The Alpha in Me

Joy killers

knock! knock!

"Meghan?! It's me, Maid Julia. Breakfast is ready, your mother wants you on the table by 9:30a.m."

I frantically jumped out of my sleep as I reached for my alarm clock to shut off the added disturbance of my 9:15a.m. alarm. Too exhausted to open my eyes, I mumbled below my breath, "I am not a child!"

Why does she treat me as if I am still a child? She never orders her perfect Emma around.

Between the lines of wake and sleep, I couldn't ignore the giggling coming from the Rose Gardens. I reluctantly sprang from my bed to the ground and rushed to spy through a little creek in the window blinds. It was nobody but the two new love birds Collyn and Emma.

I ironically observed how he delicately picked the red roses and placed them in her curly red hair, kissing her softly on her face and neck just the way he used to when he was with me. Emma smiled at him with so much adoration. It was like she was ready to be submissive and be the Luna he wanted her to be. Her high pitched giggles... Ugghhh! So f*cking annoying! It did not seem that annoying to him. as he smiled like he never smiled before.

I twirled my lips upwards and skinned my face in disgust as he kissed her very intimately.

Who is this man that once loved me? How is it this easy for him to move forward so quickly!? Is he thinking of me while he is doing this?!

I sighed to myself. Just as he was about to look up at my window, I quickly pulled away, dreading being seen. I immediately left the window and got ready for breakfast to avoid being scolded by mother. I had a feeling that she had invited Collyn for breakfast, hence the reason he was outside with Emma and I knew mother well. She would gladly do anything to embarrass me in front of our guests, especially in front of Collyn. She would make sure to bury all my dignity with shame so he would continue to think I am a dirt bag that allows people to talk ill mannerly to me. She would ensure that I appear worthless. Although Collyn had already stole my dignity I was not going to allow him to view me as if I was nothing.

Just as I thought, Collyn was invited to breakfast. I felt like turning around and returning to my room, but mother had already spotted me coming down the stairs. I felt nervous and prayed in my mind that Mrs. Livia don't start any sh*t.

I quietly sat at the table. My chest was filling up with air as the atmosphere seemed to be getting tight. I awkwardly glimpsed at my sister, then at Collyn, then at Mother trying to swallow my waffles and eggs with an empty appetite.

"Congratulations again! When is the wedding ceremony?" I politely asked, hoping to break the unbearable silence also to appear very supportive of their relationship.

"You need to stay out of your sister's business!" Mother started to scold me. Collyn looked at me as if he lost his tongue. Emma rolled her eyes at me... I bowed my head, I don't even know why I bothered.

"Knock, Knock, Surprise!"

"OMG! Elias," I shouted.

My brother had finally decided to grace us with his presence with his wife Kareema. Bursting with excitement, I sprung to my feet to greet them. Thanking God he came to save me from the embarrassment that was coming.

I wrapped my hands over his narrow structure. My brother, whom I love dearly and missed wholeheartedly, it's been months since I have seen him. I hugged him like I didn't want to let go. He left our pack to join his wife's pack a few months ago where he became Alpha of the Thornton pack. Ever since he had just been too busy.

“To what do we owe this delightful visit?”Mother stood up and welcomed him into her arms. "My spoiled child, I miss you so much!" she squeezed him tightly and kissed him as if he was still a boy then did the same to Kareema.

"I am only here to say congratulations to my two beautiful sisters on their new wolf journey!" he poked me playfully and sat on a seat next to me. His wife then sat next to him.

"Julia! Julia... Don't you see I have guest?! Get them some breakfast! Now!" scolded Mother with a devilish smile.

"Yes Madam!" Maid Julia scrambled her narrow ebony structure to the kitchen. Sometimes I wish mother would talk to her as if she was human.

"Sorry, we couldn't make it to the ceremony. I had a situation that needed my urgent attention. This must be the Alpha. Elias." He introduced himself to Collyn with a hand shake... "You are a lucky guy to have an amazing Luna like my sister to be your mate. I hope you mark her soon. I heard there are some Beta males that left their packs to become independent predators. They are terrorizing some packs by raping and marking their young she-wolves, stripping them of their dignity."

A moment of awkward silence filled the room again.

"By the way, congratulations Emma, Miss Silver Wolf! I bet you are a badass silver wolf. I think we should go out in the forest later, and you could show me your wolf." Yapped Elias as he tried to gaslight Emma.

"I am not just a badass. I am a badass! badass!! Silver wolf" Bragged Emma. They all giggled. "I bet I can outrun all of you!" She boasted because, of course, she was easily gas up.

Then there it went. I just watched what was a we conversation turned into a her conversation. All of everyone's attention was just redirected her way. Everyone was smiling and laughing as words went back and forth from topics she placed on the table.

I sat quietly and observed how happy they all were without my input. It was like I barely existed. Trying not to appear unhappy, I drew a smile on my face and barred all the laughters and noise out. Through the fires of hope and prayer I swallowed my tongue in anguish. I was never a chatterbox like Emma. My voice was not very powerful like Emma's, so, of course, even if I had said something it would have gone unheard.

After moments of suffering, I left the table and no one even noticed.

Later that day, I heard a knocking on the front door from my bedroom. My bedroom was my favorite place in the house. It was the only place I felt safe and free to be me. It was a place I could spend all day and all night without getting tired of being there, without being looked down at or disrespected. It was my comfort zone. I had lovely paintings on my wall which reminded me that I would pursue my artistic skills one day. I had a desk where I would sit and read and write short novels. I also had a lounge chair by the window where I would sit and enjoy the fresh air and scent of beautiful roses in the front yard while I read some of the best romance novels. I also loved looking through the windows because it had the most amazing view of beautiful greens plains and tall mountains. I could have see all who came to the house and all who had left the house.

This time it was the deliveryman knocking on the door. He handed a letter to maid Julia as she signed to receive it.

Not too long after, I heard screams of joy and excitement rocking through the walls of the house as mother bawled out.

"Nightingale Ball here we come!"