Remark

If This Was a Movie

So I survived the first semester. I never thought I could but I did somehow in some way. The second semester started off – well hassle as usual in our department. We were given more plates than ever and if I wasn’t so eager to graduate with an Architect fixated before my name, I wouldn’t sacrifice my life for this course. Although I’m not really wasting my life. I’m very contended with what I have right now.

Jonah called in all the board members for an emergency meeting today. No one had any idea about what was going to happen. Even Gail didn’t know anything when she would normally do as his right-hand person. “Are we like having prom or something? Is this what this emergency meeting is about?” Terry asked and I turned to him. Prom? Again? I’d like to believe that it was one of the best days of my life but it only reminds me how much I liked Mark and I don’t like remembering that.

“That’s not a thing in college anymore, T! That’s so like high school.” Yelena replied with a frown before rolling her eyes back to the front where Jonah was currently standing at. Terry gives her a light slap over her back.

“I called in everyone because the student council is coming up with a way to raise funds for every department.”

“At least they’re actually advocating ways for the benefit of every department. I almost forgot that we are being handled by the student council. They’re not very productive.” Gail mumbles making everyone snort.

“True.”

“So what do we need to do? Do we need to do anything?” She asked.

Jonah then sighed deeply, pressing his lips together in dismay. It was as if he wasn’t in favor of what he’s about to say and I bet it wasn’t the best plan seeing how he reacts to it. “It’s an auction.”

“So,” Henry eyes everyone with the same confused look we were wearing. “We just give them something to sell or—”

“It would have been fine if it is things we’re auctioning but no,” Jonah cuts him off. Not things? How? I frowned and wondered what the student council actually wanted. If not things then what? What more can a person put in an auction?

“What do you mean would have been fine if it is things?” Gail creases her brows.

“We’re putting up people for the auction.”

WHAT THE—

“No s**t. Like p**********n auction?” Terry exclaims, his eyes widened.

Everyone had violent reactions. I didn’t know if this was wrong or just really creative. To put a person in an auction means you’re letting people buy you – letting other people give you an invisible price tag in your back which is morally wrong to be honest.

“EVERYONE QUIET!” Jonah shuts everyone up and glares each one of us. “The student council came up with this fund raising activity in relation to Valentine’s Day. Each department must send one boy and one girl for this event. They wanted students to use this opportunity t—”

“To literally buy someone they’ve always wanted.”

Jonah wasn’t able to reply because he knew it was right.

“So what do we do? Is this mandatory?”

“It is mandatory, unfortunately.” Jonah looked down in despair and everyone just fell silent. “If we’re doing this, we won’t be unfair. We’ll have a votation. The person whose name is written the most will go through the auction. Representatives, I want you all to disseminate this information to every section. We’ll have the votation on Friday. No further questions will be answered by me but the council themselves. Dismissed.”

Today, I was supposed to be in the office for the tally of votes but my major class went over our time and we had to finish our plates before five so I was rushing to the office so I could somehow start with where they are but that wasn’t the case the moment I stepped inside. Everyone turns to me with such difference faces.

“I’m sorry I’m late. Mr. Kim dismissed really late and I couldn’t pass because it was a professional subject.” The look they were giving me, I’m starting to analyze. It was as if they were pitying me for reasons I wasn’t aware of. “What’s going on? Are the results in?” I finally asked as I make my way to a vacant chair.

Chris suddenly taps my shoulder and shakes her head. I turned to Jonah with a confused look and he just looks down.

“We’re done with the tally.” Gail said who looked more collected than anyone else in the room. I still couldn’t understand why they so tensed. “Jackson and Hana were chosen,” I nodded in relief that it won’t be one from the board. “But,” I blinked as she continued speaking. “Hana shifted last semester so you,” I creased my brows in anticipation. “Nami,” Me? “Will replace her for placing second in the tally.”

I pressed my lips together and sighed.

