila. "Hindi naman ganon kadali yun eh naging parte sila ng buhay ko, isa sila sa mga dahilan kung bakit ako nabuhay noon" Ani ko medyo basag na din ang boses ko kasi sa tuwing naalala ko sila naiiyak ako. Narinig ko ang malalim niyang pag buntong hininga alam kong naiinis sila sakin kasi nag dradrama nanaman ako ng dahil lang sa mga taong nang iwan sakin hayst. The next day came and i prepared for the operation of tita kahit na hapon pa yun ay may mga test pang kailangang gawin para maoperahan na siya. "Jhazzz!!!!!" Sigaw ng dalawa kong kaibigan ang hilig sumigaw eh alam naman nila na malakas boses nila. "Aalis na ako ano ba yun? wait- aalis kayo?" i asked them and ngayon ko lang napansin na naka ayos sila. "The f**k jhaz diba we told you kahapon na were going to visit tita sa hospital bago mo operahan" Andrea said with an annoyed tone, tsssss maldita. We are now on our way to the hospital and my freinds let me drive cause they are so lazy to drive, i always hate them for being lazy because im the one who's gonna do what they are supposed to do. We are now currently walking to the room of tita. "Kamusta na si tita" Abby said while were walking. "Well, okay naman siya kaso we really need to operate her kasi she really did wait for me to be successful so im gonna be the one to operate her and while tita is waiting for me mas lalong lumalala ang sakit niya, i always thought it every night why dind't tita came and find me, i gave her my number after our graduation but i didn't received any messages or call." I explained to her and i saw pain passed her eye and nag paalam muna siya para bumii sa cafe sa baba, my mind is flooded with thoughts and dind't realize na nasa harap na ako ng door ni tita nang biglang may nag abot ng panyo sakin at tinitigan ko lang ito, when i smelled a familiar scent my tears started running down to my cheeks, ganun ko ba siya ka miss at pati ang amoy niya ay naamoy ko na. Nabalik ako sa realidad ng biglang may nag punas ng aking luha at mabilis naman akong tumingin sakanya and i was right he's here because its her mothers operation duh. Inabot niya sakin ang panyong hawak niya at mabilis ko naman itong kinuha at tinalikuran siya at tumakbo ng mas mabilis pa sa alas kuatro. "My goshhh jhaz nakakahiya ka tangina, bat ba kasi ngayon pa ako nag overthink bobo ko tangina" i shouted when i reached my office arghhhh. Naputol ang aking pag sigaw ng may biglang kumatok, i fixed myself and opned the door and there i saw my freinds confused. "hoy i thought you will gonna wait us sa room ni tita and why the f*ck are you shouting?" Andrea asked while holding a two cups of coffee while abby is also holding a two cups of coffee. "huh nothing, my secretary called me so i went to my office to find some files. Let's go?" I said. Lies. Im sick of lies. We reached tita's room and there i saw ralff sitting at the side of tita's bed. He immediately stood up when he saw us, i was shocked when tita screamed. "tita whats wrong? may masakit ba?" I asked " ma why are you screaming?" Ralff asked worriedly at sabay pa talaga kami ahh. "omg the three beautiful ladies of ace squad is here ahhh im so happy" Tita said happily but the four of us froze hearing that word, our squads name. Ace Squad. Silence. "ahmm i will just call the nurse to start the test so we can proceed to the operation." I broke the silence and they all smiled awkwardly. After running some tests we can finally operate tita, abby and andrea is with tita the whole time. We are now currently going to the operation room i can feel the tention between us, i know they are all nervous also me but i believe myself, i need to cause no one did. "You can do it" The three of them said while smiling i just smiled back even though its fake but they wont know cause my best mascara is my smile. I just hope they won't see it in my eyes cause eyes never lies. The operation started and going smoothly and im so nervous without any reason i usually dont feel this when im operating a patien- f**k i shocked when a blood spit out on my face oh no! this is not happening, i can still save tita. I believe in myself.