Remark

Hearts Don't Break Here

I didn’t know what’s wrong with the leadership system of the university recently that they keep disseminating information about this and that, it was starting to get very bothersome – especially to students like me who’re so busy with professional subjects. Jonah called the whole board again to meet and talk about things that the student council spoke with them.

“On Friday, the student council wanted to thank the whole campus for participating in the Valentines activity yesterday. They are inviting everyone to attend CSU’s annual socialization night in which will be held at the school field. The student council partnered with all the departments to make this event possible which is why we are mandated to help organize that said event.”

No one said anything so I don’t know if they liked the idea or not. Personally, I don’t think it was a bad idea but I don’t think it was necessary at this point. I get that they want to thank everyone for participating and all but they can just show their gratitude verbally. It would be fun, yes, but my academics were more important to me more than anything.

“I want the representatives to share this information to every year level. I’m not expecting everyone in our department to attend but I want the whole board to at least be present that day. I’m not forcing everyone, I’m begging everyone in the board to attend.”

It’s not every day that Jonah begs. This must be something important to every department governs.

“Our president never begs, not even once last year,” What I just said. “So maybe we should just swear to attend on Friday.” Gail said. “Besides, this is the only time we can show how much we appreciate the efforts of our dear president.”

“Or is it?” Terry suddenly blurted out and he began implementing fake coughs that eventually teased Gail.

I was okay with attending – no complaints intended. Besides, I think I needed to have fun after my continuous stressful days. Maybe this is not really a bad thing even if it’s unnecessary. I need this for myself even.

“We all deserve a break, after all.”

Everyone agreed at Henry’s statement. I guess we were already in a position where it’s too embarrassing to say no. Besides, it was only for a night. It won’t hurt anyone after all. If anything, we’re helping everyone relax.

“I’ll let everyone know about the preparation dates. For now, do your obligations for the department and fail me not. Gail, please send the files I told you about yesterday. Serena, the letter for the trip for Apprenticeship for the fourth years. Yelena, I need the monthly report for the department. Henry, give the financial list for the year to Darwin. Jules, I need the report from the previous school fest. Dismissed.”

Even I was breathless from everything Jonah just said. I don’t think I’m capable of remembering such responsibilities from something you’re not even supposed to be focused on. I stood from my chair about to leave, when Jonah suddenly calls my name. I turned back around to face him. “Yes?” I asked and he looked like he was trying to remember what he has to say to me.

“Will you be okay going home alone?” He asked. “I know I said you can never let a girl go home alone but—”

Smiling, I bobbed my head and assured that I’ll get back home safely. “What about you? Are you still staying here?” I asked back out of concern.

He nodded bitterly and looks down the crowded table. “I need to finish a few papers for the department, fix and check every written report. I wouldn’t let you go home alone if I didn’t have this much work.”

“Will you be fine here alone?”

He smiled and nodded. “I’ll be fine thank you.”

I felt bad that I couldn’t do anything to help him. I would if I had the knowledge but I didn’t. I was scared that if I do insist to help him with my poor skills in the field of leadership, I might just ruin and mess everything he worked hard for and that’s just going to drag him out of his post so maybe cheering for him and supporting him would be the best help I can give. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. There’s more to life than being our department president.”

He chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind. Besides,” He pulls out something from below. “I have Mr. Wabbles here with me.” He shows me the plushy I gave him before so I laugh. “Go home safely, okay?”

“I will. I’ll go ahead,” When he nodded, I stepped out of the office and marched my way to my locker to grab my things. As per usual, a note was sticking out again. I wasn’t irritated that I’m getting all these motivational notes but I would just like to meet the person behind all these.

You don’t have to keep comparing yourself with other girls. You just have to tell them the difference between a moon and a sun. You’re the sun. –CM

Sun?

The following day, the student council gathered all officials of the department to talk about the preparation of the event. Everyone was there. I can even see Jeffrey and Mark inside. I saw Hikaru with his own department. I knew a lot of people who were officials of their own departments. Even Samantha was here. I guess she’s making her report card beautiful as well.

They started talking about how they came up with the idea. They said it was one of the highlights of the university every school year and to them, it was a very big deal but while listening to these lectures about why this and that is important, I was still bothered by the note I received yesterday. I’ve always received them but I never really got into a position like this where I didn’t know what it meant and I was desperate to know what it meant.