“You don’t have to do it, Nami. I’ll just—”

“No, it’s okay.” I looked back up to Jonah who was looking at me worriedly but I flashed a smile. “I’ll be fine. It’s for the department anyway.”

“See. I told you she’ll be mature enough to handle this.” Gail blurted out.

“Yeah, but still, no one would like to be sold for a certain amount – bargaining like it’s no big deal especially if you’re not really the one who’s on top of the tally results.” He added but I just gulped down and accepted my fate. As dirty it may seem, I’ll do it for the department.

“I’m surprised that the governor even approved this type of activity. I’m so disappointed at the student council. This is a really low creativity for them.” Henry shakes his head and I really feel the empathy that everyone was giving me but it wasn’t really that big of a deal. There are bigger problems out there and this is just a small portion of it. I don’t have to think about it too much. Whatever happens, happens.

When everyone left, Jonah sat still over his post, spacing out. I walked towards him and gave him a light tap over his back. He turns to look at me. “Why do you all look so bothered by this? It’s just an auction.” I tell him with a forced smile on my face which he probably caught on since he doesn’t look convinced by my it’s-okay attitude.

“I know but I don’t want to put you in a situation that would make you feel uncomfortable.”

“You mean a situation where boys can buy girls for p**********n?” I laughed and this time, it wasn’t fake. It was pretty funny that I’m saying all these casually like I wasn’t affected by any of it. “It’s just gonna be a dinner right? With the person who wins you?”

He nodded so I nodded back in agreement. He doesn’t say anything after that. Instead, he just looks at me intently so I touch my face trying to get rid of any dirt but I don’t feel anything. I furrowed my brows confused.

“Is there something wrong?”

“I,” he paused. “I’ll do everything to win you in that auction, Nami. I promise. I won’t let you go out on a dinner with someone you’re not okay with. We don’t even have to do that dinner once I win. I’ll just do it for your own safety.”

“What?” I frowned then snorted at what he just said. “Then it’s like you just donated your money for your own department,” I looked at Jonah. “Which isn’t exactly why we’re doing this auction remember?”

“More reasons why I should waste it on you, don’t you think?” I fell silent but thankfully, he speaks again before our environment could become awkward. “Are you sure you’re fine doing this? I don’t want you to feel like a p********e like you claimed.”

I chuckled but bobbed my head. “I’m sure. Besides, you said you’re going to win me. Tell me, Jonah. Should I be worried?”

He looked away and snorted. “No, not at all. Yeah, I will win you. For the sake of my money.”

“Do suitors normally say that?”

“So you’re calling me a suitor now.” He smirks and I squinted my eyes, crossing my arms at him. He and I both know I meant to say that sarcastically but he somehow still asks me that. “Depends on what type of guy we’re talking about.” He finally answered.

I stared at Jonah shaking my head in disbelief. If I was being realistic here, I would say that our president’s quite the flirt. I didn’t know how a player is different from a flirt and now I can completely see the difference. Mark before was way touchier than him. He calls girls pet names and he dates them. Jonah on the other hard says very flattery words. He doesn’t call girls pet names and he doesn’t date girls two at a time – huge difference.

“Jonah, Mr. Becker’s looking for the files he asked for.”

We both turned to the door and saw Diane. “I’ll send them in five.”

Valentines. I remember how I spent my Valentines last year. It was the most magical night of my life but it seems like everything turning over me this year because I’ll be letting random strangers buy me with the amount they give. I am horrified of how things might turn out but I can’t really deny what it will contribute to our department. It might not be the best strategy that the student council came up with this year but at least they tried.

I was standing next to Jackson at the backstage of the auditorium waiting for our turns and the representatives were surprisingly very attractive. I can even see Justin here. He’s probably a representative of the whole senior’s class. I was nervous – not because there won’t be anyone who would go against Jonah to win me but because I’d be standing in front of a crowd again. The last time I was facing an audience, I couldn’t even remember when. It’s been too long and now I’m back on stage with a different purpose and it’s not even relevantly close to dancing.

