My bruises, Your Pain

Chapter 3: At the end of the rainbow

Dear diary,

I made it, I don’t know how but I made it through the day. I was relieved when school was over and was walking home and the events kept replaying in my mind, I tried hard to fight the tears because I didn’t want to be a victim anymore. I wish I could say that at least I am going to my happy place but I don’t think it will be any better at home. I wish I was the one turning 18 at least then I would be able to leave and live my own life. I know, I know I should be grateful for what I have but if you were in my shoes you would understand that having a roof over your head does not necessarily mean you have everything you need. Emotional stability plays a big role. I am sorry for dwelling on my feelings… I was half way home when he pulled up in front of me yet again, I crossed the road to try and avoid him but he ran up to me grabbing me by my arm “I am so sorry about what happened. I know all I did was stand there and watch how they made a joke out of you but there is more to it.” He said, and even though I could hear and see that he was sincere, I didn’t want to hear it. I shook my arm lose from his grip and started walking away but he was too fast and before I knew it I was in his embrace. I felt so safe, I felt loved and for a second I just let go and held onto him as tightly as possible. We stood there for a while before I moved out of his embrace, as we parted our eyes met and our lips locked.

I could taste menthol on his lips with an undertone of tobacco as if he was hiding the fact that he was smoking. His scent was addictive, the same crisp lavender with notes of sandalwood as his jacket. Our lips parted and I looked at him in awe, his lips pale pink a little separated from each other and little dimples formed on the corner of his mouth as a smile started growing on his face. I knew there and then that I wanted to be with him no matter the obstacles we were facing and I could see it in his body language that he felt exactly the same. He finally broke the silence. “I have been wanting to do that since the very first day I met you,” he said the words only barely coming out as if he was lost for words. The time on his watch gave me a reality check, if I wasn’t home in the next few minutes I will have to go through another beating. My foster mom makes sure that I am on time for work, I mean who wouldn’t if you get half of the cash. “I need to go,” I whispered, my voice shaky and I couldn’t hide my nerves. “Take this and send me a message when you can.” He said placing a phone in my hand and gave me a kiss on my forehead. I didn’t have time to daydream, I immediately started running making sure I made my curfew but not without looking back ones or twice just checking that he was really there and it wasn’t all in my head.

I was completely out of breath when I walked through the door and I made it with a minute to spare! She gave me a look “I don’t think there is any time to eat! Get your things and get to work!” she yelled. I was way too high on love to care, I washed my face and took a bag and left for work. It  was hard keeping up with everything, when I get home from school its work and when I am done at work I still have to do my homework after chores that is. Luckily my boss was nice, he give me off a few times in the week to focus on school and still give me enough money to give to my foster mom, making my life a little easier. I work in a dinner, luckily I don’t have to face any of the kids from school since it’s ‘out of their league’ their words not mine.

It was a long shift but it was good not being at home the whole time, giving me too much time to think of what things could be like if Alec would love me openly. I finished up my chores as soon as I got home, ate my sandwich and now I can focus on my school work. I entered our bedroom to see the girls sitting on the floor in the corner, they were both badly bruised and were crying uncontrollably. I tried my best to comfort them but I know it’s not something any hug could make better. I immediately lost the energy to do my schoolwork, I climbed into bed shoes and all and pulled the blanket over my head. I could still hear them sob, but at least they went to bed. I pulled out the phone he gave me, it took me a while to formulate a text because I can’t really say what is on my mind.

Text conversation:

Me (Deirdre): Are you there?

Instant.

Alec: I am here. How are you?

Me: I am okay, you?

Alec: I am good, you can tell me the truth you know.

Me: I was lucky tonight but the others not so much.

Alec: What do you mean others?

Me: I will tell you in person, I don’t have the energy to talk about that now.

We chatted about just about everything till the early hours of the morning, and he even send me a picture of himself, ending a very difficult and horrible day with a little sunshine and light.