My 1000-years love

Chapter 19

Sgannar pulled off his black t-shirt, and all the air was knocked out of my lungs. The muscles in his arms and chest rippled under his skin, but it didn’t look excessive. It looked perfect. Eight-pack abs led my gaze down to his jeans. I didn’t even understand why my mouth filled with saliva. But I didn’t feel ashamed. After all, it had been made clear to me that from now on, it was all mine. Just reach out. And I did. Rather, my hands naturally rested on the chest of this earthly yet so inhumanly perfect man. I caressed every inch of his bare skin, not thinking I should hide my need. Why would I? To him, I’m an open book anyway.

Sgannar could only endure my exploration for a minute. With a pained groan, he scooped me up, continuing to kiss me, and dropped me onto the bed, falling after me. I didn’t even realize when I suddenly found myself without my white sweater. Some distant part of my consciousness was still screaming that I shouldn’t have surrendered. How could I? Where was my pride? Where was my right to choose? And that made my capitulation, sprinkled with a slight aroma of shyness and resistance, even sweeter.

When he freed himself from his jeans, I couldn’t hold back a cry.

“Sgan, no, I can’t.”

“You are mine. You were made for me. Trust me, I know,” he whispered passionately. “Just relax. Trust me, lleiro.”

And with those words, he moved down, spreading my legs. The movements of his head were the most perfect, the most wonderful of everything that had happened to me recently, and within three minutes I cried out muffledly. He took in my spasms with his mouth for a long time, then abruptly rose and kissed me, intertwining his shameless tongue with mine, pushing it again and again into my mouth, taking my breath and giving me his.

“I’m all yours. Take me,” he rasped, and with one strong movement, he was inside me. I was still burning, and at the same time, I felt an emptiness that demanded to be filled immediately. I couldn’t understand what made me moan more, the pleasure or the pain. Probably both at once. He gave me time to adjust while I gasped for air, thinking I must die from this exquisite pleasure

“See? Trust me. Always trust me. It’ll get better soon.” He started to move. Placing one hand on my head and gripping my buttocks with the other, he moved gently forward and very slowly back. But the tenderness didn’t last long. I didn’t need it to. I needed thrusts, sharp and rough. I wanted him to take me, to drive into me again and again, the loud slaps proving to me the full force of his passion. I arched my back and moaned like a wounded animal.

“Look into my eyes,” he rasped when, in a surge of pleasure, I threw my head back and closed my eyes. He moved more sharply and harder. Though I thought that if it got any rougher, it would hurt. But no, it was needed. It was so right that my womb continued to tremble in time with his movements.

He growled. Looking at me with a crazed gaze, he reached for a kiss and exhaled his moan into my mouth. Then he pulled away, hugged me tightly, and shuddered, pouring into me in a hot, scalding stream. I burned with pleasure and triumph. I felt my power over this man and understood that I now belonged to him, and there was no escaping it.

When we both calmed down a bit, he gently withdrew from me, and I felt a treacherous emptiness and longing. But he didn’t leave me, turning me to face away from him and cradling me in his strong arms.

“Now you’re mine. Completely mine,” he whispered happily into my hair.

In the morning, I woke up alone. And that slightly lifted my spoiled mood. The night had been amazing. The most amazing, but honestly, I wished it hadn’t changed anything. I wasn’t ready for the closeness that Sgannar desired. I surrendered. I wanted it. But it was just s*x. And I finally admitted to myself that I had terribly missed it all these years. I needed to feel like a woman, desirable, beautiful, capricious. But I couldn’t yet reciprocate the depth of his feelings that he had told me about. Because I wasn’t ready to open my heart to an arrogant, controlling man who didn’t shy away from kidnapping people and forcing them into marriage without the other party’s consent. So, the relationship of the past few weeks suited me perfectly. So what if people often have s*x without it meaning anything to them? But something told me that Sgannar wouldn’t share my frivolous earthly notions.

✧✧✧

“Did you want it yourself?” Kalon snapped at me, tensely searching my face.

I nodded, embarrassed.

“I see,” he spat. He studied me for a long time, and when he finally exhaled, a heat so intense burned through my lower abdomen that I gasped, staggering and barely managing to grab onto the chair. Kalon jumped to catch me, but when he saw I was steady, he let his hands fall awkwardly. He stood just inches from me, inhaling deeply as if he had just run a sprint.

“How do you do that? And why?”

“I don’t know, Haag. My mother was a raath, from the ruling clan. I’m an illegitimate son. Almost no one knows about it, probably only Sgannar. She gave me up right after birth to an orphanage. That’s where he found me.

“You can shut me out, Haag. Like you do with Sgannar. Because I... I can’t control my desires. The stronger my emotions, the more you feel them.

“Why don’t others feel them?”

“Years of service have suppressed almost all my emotions. Others don’t concern me at all. No one senses my emotions because I hardly feel any. I was born with some raath abilities but with no control over them. So, I had to completely stifle all emotional outbursts in myself, which trigger my specific telekinesis.”

“But why don’t I feel anything like that from Sgannar?”

“Control. Raaths are very emotional. At the same time, all their emotions boil inside and are kept under control. If it weren’t so, we’d all burn in the fire of his slightest displeasure. I can’t imagine what would happen if you felt his desire. By the way, it’s a good way to show a woman you want her without any words. Only in my case, nature deprived me of the ability to hide my... feelings.” The gray-eyed handsome man smiled bitterly.

He was practically confessing to me right now. This had to stop.

“If you want, we can stop our lessons, Kal.” I automatically placed my hand on his forearm. He looked at it as if hypnotized, then shook his head sharply.

“No, no one can teach you better than I can. And I... I need to be here. For your safety. I have to be close. You just don’t realize it yet.”

There were those hints again. As if I was being taken not to the homeland of my eternal lover, but to a den of serial killers where every self-respecting member of society was either trying to kill me or just spit on my earthly soul. I already didn’t like it.

“Whatever you say,” I replied. “Sgannar already knows about your feelings.”

“I never doubted it,” Kalon smiled again. “But I’m still alive. That means the emperor trusts me. And you need to know, Haag, that I won’t let him down. Or you.”

With those words, he took two steps back. Then he sat in his chair and commanded, “Today we’ll review the maneuvers of Tarak from the Nagrid clan in the sect wars. Sit down. What are you hanging around like a rusty droid?”

And, feeling relieved, I laughed.