Never Truth

22

“Hey Ladybug Girl, wanna swing?” And that was all it took. We fell into step as if there’d been no disruption. Each school year, we found every chance we could to see each other, and no matter how much or how little we were together over the summer, we picked up in September as if we hadn’t been apart at all. When I arrived for the first day of junior high, I could tell something was different. Nico was waiting for me at my newly assigned locker. I wasn’t even sure how he’d known where it was, but there he stood, leaning against the wall of metal with his arms crossed smugly over his chest. He’d grown over the summer, even more than he usually did. His T-shirt was snug around his arms, and I had to look up at him more than I ever had before. Something about seeing him there waiting for me made my belly feel weird. Instead of running into his arms like I had every other year, I gave him a shy smile. I’d seen him a few times over the summer, but my dad no longer allowed him over for playdates like he had in the past. “Hey, Ladybug. Drop your books, and I’ll walk you to class,” he offered confidently. He took my backpack from me as I worked the combination on my locker, which I had practiced endlessly on back-to-school night. “You don’t have to. I brought my schedule and know where my classes are,” I offered absently as I clicked open the door. “Don’t be silly. I want to—that’s what guys do for their girlfriends.” I almost dropped my new math book on my foot when his words registered. Girlfriend? Was I Nico’s girlfriend? I was a girl, and we were friends … was that all it took? I’d seen my older sisters discuss boys and even caught Maria kissing one once, but I hadn’t even thought about any boys that way. My eyes went wide as I peered up at him, taking in the rich warmth of his deep blue eyes. I could stare into those eyes every day of forever and feel that everything was right with the world. Would I want Nico to kiss me? My heart stuttered in my chest and a tingling warmth spread from my hands up my arms. Yes. I would definitely be interested in knowing what it was like to kiss Nico. The rush of thoughts raced through my mind as I stared up at him blankly. Fortunately, I didn’t have to say a word. “I’ve wanted this for a long time, but we were too young before. Now we’re both in junior high, and I want you to be my girl.” He nudged my shoulder with his, a small hint of uncertainty slipping through his masculine bravado. “Tell me you’ll be my girl, Ladybug.” His softly spoken words had a slight rasp, his voice transitioning to something deeper and more masculine. I wasn’t sure what being his girlfriend entailed, but I didn’t care. Being Nico’s girl was a no-brainer—there was nothing else on this planet I’d want to be. “I’m pretty sure I’ve always been your girl,” I answered back with an awkward smirk. “Yeah, but I want it to be official. I want everyone here to know that Sofia Genovese belongs to Nico Conti, so there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind.” “Well, I guess you’ve got a girlfriend then.” Nico dropped my bag and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the ground in a bear hug and spinning us in a circle with a loud whoop. I had a lot of happy days with Nico, but that was one for the highlight reel. I was Nico Conti’s girlfriend. OceanofPDF.com In for a penny, in for a pound—that was what my mom always said. Some things in life were all or nothing, and Sofia was one of those things. The connection that pulsated between us wasn’t exactly something that could be turned on and off. My awareness of her was always there like moonlight in the dead of night. Whether it was a brilliant full moon or a new moon only present in the faintest hint of a shadow, it was always there. Closing my eyes had kept me from having to see her radiance, but now my eyes had been opened. I’d been forced to remember what it was like to have her in my life. There was no way to undo that knowledge. Nor could I walk away before more damage was done. I’d been ordered to keep her safe, and to do that, I’d need to be close to her. Even if I could protect her from a distance, I couldn’t keep her at arm’s length any more than I could stop myself from breathing. If I was going to be near her, I’d want all of her. But there would always be so many secrets between us that we were doomed to fail. Starting anything with her was messed up and could only end in a bloody disaster, but I saw no way around it. The concept of a casual friendship with Sofia was laughable. Over the years, the longer I abstained from seeing her, the less pronounced the craving, but it was still there in the back of my mind. Now that I’d had a taste, there was no moderating my consumption. I wanted to bury myself inside her—cage her in my arms and never let her go. That was how I found myself at her house, sitting in the shadows of her back patio like a f*****g creeper. I’d told Enzo I was monitoring the place to explain my presence on his security footage. He suggested I come celebrate with them, but I declined. Sofia was likely already suspicious about my sudden reappearance—no need to make it obvious. I watched her and her family in their grand living room as they toasted to her graduation. She walked through the paces with a mechanical smile on her face, playing the part of the happy graduate. Was it the presence of her family that kept her from enjoying the evening, or was it something more?