“This is too much for the month of February, don’t you think?” Terry, who was sitting next to me, mumbled. He was right. There was way too much activities for this month that it’s physically devastating. “You know, if it weren’t really for Jonah, I wouldn’t even be here.”

“You do know you’re talking to someone Jonah’s actually courting right, T?” Yelena suddenly butted the same way she does whenever Terry has something to say. Yelena was sitting behind us with Chris and some other officials from our club but worse of all, did she just say someone Jonah’s actually courting?

I turned to her in surprise. For as long as I remember, I never announced anything about this courting things that’s happening between Mark and Jonah. I’m pretty sure they shook their hands together in private.

“Silly, why are you giving me that look. It’s not like everyone still doesn’t know about it.”

My eyes widened even more. “What’s it?” I asked in worry.

“You know, that Mark and Jonah are rivals to win you?”

My jaws dropped in awe. “H— Wh—” How do people even get information like this? Where do these come from? Do they get these from illuminatis? I am so confused. I am so shocked. I was having a panic attack.

“The only reason why it was confirmed is because of what happened during Valentines. Only Mark and Jonah bid over a million for you. A hundred and fifty million, to be exacto. You should be really proud of that!” She exclaimed but all I felt was the shame.

I buried my head down and sighed deeply. So everyone knows that now. I’m doomed.

By Friday, everything was set for the socialization night. We stayed up on campus until ten in the evening to finish everything and thankfully, we managed to finish them without having to stay up until midnight. The Architecture department was assigned to be in charge of the tents that will be used as comfy seats during the event because apparently, it wasn’t just a part night for everyone, the even was divided into parts – the battle of the bands, open mic and the Bon Fire.

The Battle of the Bands is currently on show and I was just sitting down the tent alone watching how happy everyone was of how everything turned out. I smiled at the thought. “Nami-chan!” I turned and saw Hikaru running towards me with a red cup.

“Karu-kun, hey,”

He sits across me not minding how grassy and dirty was. “What are you doing here? Why are you here? Why aren’t you having fun just like everyone else?”

“I have six plates waiting for me at my apartment. I can’t take it off my head, to be honest.” I joked and we both chuckled. “You don’t have to come here and pity me while you’re partying and enjoying. I’m really fine – really.”

He looks at me and raises his brows. “I am not pitying you. I just came here to watch your reaction when you see Mark go up that stage.”

Mark? I frowned and turned to him confused. “Mark? What about him? Go up where?”

He replied with a rather suspicious smiles instead of answering me words.

“Let’s welcome our next contingent, from the Journalism department, Mark Lee!”

 My head slowly turned towards where the stage was located and I immediately recognize Mark approaching the center stage with a guitar on his hand. I almost forgot that Mark was a talented guy but is he really joining the contest right now? Like legitimately?

“That reaction.” I hear Hikaru say teasingly but my eyes are fixated to Mark who was casually dressed on stage.

We weren’t even together anymore but I was nervous for him. I was worried that he wasn’t prepared to sing anything or rap anything but other than that, I trust his skills. I trust he won’t brag and show up on stage and humiliate himself.

“This song, I dedicate, to one of the reasons why my heart still beats, someone I love and treasure the most. Happy birthday, Nami.” He says through the speaker and scans the crowd. He failed to see me of course. The dark ambiance of the night wasn’t helping him. At that, he began strumming his guitar and I hear his heavenly voice.

“I know you’re the one who broke up with him but I’m pretty sure you’ll take him back after this song. Your ex is surprisingly a good singer besides being a great dancer and rapper. He’s talented and not many guys are like that.”

I frowned and finally turned to Hikaru who was laughing. “I’m not getting back with him until he realizes his mistakes,”

“Look at you,” He points at me. “You’re almost too trapped by his voice that I bet you can’t even notice anyone else but him now.”

Am I? I sighed. Hikaru was right. Mark wasn’t a singer but his voice was really good even if he was rapper. His voice was so soothing and calming that it could immediately make me eat my words and take it all back. If I wasn’t strong enough to go against my temptations, I would have been back with him ages ago.

“I guess I’m going now. I already saw what I wanted so,” Hikaru stood and I watched him clean his butt. “See you at the bon fire, Nami-chan. And don’t hide too much, okay? Have fun like a normal college student.”

“I’ll try,” I chuckled and see him walk away from me.

When they finally called everyone for the bonfire, everyone sat around it with blankets and marshmallows. I was scanning for Jonah or Hikaru but I couldn’t see them anywhere so I just sat next to this guy who was really far behind the fire. I took a seat and turned to the guy who was surprisingly Tyler. “Captain,” I called and he immediately recognizes his nickname.

