Whisper of the heart

CHAPTER3

I could not believe what my father said but worst of all I could not believe the words that came out of my mouth. He turned to me swiftly and his eyes held disgust. I have never seen him like this before. Maybe I have but I managed to convince myself that it was not what it looked like. Today, I have chosen to see it and call it what it truly is.

“I see that you have found your way back home.” He ended the call and faced me properly.

“Who did you r**e and leave to die last night father?” I raised my voice but my eyes were beginning to fail me as tears gathered in them as I met the cold gaze of the man that had brought me into this world, the very same man I have loved with all my heart… and the same man that is tearing my heart to pieces with his emotionless expression.

“Will that be any consolation to you? Will it in any way make you have a clear conscience, Maya?” he mocked and I blinked the tears in my eyes away.

“Who… did you r**e and leave to die, father?” my voice cracked, betraying me but I will keep asking regardless till he gives me an answer. Who knows I might just be assuming. My mother was dead and my father is a handsome young man. He might just be playing around with ladies for fun.

“What? Why are you bent on knowing who it is? It’s not like you don’t know already,” he smirked and I took a step away. “Oh wait… were you expecting me to pull you to a warm embrace, kiss your forehead and apologize for last night?” his eyes held bitterness and disgust as he spoke.

I couldn’t even recognize my father in those beastly eyes that bored into mine. “Or were you expecting me to say you did good and that I wanted more of your p***y?” he threw his head backwards and laughed maliciously. My legs could not carry my body again, I held the door for support.

“Maybe Maco will say that to you, after all he was the one who had all of the fun with you. I was too disgusted to even stay long inside a w***e like you.” He spat and I broke down completely. He was right, finding the truth had no consolation in it. It only brought me pain like no other.

“What did I ever do to you to deserve this? How can you r**e your own daughter?” my voice was faint and low. The pain in my heart was too much that I found it hard to project my voice.

“You took away everything from me. All I wanted in life was your mother. I told her not to keep the pregnancy… she insisted and now, she is gone and I am stuck with you.” He pushed the vase on the table and it broke into pieces.

“Why don’t you just die?” he pushed the bottles on the table and overthrew the table in anger. I cried the more.

“Why can’t you just love me and accept me I am your only family.” I whispered while he panted angrily.

“You are not and will never be my family.” his eyes were so dark and empty. I can never be accepted by him. The earlier I accept it. The better for me.

I picked myself from the messy room. I didn’t bother going to my room to change again. There was no point. The one person that mattered to me betrayed me in the worst way ever and was not even remorseful.

I walked out of his room slowly. Every negative word he had ever said to me played in my head as I walked towards the door.

“I hope I never see your disgusting face again.” He called as I walked out of the house.

I didn’t turn back. You know that scenario where you know you are leaving a place for good and you have had memories in that place… that urge to look at everything one last time to keep it safe in your mind for future reference or for the days you’ll feel home sick?

That was not the case for me. I realized I had hoped for a future that was never going to be with my father. I had looked forward to the day he’ll call me his sweet child, like mother used to do. I looked forward to a time where he would say he was proud of me.

That day would never come. And there was no memory to look back at. I was leaving for good. That was the best thing I could do for him. He had always said that I was nothing like my mother. While she was a tall blonde, I was a short lady with long brown hair. Another major difference that he frowned at as that she loved water and I had aqua phobia.

It started when I was a kid and I fell into water and almost drowned. I loved water because it reminded me of my mother, I had always felt so close to her when I near any body of water except for last night.

But if I ever needed to say goodbye to her, I wouldn’t look back at the house I have left miles away. I will look to the body of water before me. I stood on the bridge watching the soft waves and feeling the subtle breeze that was blowing against it.

That was my mother’s personality, gentleness and softness. I remembered her smile- so real and contagious- I wish I can see it one last time.

Or maybe I can but I have never thought about it because I felt obligated to look after my father and make sure he was not sad. But he had not changed since my mother died. He was still the mean looking man that I knew.

And last time he became the most wicked man I know. Not only did he r**e me but he brought his pervert of a friend Maco to join him in the defilement.

Then today, he graduated to the most heartless man on earth. Telling me to my face that he hated me and I will never be his family. I will never forgive him. The only family I have left is the one whose spirit is in the waters.

The only barrier between us is the row of iron that is almost like a balcony. Without thinking twice I climbed on it, still in my hospital dress.

Closed my eyes and I jumped.