12.
1042 Words
"Do you like Sire?" Sir Ajax asked me the other night. And I choked on my breath. I looked for Satan. Thankfully, he was not in the kitchen. I had decided to get in the kitchen early. I was bored. And Sir Ajax's colleagues were on leave today. Somehow, they were in the remand room. I didn't know they existed in hell as well.
"Sir Ajax, why are you so adamant about proving that I like Satan? I don't, Sir Ajax. Do you like Satan?" I asked him instead and he looked taken aback by my question. He looked at me for a minute before bursting into fits of chuckles.
"What made you think I like the Sire, little human?" He asked me and I shrugged my shoulders, cutting the tomatoes.
"Exactly the same reason that made you believe that I like Satan, Sir Ajax." I said with a sweet smile and he shook his head, stirring the curry.
"I am asexual, little human." He said, and my words died inside my mouth. Wow. That was very blunt. But when was Sir Ajax not blunt?
It's been a month since I tried to summon the Satan. And a month since I have been living here. A month since, Sir Ajax and I have become great friends. A month since, we often sit at the dining table and talk about our lives. He said he had never been to a therapy session. And I have been to many of them.
"Satan is attractive, yes. And we, humans, get attracted to beautiful people and things more easily than demons get attracted to scents. But no, I don't like Satan. I find him attractive but, it's not the same as liking someone, Sir Ajax." I said, and he looked at me with an expression that screamed that he knew everything.
"Of course, I don't know much about attraction and infatuation, little human. It's just the way you look at our Sire. Even a blind person can tell that you possess feelings for him. Chop them a little smaller and thinner." He suggested, looking down at my tomatoes, and I nodded my head but my eyes were narrowed in disagreement.
"I don't like Satan. And two, I can sense sarcasm in blind people's jokes. It's called dark humor on our earth." I said, and Sir Ajax laughed, shaking his head.
"Where do you think the concept of dark humor started, little human?" The cook asked me with amusement and I looked at him with surprise.
"Don't tell me demons and devils started the dark humor?" I asked him with a chuckle and he laughed, nodding his head.
"Who else do you think started dark humor? Only demons had the heart to crack them back in those days. Humans just learn these with time." He said and I looked at him with my lips slightly parted as I nodded my head.
"I heard you used to work in a bakery, up on earth?" Sir Ajax asked me and I nodded my head, sauteing the vegetables.
"You're not allowed to eat food. Else, I would have baked cookies and pastries for you. I make good cakes." I said, and before Sir Ajax could've said anything to me, Satan decided to interject.
"Baking is not allowed in hell, human. We don't celebrate here." Satan said from behind as he walked inside the kitchen.
Today, instead of wearing the cloak he usually wears, Satan was dressed in the clothes he was wearing in the courtroom. He was still dressed in his suit. And the only difference was that he had his coat off.
I looked at him in shock. Did he just say hell doesn't celebrate? Like that's the saddest thing I have ever heard. Not that I celebrate things either. In certain ways, my life is so similar to life in hell. So bloody depressing.
"Why, Satan? Don't you celebrate the birthdays of your staff members?" I asked him, and he looked at me with a look that told me he would burn me alive in the fire of hell, if he had the power to.
"My staff doesn't remember their birthdays now, human. They are centuries old." Satan and I don't know why it made me laugh.
"You know, Satan, talking about age is quite offending on earth." I said, and he scoffed, rolling the sleeves of his shirt up as he sat down on the chair. My eyes tried not to follow Satan's actions. After all, Sir Ajax was watching me. My actions towards Satan. And I didn't wish to give another reason for Sir Ajax to believe that I liked Satan. The thought itself made me shudder.
A human growing feelings for the ruler of hell was not just stupid but it was illogical as hell.
"Humans get offended by useless things, human. It's none of my concern. But baking is not a thing hell has in its rules. You can't bake here." He said to me, in a no-nonsense tone. I rolled my eyes as I covered the pot before walking towards him, wiping my hands with the apron. It's not like I ever baked outside the bakery shop.
One, I didn't have a microwave to bake for. And two, I never had an occasion to bake. So, it didn't really bother me. But the fact that Satan didn't allow celebration in his realm troubled me. How can someone not appreciate birth? How can someone live without celebrating? Like akin to working hard for someone with no appreciation. How are they still working with no motivation?
"Little human, celebration for you may have a different definition than us, demons. Celebration for you may mean something like having good food or drinking wine. Demons don't celebrate. Celebration would have a very wicked meaning for us. And trust me, you wouldn't like the idea of our celebration. That's why Sire said that celebrations are not allowed in hell. Or that celebration is not allowed to demons. Because that would create fear in the mortal realm."
Sir Ajax explained to me. And I realized, no matter how hard I try, Satan's ideology would always surprise me. For good, of course.
- Writer