“Fukuyama Nami.”

I raised my hand frantically and followed the man in charge as he leads me on stage. Now that I was standing next to a familiar student council officer, I start to feel my knees shaking in anxiety. I don’t know why this feeling only occurred to me right now but I was sure I never felt this nervous for the past few months.

“From the college that never sleeps, Ms. Nami Fukuyama.” The emcee, announced and lightly bowed my head. “So tell me Nami, were you forced to be here or—” I shook my head and looked at the crows. I never knew people were so into activities like these. There were a lot of people today in here.

“I wasn’t forced.”

He nodded, “Aren’t you in a relationship though? I mean, everyone here knows that you’re with one of the guys that the whole school swoons over.”

I shot up my gaze and my eyes met my board members who were standing together in a corner frozen. I was sure that they already know my situation with my ex so I guess they felt frozen when they asked something very awkward. “I, uh,” I see Jonah crossing his arms as he raised his hand catching the attention of the nosy emcee.

“Article I, Section 5 of CSU Student Handbook 2016 by Jameson Lark, those of given the power are not permitted to broadcast confidential information about students without proper permission.” He exclaimed and everyone turns to him in awe. He looked at me so I mouth him thank you. He nods after that and the emcee looked humiliated by Jonah. I feel bad that he had to experience that type of attention but he deserved it for being an awful and rude emcee.

“Let the auction begin!”

“1,000!” Jonah?

“2,000.”

I turned to the other side of the auditorium to see who just yelled and almost melted in shame when I see Mark placing his bet. He was with his friends, my step brother included, Jeffrey and Tyler. My heart raced. That was a lot of money to start off and now I was worried that Jonah might really do everything to win me here. I didn’t want him to waste that much money for something so stupid like this but I didn’t want to have dinner with Mark too. Maybe I should have made a deal with Jonah – to win me with all his power as a debt and I could just repay him afterwards.

“500.” Jonah raises his hand.

“6.” Mark immediately offered.

“650.” Jonah bets.

“800.”

“1,000.” I glared at Jonah in worry. Money wasn’t an issue to Mark. He was born rich after all but Jonah – I don’t even know if he can afford the first price he made. I just wanted him to stop now and just let Mark have me instead of wasting that much money over something that’s not really that worthy.

“Okay. This is escalating very quickly. Are there anymore offer out the—”

“2,000.”

“4.”

My stomach started twisting. I can’t believe this is actually happening.

“5.5.”

“7.”

S-Seven th—? My eyes widened as I looked at Jonah.

“10,000.”

“20.”

“50.”

Twenty thousand d—

Jonah looks at me and I shake my head at him. “3,” I let out a soft smile and hope that he’d realize that I was already making him stop – that I’m happy that he fought that long to win me but it wasn’t worth it anymore to go that far. “2,” I would rather endure a night with Mark and win the ten million for our department. “1. Nami Fukuyama for Mr. Dyer of Journalism.”

I left the stage and proceeded out of the auditorium. I see Jonah turn to my direction as he slowly walked towards me. “Are you okay?” he asked patting my back. I sighed and stared at the green grass unsure of what to feel right now.

“Thank you, Jonah. For betting your money so carelessly like that but you didn’t have to bet that much.”

“To be honest, I don’t really have that much money. I was only going for a million to win you if ever.”

WHAT? “So why would you bet that much?!” I exclaimed.

He chuckled. “I wasn’t really going to try and win you if Mark would go against me, Nami.”

What?

“I told myself, if your ex would try to win you for the auction, I wouldn’t win you either way because I was too sure that he won’t let anyone win you and so you could at least get the chance to talk to him and maybe work things out.”

I frowned at him. “Why did you start bidding over a million in the first place then? I mean, what if Mark actually stopped betting and you were in the five million part.”

“I know your ex would even bid a hundred billion just to win you but I stopped there because I have conscience.”

“So you think I’m not worth that? Is that it?” I crossed my arms with a frown.