“Oh, Nami,” He forces the words to come out of his mouth so he won’t spit what he was eating. “Hey,” He greeted back and stops eating.

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I didn’t expect to see me here either so,”

We laughed. He looked tired but I remained quiet and disregarded my nosy thoughts. He was wearing a black shirt underneath his grey hoodie. I never really saw Tyler in a different color so I wasn’t surprised.

“How are things with my stupid friend?” he asked and I wheezed at his comment.

“Good. Better than before I guess.”

I see him nod. “How do you feel about two guys fighting over you? I can’t even imagine how f****d up that is.”

“Well,” I started and sighed. “It’s a lot more than what people think.”

“I wouldn’t know.” He hissed and looks away. “Oh wow, it’s a full moon today?” he suddenly asked making me look up at the dark sky.

The moon really was full today it looks very beautiful right now. Then I remembered the note I received that was talking about the difference between a moon and a sun. “Do you perhaps know the difference between the moon and the sun?” I hear him snort as I finish my question.

“Difference between the sun and moon?”

I nodded and found it really funny when he repeated my questions but interchanged the sun and moon.

His brows furrowed. “The moon comes out at night and the sun at morning?”

I glared at Tyler not able to accept his horrible answer.

He laughed. “Do you know why people say that the moon is prettier than the sun?”

“Because you can’t even see the sun?”

He smirks. “Exactly,” So why am I the sun? Because I’m not pretty, I guess? “But the sun’s pretty too, don’t get me wrong.” I laughed at his sudden defensive argument. “By the way, belated happy birthday. I didn’t know you had a birthday.” He joked and I rolled my eyes. “Oh, cookies?” he offers the bag he was holding but I politely declined.

“Thank you but I have to pass.” His cookies looked good though. “The last thing I want to happen right now is to have diarrhea in the middle of the night at school because of eating your cookies. Tempting, but no thanks”

He chuckled. “Touche, If it’s there and I wouldn’t be able to help it, I’d go straight to Mark’s mouth and pour it all there for being talk s**t in your favor.”

“That’d be really funny.”

“But I can’t really do that. Mark’s a douchebag but he’s still my jackass friend.”

After the bonfire, they already sends us to sleep in the tents we made for everyone. I was with Yelena and Chris in the tent but I couldn’t stay still. I couldn’t sleep even if I turned right to left many times – even if I counted sheep a million times so I rose from my comforter and stepped out of the tent.

The fresh air lingers down my skin and it instantly made me feel better. Maybe the air I was breathing was way too suffocating for me already. I stretched my back in satisfaction. The field was a mess. Cups were scattered everywhere, the burnt wood was just sitting there – it was a mess.

I turned around and like a ghost, Mark suddenly appears in my sight. Am I seeing things or is this real? I blinked and leaned closer to verify and he was there. “Why are you still out here? Why aren’t you sleeping?” I asked.

“You’re not sleeping either.”

We both know I wasn’t trying to get that answer from him. “Okay?” I slowly took a step backwards when he suddenly grabbed my wrist to stop me from turning around and walking away.

“Wait, uh, I—”

I stared at him and wondered where all his confidence went. He used to be very boastful over petty things and seeing his this way right now was really refreshing. It was the first I see him act like this. He’s even worse than he was when he was acting like he needed to confess his love for my best friend.

“I wanted to give you this, Nami.”

I looked down at his arms that were offering me a black box. “What’s this? What’s the occasion?” I asked creasing my brows deeper.

“For your birthday.”

My birthday. “My birthday was weeks ago.”

“I know,” He replied. “And I didn’t want to greet you the same day people did so I’m greeting and giving you my gift now. I’ve been out of your life and I can’t let a day feel less special every time it has to be.”

He was still cocky though. “Thank you, but you didn’t really have to—”

“Good night, princess.” He flashed a small smile before walking away and leaves me the gift without a choice. I felt guilty that I felt good hearing him call me princess again. Suddenly, my adrenaline rush was getting to me like a rollercoaster. I was so pissed at myself.

I sat over an empty log unsure if I should open this or if I should return it to him but I ended up opening the box he gave me. I wasn’t able to stop my temptation at this point. I wanted to see what he gave me. As soon as my eyes landed on what was inside his gift, I can’t say I’m disappointed but, I wondered why he gave me a key.