He laughed. “No, that’s not what I meant.” He paused. “I pity your ex. If he loses that much money now where he’s only a freshman then what’ll he use in the future. I’m not saying you’re not worth the hundred billion. If anything, you’re priceless but the way he started was just too low for your value – to me especially.”

 “Sometimes I even wonder why you’re an Architecture student. You’re better off in the business department.”

He shrugged. “Besides, if we’re going to use this opportunity for the funds of our department, might as well use this chance and steal a hundred million from your desperate ex.”

Later that day, I didn’t have any choice but to repay our gain. Being in one table with Mark never felt this awkward before. I don’t know how not to be awkward. Even he wasn’t saying anything. I guess he knew I wasn’t planning to talk to him anytime sooner but the smell of chicken – it was very appetizing. If I was comfortable with who I was with, I would have dived into it.

“I’m sorry.” I hear him say so I looked at him who was just looking down his knees.

“You keep saying that every time you see me.” I replied, coldly.

He finally looks up to me and his eyes were full of sadness and guilt. I can almost – almost feel them in my heart but for as long as he doesn’t realize what he did wrong, I  don’t think I can ever bring myself to talk to him and act like I was fine with everything he did. I was still too disappointed with everything. “I really want you to know that I’m trying really hard, Nami.” I stared at him in pity. “I’m trying to fix myself. I’m trying to show you I’m worth the second chance.”

I wheezed. “There are no second chances in life, Mark.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“Then you know better.”

“That’s why I’m breaking through the ice. Everyone deserves a second chance. It’s not forgiving if you can’t forgive the unforgivable.”

You don’t even know what you’re sorry for.

“And I know I’m clueless of what I’ve done.”

So why are we still talking.

“But I want you to feel my sincerity and determination in fighting for you – fighting for what we had before.”

I pressed my lips together and gulped hard. This is his fault. I don’t understand why I feel guilty for being too sensitive but then again, Mark was so persuasive. He knew the exact words he needed to say in order to make people pity him and I shouldn’t make him do that to me.

“I’ll give you the moon and stars just to prove my worth.”

I sighed. Worth? “Only characters in movies and stories say that. This is real life. It doesn’t easily work that way and you know that.” I looked at him and he nods his head not looking back at me. It never works that way in real life.

He suddenly stood. “Enjoy the rest of the meal. I’ll,” His eyes. They were sad but he was flashing a smile, still, for some reason. “Let you eat comfortably.”

Before I could even stop him from being so selfish, he already walked out of the restaurant and never looked back. I looked at all the dish in front of me. Of course, he ordered everything I wanted to eat. He knew very well I turn into a pig whenever I see these food but tonight, it was different. I felt a hole inside my stomach that caused my loss of appetite.  Maybe a little taste of the curry.

I walked out with a heavy sigh and a strong breeze of cold wind brushed through my face. I shivered. The street, the city, it was alive and it’s not a surprise in Seoul already. I just wish I would have worn a thicker jacket so I wasn’t quivering as I walked.

“Nami!”

I turned and saw Jacob running towards me with his group of friends which I was apparently familiar with. “Jacob, Justin, Harvey. What are you kiddos doing out here in this cold night?” I ask them.

“We went to watch Tyler.” Justin replied with his usual cheerful self.

Tyler? “Are they busking?”

Harvey wheezed shaking his head no. “It’s not they. It’s just Tyler today. Mark couldn’t make it.”

Oh.

“What about you? What are you doing here?”

“And alone?” Harvey raised a brow.

I faked a laugh and scratched my head. “I was just—”

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Mark today? I heard he won you over for over a million.”

“Well—”

“Oh, yeah! Johnny was talking about it a while ago, right?” The three nodded. Of course they’d know about everything about each other even if shouldn’t even concern any of them. I blushed and looked away in shame.

“We just finished eating.”

“What are you doing now then?”

I shrugged.

“You can come join us stroll?”

Stroll. “Yeah. Sure.”